Living a 'Weed' Free Life

Someone told me the other day that they see that old "victim" mentality coming off me. What a fabulous thing to say. For me it was better than "you look skinny in those jeans". 

I had not realized that I had as many hang-ups as I did. That may seem like a weird thing to say, but the biggest lies we believe are the ones we tell to ourselves. 

For the most part I thought I was pretty good. I had come through so much. But I failed to realize that there is no one good but Jesus and He is the author and the finisher. He began writing my story but He is not finished. 

I was never more aware of how far I still had to go as when I was sitting in the parking lot of Wal-Mart at ten at night crying my eyes out. The rough day I was having had been topped off with my youngest telling me she needed new heels for her choir dress, twenty dollars for the trip to competition the next day and a sack lunch two days from then. 

I realized I had passed on some major hang-ups I have with money onto my kid, and standing in Wal-Mart with her just twenty minutes earlier, I saw those hang-ups in her face and body language. She felt guilty even asking for something as small and as trivial as a pair of $15 shoes, a sack lunch and $20. Less than $40 had her so bound up that her anxiety was palpable. 

It wasn't all the demands that really upset me: it was that I knew in that moment, crying my eyes out, that I had missed the mark as a parent. Not because she asked for too much, these things are small, but because I placed a higher value on the cost of things than on the value of my daughter. My heart broke right then. 

As I sat in my truck talking to a friend on the phone, tears streaming down my face, I knew what I had to do. I had to repent to God for placing money higher than Him and then I had to repent for placing money higher than my girls, and I had to tell them that I was sorry too. 

When I came home, I gathered my family and repented for my attitude in the store, which had not been good, and then I repented for placing such value on not being able to afford “things” it sent a message to my girls that money was somehow more important than them. Lots of tears flowed from me, and my girls did not know how to take what I was saying. I think it surprised them, and hopefully it made them think. 

When my husband and I talked about it later, I made a statement that I hope to never forget. “I will never be moved by what I don’t have again, I will forever be moved to give because God says to give, even when my wallet says no, my faith will say YES! I will give above my tithe, and I will stretch my faith.” 

Will this change in my attitude make a difference? 

The bible says “Judge not, and ye shall not be judged: condemn not, and ye shall not be condemned: forgive, and ye shall be forgiven: Give, and it shall be given unto you; good measure, pressed down, and shaken together, and running over, shall men give into your bosom. For with the same measure that ye mete withal it shall be measured to you again.” (Luke 6:37-38 KJV) 

The Message says it this way- "Don't pick on people, jump on their failures, criticize their faults— unless, of course, you want the same treatment. Don't condemn those who are down; that hardness can boomerang. Be easy on people; you'll find life a lot easier. Give away your life; you'll find life given back, but not merely given back—given back with bonus and blessing. Giving, not getting, is the way. Generosity begets generosity." 

It is not the amount of my giving, but the attitude behind it that is important. This is true in every aspect of our lives, not just money, though that is what I am focusing on today.

Deuteronomy 15:10-11 in The Message says “Give freely and spontaneously. Don't have a stingy heart. The way you handle matters like this triggers God, your God's, blessing in everything you do, all your work and ventures. There are always going to be poor and needy people among you. So I command you: Always be generous, open purse and hands, give to your neighbors in trouble, your poor and hurting neighbors.” 

It is a lifestyle of giving that I need to live: not a lifestyle of lack. I have more on my hand in jewelry than some people in countries around the world make in a year. God said not to worry about tomorrow. I need to trust God in this area of my life, just as I have for every other area of my life so far. 

When we worry about the things of life, rather than concentrate on the things of God, the work God wants to do will get tangled up in the weeds of life, and our futures are strangled and choked. I want a life that is “weed” free, thank you very much, and as I grow in God, He pulls those weeds from my heart and grafts newness into me. 

God’s grace is sufficient, He is my provider, and I will not go hungry. He is able to do above and beyond all I ask or think, I only need to trust Him! 

So I want to ask you this, do you place more emphasis on what you have or don’t have than on God being able to “do” on your behalf? 

Be blessed and be a blessing and remember give is a verb- and so is trust!