How to be a Better Friend in 3 Steps

"Conversations" by Jason Schukltz Photo Creative Commons

Conversations in my life often inspire me. 

I was telling a couple of my friends I need a tee-shirt that says “Disclaimer: This conversation may be used later on my blog”. 

They laughed. Somewhat nervously. 

Nothing is Sacred

Life is about more than just our ministries or work, but sometimes I find myself looking around with one thought in mind: “How can I glean something here for the blog?” Since this blog is my ministry, it can become pretty all consuming. In the first days of MySpace and Facebook, this was a problem for some people too. Perhaps it still is for a few people. There is no filter on what people share on the internet these days. Nothing is sacred or private anymore. 

Take me for instance. My life is filled with fodder for the blog. I have 2 teenage girls who constantly do strange and wacky stuff I could turn into writing gold if I did not care about how they felt. I have considered it once or twice, but so far have abstained. I mean really- they have done some really funny stuff- it would be so easy. 

Then there are the ups and downs with friends, the ins and outs of marriage, and my life as a daughter-in-law whose mother-in-law lives two rooms over. Yet, I cannot take advantage of these relationships by constantly looking for antidotes for a blog. 

I cannot take advantage. 

I do not want to be that person. The one people have to be careful what they say or how they say it because they don’t want it on the internet for the world to see. I want to be the mother and the wife. I need to be the friend that anyone can talk to and that people feel safe with. 

I need to be this way because my peer to peer relationships are more important than written words on a page. I never want to be labeled as a “User”. 

Our friends and family should always feel like they got more poured into them than was taken out. This is what I strive for every time I am with other people. I do not always live up to this standard, but I try nonetheless. 

Be a Better Friend

You may not be a writer, but the principle is the same. It is, after all, more blessed to give than receive. 

Here are three steps to becoming a better friend. 

Step 1) Give- your time, your attention, your love, your service, your goods, and yes, sometimes your money. Give (not loan) to others without the expectation of receiving anything in return. When we hold out our hands to give and someone is blessed by that gift, then our hands and our hearts are open to receive. This is just how it works. 

Step 2) Leave them better than you found them. Speak into their lives with love and purpose. Always point the way back to Jesus. Do not worry whether they hear it all the time, but always speak the truth in love. 

Step 3) Communicate honestly. Transparency is paramount. When you make a mistake, own up to it. They will respect you more if you admit to being flawed. It also helps if Jesus is shining brighter than you. (That way we can see more of Him through the cracks in your pot) 

With these three things in mind, your peer to peer relationships will be more fruitful and satisfying and if by chance you get a funny story to tell along the way, then all the better to blog with…right? I kid, I kid. 

What do you look for in a friend?




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