The Naked Truth about Sexual Sin: Part One

Photo Credit Creative Commons

Let’s talk about sex. 

There are those that would say that a big part of self-discovery has to do with sexuality. I say they are wrong. 

Sex is meant for one place: marriage. 

Does that make you angry? Well I won’t apologize for what the Bible says. 

Genesis 2:23-25 And Adam said, “This is now bone of my bones, and flesh of my flesh: she shall be called Woman, because she was taken out of Man.” Therefore shall a man leave his father and his mother, and shall cleave unto his wife: and they shall be one flesh. And they were both naked, the man and his wife, and were not ashamed. 

Here we see God’s plan for sex in a marriage. Broken down it looks like this (AND in this order!): 

1. Leave Mom and Dad (to marry) 
2. Cleave (faithfully committed in marriage) 
3. Sex (begins the soul ties and weaving two people into one flesh) 
4. There is no guilt or shame in what they do because they are within God’s boundaries. 

Isn't this an antiquated system and not relevant anymore? 

No. The case for sex within marriage has never been stronger. 

The most recent report from the CDC (2010) stated “STDs are public health problems that lack easy solutions because they are rooted in human behavior and fundamental societal problems”

The report goes on to say “Estimates suggest that even though young people aged 15–24 years represent only 25% of the sexually experienced population, they acquire nearly half of all new STDs.”

That is just a small portion of a 17 year study by the CDC, and addresses only the physical aspects of unsafe sex. Let’s explore other aspects now. 

First, what is sexual sin? 

A: Sex outside of marriage. This includes premarital sex, adultery, oral sex, and masturbation. 

But this post isn't about a list of rules about going too far. I don’t care about bases, homeruns or any other metaphor for pushing boundaries. Sex outside of the design of God (i.e. within marriage) is wrong. Sin is missing the mark or the standard God has set. (If you are not aiming at that goal, you will miss it.) 

Sex outside of marriage is damaging. I know. I was sexually active at 15 and though I did not have sex again until my husband. I was left bereft of the joy of discovery with my God-chosen partner. I also was left wide open to exploring more sexual sin since I knew what sex outside of marriage already was. 

But it feels good. 

There is pleasure in sin – for a season. Then the consequences begin to pile up. 

· Pregnancy 
· Loneliness 
· Abuse 
· Disease 
· Guilt 
· Self-loathing 
· Anger 
· Mistrust 

When a couple gets the order wrong, drama ensues. It ramps up a relationship before it is ready for it. Marriage changes everything. 

Gene and Shannon. Photo Credit Creative Commons

Ask Gene Simmons. 

Gene Simmons, founder of the rock band KISS and star of the reality TV show “Gene Simmons' Family Jewels” bragged for years about his many sexual exploits. He even wrote books about it. 

Now, after decades of promiscuity, Gene is paying the price for it in his marriage to Shannon Tweed-Simmons, who he has two adult children with, but only recently married. The couple is seeing a counselor and trying to regain trust and emotional stability after years of living outside the bonds of marriage. 

In one episode recently, Shannon burned thousands of pictures of women Gene had been with. Can you imagine the damage to not just him, but all those women out there who bound themselves spiritually to Gene when they joined physically with him? 

Shannon seemed to and she was moved to tears by it all. 

While this makes for riveting TV I cannot imagine it makes for a happy life and marriage. 

So what do you do with how you feel right now? 

Sex outside of marriage comes down to 2 core issues: Heart and Self-Control. 

Heart: 

First, sexual sin is no worse or better than any other sin. Really. Sin is sin. 

There are some that God dislikes more, but all sins bring you short of God’s plans for you. 

The Complete Jewish Bible says “Create in me a clean heart, God; renew in me a resolute spirit.” 

When we lust in our hearts, we exalt something higher than God. This brings our focus off of the Father and onto the object of our lust. Like driving a car, where your eyes are focused, that is where you steer the car towards. 

Self-Control: 

There is another scripture that says “Do not awaken love until the time is right” Song of Solomon 8:4 (NLT) 

Paul even admonished the church in Corinth (which had a highly sexualized culture – as do we) to run from sexual sin. Not just fight the urges or set boundaries for where to stop making out. He said RUN!

You are the only one that can control you. You have to become resolute to always hold yourself to God’s standard and to remove yourself from situations that may lead to opportunities to sin. 

Here are some hints to making this easier: 

1. Do not be alone together. Double date and when the night is over drop the ladies off first. Better yet, go on group dates/events. 
2. Be Accountable. Find someone other than your boyfriend to be accountable to. A parent, a friend, a minister. 
3. Make a plan. Like a plan to escape a burning building, you need a plan for when things get too hot. What do you do? What do you say? Where do you go? 

The naked truth about sexual sin is this: sex outside of God’s design is wrong. 

“Aim for nothing and you’ll hit it every time.” In other words: Stay on target! God has set the standard and you need to aim for it. 

Do you think staying a virgin until marriage is possible? Why or why not?