Walk the Talk: Learning to Shut Up

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Out of frustration we “give people a piece of our minds” or we “let it rip”. The convenience store clerk, the toll booth person, the umpire at your kid’s little league baseball game: no one is safe from your wrath when you feel like you have a point to be made. 

I am so guilty of this. 

Once, in my anger, hurt, and frustration with a pastor, I “let it rip” and told him everything I thought of him and the church staff. 

This was not done in love. It was a shouting match in the foyer of the church that cleared the room except for someone on staff there. 

At the time I felt justified. At the time I felt right. At the time, I felt slightly vindicated. 

I told him! 

In reality I was prideful, haughty, contentious, and just plain wrong. 

There were things that needed to “be fixed” in that church, but it was not my place to say so. 

Want to know why? 

Because I am not the HOLY GHOST! 

That’s right. I am not that still small voice that tells people what to do, where to go or how to change. That is God and it is His job to change people, not mine and not yours. 

I was wrong in what I did. 

Here is scripture to back that up: 

Proverbs 10:12 (Amplified) 

“Hatred stirs up contentions, but love covers all transgressions.” 

Proverbs 15:1 (ESV) 

“A soft answer turns away wrath, but a harsh word stirs up anger.” 

James 3:13-16 says it plainly: 

“Do you want to be counted wise, to build a reputation for wisdom? Here's what you do: Live well, live wisely, live humbly. It's the way you live, not the way you talk, that counts. Mean-spirited ambition isn't wisdom. Boasting that you are wise isn't wisdom. Twisting the truth to make yourselves sound wise isn't wisdom. It's the furthest thing from wisdom—it's animal cunning, devilish conniving. Whenever you're trying to look better than others or get the better of others, things fall apart and everyone ends up at the others' throats.” 

For me there are three things I need to think about before I speak up when angry. 

1. Is this a kingdom issue? 
2. Is this me just wanting to be right? 
3. What will my speaking do here? Clear things up or muddy the waters more? 

James says “It is the way you live, not the way you talk that counts”. I understand this is harder than is sounds. 

Holding our tongue takes practice and patience and a soft heart. 

Practice 

When learning something new: try, try, try again. Then, put a little “Umph” into the try and you will get “Triumph”! 

Patience 

Love keeps going, Love cares for others above even themselves, Love doesn't say “I want that”, Love doesn't strut around, Love doesn’t have a big head. Love doesn’t have to be right all the time, say “me first, or fly off the handle. Love doesn't “get even” or get excited when others fail. 

LOVE DOES take delight in the truth, PUTS UP WITH ANYTHING, Trusts God always and has a positive outlook on life and the world around them. Love does not look back, but keeps going to the end. 

I may have written this in plain English, but the bible said it first. 

Soft Heart 

Proverbs 16:23 (KJV) 

“The heart of the wise teacheth his mouth, and addeth learning to his lips.” 

Luke 6:35

“Good people have good things saved in their hearts. That’s why they say good things. But those who are evil have hearts full of evil, and that’s why they say things that are evil. What people say with their mouths comes from what fills their hearts.” 

So ask God to soften your heart. 

“Create in me a clean heart, O God; and renew a right spirit within me.” Psalms 51:10.

So instead of open mouth and insert foot, I want to close mouth and point foot in the direction that love walks in. How about you? 

Have you ever flown off the handle at someone and then had to go back and apologize?