I Get By With A Little Help From My Friends

Inner Circle of Friends Credit: Creative Commons

Proverbs 27:17 (Message) “You use steel to sharpen steel, and one friend sharpens another.”

Coffee with a Friend 

I was having coffee with a friend yesterday (one of my favorite pass times) and we got on the subject of friendship. 

As we talked we discovered that we held in common one belief: Everyone can have friends, but the core group directly around you (your closest friends) is the most important, especially when you are a leader.

I have two examples for you.

Moses, Aaron and Hur

Moses and Aaron were brothers. These two are mentioned together in the Bible 139 times. Often, when God was telling Moses something, Aaron was right there, getting the same download. When the people complained and murmured against Moses, Aaron was being complained about too. When Moses needed a spokesman, Aaron knew his brother’s heart so well; he spoke on Moses’ behalf. These two were a powerhouse. When Hur was added into the mix, nothing could stop these guys. Moses relied on Hur just as he did Aaron.

Exodus 24:14 Moses told the elders, “Stay here and wait for us until we come back. Aaron and Hur are here with you. If anyone has a dispute while I am gone, consult with them.”

When Moses grew tired during battle, who had his back? Aaron and Hur.

Exodus 17:11-13 Whenever Moses held up his hand, Israel would start winning the battle. Whenever Moses lowered his hand, Amalek would start winning. But Moses’ hands grew tired. So they took a stone and put it under Moses so he could sit down on it. Aaron and Hur held up his hands, one on each side of him so that his hands remained steady until sunset. So Joshua defeated Amalek and his army with the sword.

Moses was undoubtedly the leader of the Nation, but Aaron and Hur were his right and left hands.

Peter, James, John

The three closest to Jesus were Peter, James, and John. These were the ones he spent the most time with. The ones he prayed with. The ones he loved the most. Each friend brought a different thing to Jesus as a friend.

Peter was brash. A tell it like it is kind of guy that swings swords first and asks questions later. He is the one that first called Jesus the Christ. He also had an impetuous streak. When Jesus was going to wash the disciples’ feet, Peter pitched a fit until he realized Jesus was sealing their friendship with service, and then he was ready for a sponge bath. The guy was funny like that.

James was special. He was a fisherman. As Jesus walked by them on the shore he recognized something in James that sparked. Has that ever happened to you? You meet someone and you immediately “click”? James was a leader. He brought his brother and even his mother to follow Jesus.

James was quick to react, and had a bit of a temper, though Peter got stuck with the bad rep of being the hot head. Jesus nicknamed James and his brother John the Sons of Thunder, because they wanted to call fire down on a guy for not believing.

John did have a tender side though. Jesus held a tender affection for John. He trusted John to always do the right thing. John was a details person. He was the one Jesus wanted to set up the Passover meal. He was the one he trusted with His mother. Jesus had brothers. They could of and should have taken in Mary. Jesus trusted his friend John.

These three men were Jesus’ inner circle. They saw the everyday Jesus and they saw the Christ. They were all passionate but each had something slightly different to offer. We can learn something from these men and from Moses, Aaron and Hur.

1. Friends are not all interchangeable. Each friend brings something different to the table.

2. We need friends who tell us like it is, but remind us how it should be too.

3. We need friends who will pray for/with us and friends who will go to battle for us.

4. We need friends who are trustworthy.

5. We need friends who will go above and beyond the call of duty and minister not just to us, but our families as well.

If you have friends in your life who embody these qualities you are truly blessed. These people will stick with you and can make all the difference in the world!

What are characteristics you look for in a friend?

Walk the Talk: Learning to Shut Up

Photo Credit:Creative Commons

Out of frustration we “give people a piece of our minds” or we “let it rip”. The convenience store clerk, the toll booth person, the umpire at your kid’s little league baseball game: no one is safe from your wrath when you feel like you have a point to be made. 

I am so guilty of this. 

Once, in my anger, hurt, and frustration with a pastor, I “let it rip” and told him everything I thought of him and the church staff. 

This was not done in love. It was a shouting match in the foyer of the church that cleared the room except for someone on staff there. 

At the time I felt justified. At the time I felt right. At the time, I felt slightly vindicated. 

I told him! 

In reality I was prideful, haughty, contentious, and just plain wrong. 

There were things that needed to “be fixed” in that church, but it was not my place to say so. 

Want to know why? 

Because I am not the HOLY GHOST! 

That’s right. I am not that still small voice that tells people what to do, where to go or how to change. That is God and it is His job to change people, not mine and not yours. 

I was wrong in what I did. 

Here is scripture to back that up: 

Proverbs 10:12 (Amplified) 

“Hatred stirs up contentions, but love covers all transgressions.” 

Proverbs 15:1 (ESV) 

“A soft answer turns away wrath, but a harsh word stirs up anger.” 

James 3:13-16 says it plainly: 

“Do you want to be counted wise, to build a reputation for wisdom? Here's what you do: Live well, live wisely, live humbly. It's the way you live, not the way you talk, that counts. Mean-spirited ambition isn't wisdom. Boasting that you are wise isn't wisdom. Twisting the truth to make yourselves sound wise isn't wisdom. It's the furthest thing from wisdom—it's animal cunning, devilish conniving. Whenever you're trying to look better than others or get the better of others, things fall apart and everyone ends up at the others' throats.” 

For me there are three things I need to think about before I speak up when angry. 

1. Is this a kingdom issue? 
2. Is this me just wanting to be right? 
3. What will my speaking do here? Clear things up or muddy the waters more? 

James says “It is the way you live, not the way you talk that counts”. I understand this is harder than is sounds. 

Holding our tongue takes practice and patience and a soft heart. 

Practice 

When learning something new: try, try, try again. Then, put a little “Umph” into the try and you will get “Triumph”! 

Patience 

Love keeps going, Love cares for others above even themselves, Love doesn't say “I want that”, Love doesn't strut around, Love doesn’t have a big head. Love doesn’t have to be right all the time, say “me first, or fly off the handle. Love doesn't “get even” or get excited when others fail. 

LOVE DOES take delight in the truth, PUTS UP WITH ANYTHING, Trusts God always and has a positive outlook on life and the world around them. Love does not look back, but keeps going to the end. 

I may have written this in plain English, but the bible said it first. 

Soft Heart 

Proverbs 16:23 (KJV) 

“The heart of the wise teacheth his mouth, and addeth learning to his lips.” 

Luke 6:35

“Good people have good things saved in their hearts. That’s why they say good things. But those who are evil have hearts full of evil, and that’s why they say things that are evil. What people say with their mouths comes from what fills their hearts.” 

So ask God to soften your heart. 

“Create in me a clean heart, O God; and renew a right spirit within me.” Psalms 51:10.

So instead of open mouth and insert foot, I want to close mouth and point foot in the direction that love walks in. How about you? 

Have you ever flown off the handle at someone and then had to go back and apologize?