No More Lies Part 5: "Shoulder Meet Chip"

Can I be Honest Here? 

This series is not the most comfortable to write. This is the half way mark in the ten part series and at this moment I do not know if I am going to make it all the way through. 

Writing these posts means I have to get really honest really fast and then let go of myself and let God do a new, and sometime uncomfortable pruning in me. In front of all of you. 

I have stared at this screen for the better part of ten minutes not knowing how to say what I need to say. 

Bandaid...just rip...it off!  

Lie #5 (it is a 2 part-er) 

"If people don't like me it is their problem. (flip the coin) If people don't like me it is my problem." 

I have struggled since childhood with this. I wanted to be liked, even loved, by everyone. Rejection (especially after my parent's divorce) was intolerable to me. I learned quickly (albeit wrongly) that if I immediately rejected someone who did not like me then it diminished  the effect of their original rejection of me. 

In reality it still hurt. It still made me question who I was, and ask "What was wrong with me"? Over the years I became calloused and hard. I began to expect the rejection before it would come. This hardness became integrated into my personality. 

I was a fighter, a survivor and no one was going to knock me down. Shoulder meet chip.  

Until little by little I realized that this behavior did not make me stronger, but instead it kept me a victim. 

Then I read this and it hit me in a visceral way: 

"I am not trying to please people. I want to please God. Do you think I am trying to please people? If I were doing that, I would not be a servant of Christ." Galatians 1:10 (CEV)

I Won't Win Any Popularity Contests

I am supposed to count it a blessing when people hate me for the gospel's sake.  But sadly, that is not the kind of rejection I have felt and dealt with the most in my life. 

I have dealt with the kind that says other people don't "get" me. I was rejected because I was too loud, too poor, too smart, too something. Or perhaps I was rejected because I wasn't enough, I didn't measure up, or I did not fit in.... 

Regardless the wounds that these rejection caused have been sore spots I have not been too willing for God to deal with. Every time they were poked I withdrew more and more. 

I did it with kids in school, and I did it with my parents. This fear of rejection and need to be accepted has hijacked my life, and robbed me of too much! 

I realize now that by doing this I let the enemy win. I give up the race and quit before I get to the finish line. I hand my life over to someone who would rather see me dead than happy and emotionally healthy. That is the kind of enemy we have. By doing this I was doubting the very character of God. 

But We Serve a BIG God! 

God loves. God gives. God heals. These are the things he does because they are his very character. God is not a man that he can lie.  

So when Jesus said "Come to Me, all you who labor and are heavy-laden and overburdened, and I will cause you to rest. [I will [a]ease and relieve and [b]refresh [c]your souls.]" Matthew 11:28 (AMP) I have to believe him!

I chose now, in this moment to believe him. 

I have been burdened and weighed down too long with the fear of rejection, with the need to be liked. I will not lie to myself anymore. I will not say "it is their problem" or "it is my problem" any more because I am giving it to Jesus. He is my counselor, my advocate, my healer, my savior and I trust in him. 

I will let the living water wash me like so many tears and I will be made new, loved, and COMPLETELY ACCEPTED by a God who paid the ultimate price for me to know him. I will bask in his love and wade in his grace and walk in his sufficiency. 

My Prayer

Father, I know you see my heart. It is bruised. It has been broken. Lord forgive me for not trusting you with my deepest pain. I offer it now. I trust you. I am counting on you in a way I never have before and I know you will surprise me yet again with your goodness. Heal my hurts Father. Teach me what I need to learn from them. I want to be truly free. Free in every way. I believe in you. Your promises are yes, and your promises are amen. Thank you for your faithfulness Lord. Amen. 

Join the Conversation: 

How do you deal with rejection?