The 4 Laws of a Happy Marriage

Want a Happy Marriage? 

Then follow the law...

Like anything else; physics, math, a State or a Nation, there are laws for a marriage. Follow the laws and the marriage will have a long happy life. Break the laws and there are consequences.

Genesis 2: 24-25 says: Therefore shall a man leave his father and his mother, and shall cleave unto his wife: and they shall be one flesh. And they were both naked, the man and his wife, and were not shamed. 

LAW 1: LEAVE 

No one wants a mama’s boy. Seriously! Cut the apron strings. If you are place more value and importance on what Mom says, does, or thinks than you do your wife, you are in for a very rocky road. 

We are called to leave mom and dad for a reason. Men, you are called to leave mom and dad because you have to stop being the child and start being a leader. 

For the husband is the head of the wife, even as Christ is the head of the church: and he is the savior of the body. Ephesians 5:23

Woman, you need to let go as well. Your mom is probably an awesome lady, but she does not need to know everything that goes on in your marriage! Your Daddy is a great guy, but you don’t need to let him be the most important man in your life anymore. That should be your spouse. 

Wives, submit yourselves unto your own husbands, as unto the Lord. Ephesians 5:22

Paul said something that I think is applicable to marriage here. In Philippians he said he forgets what is behind and reaches for what is ahead. Do the same thing in your marriage. 

LAW 2: CLEAVE 

Dictionary.com defines cleave as this: to adhere closely; stick; cling (usually followed by to ). to remain faithful 

This is the law of pursuit. Do not stop trying to chase each other. Just because you’re married does not mean you can give up the chase. Your spouse needs to feel valued, needs to feel special. You need to tell your spouse through your actions that if you had the choice, you would pick her/him again. 

Do things together. Get a hobby or pass time that you both enjoy and make a decision to spend that time together. This is a matter of priorities. 

Also, protect one another here. If you are chasing your spouse, that means they are too busy with you to notice the guy at work chasing her, or the woman at church (yes THAT happens) trying to get close to your man! There are people out there who would swoop in to break you up; not because of some Machiavellian scheme, but because Satan hates marriage and will do anything he can to destroy it! 

LAW 3: BECOME ONE FLESH 

This law has 2 parts: the physical and the spiritual. 

Physically, well, that is the fun part. Sex is good. God created it to be in a marriage with one man, one woman, loving one another in a physical and visceral way. 

There is holiness to it, a joy in it, and it should not be a task, a job, or a chore ladies. This is a fun, explorative, and exciting time that should not be shared with anyone other than your spouse. (The cleave law sneaks back in) 

Now for the spiritual part of this law: 

Spiritually unity is a must in a marriage. The two of you must be on the same page. I have already talked about how Satan wants to destroy the marriage. This is the reason why. When two people are in agreement and God is the focus of their marriage, then there is nothing they cannot withstand. 

Ecclesiastes 4:2 And if one prevail against him, two shall withstand him; and a threefold cord is not quickly broken. 

LAW 4: NO SHAME 

More on sex so let me break this down: 

1. There should be only you and your mate in the bed. 

2. There should be no porn in your marriage. 

3. There should only be exalting and exhortation of one another in the bedroom NO UGLY WORDS NEEDED! 

(If you want a frank discourse on what should go on in the marriage bed, I highly recommend The Good Girls Guild to Great Sex by Shelia Wray Gregorie. ) 

Sex is an announcement physically, spiritually, and emotionally, that you belong to one another. Why would you mistreat one another in this intimate time? Why does she have to say dirty words, or why are you calling her a female dog? What is romantic, special or sacred about that? NOTHING! 

Treat your marriage bed with the respect it deserves. It, like the temple in the bible your spouse’s body is the temple of the Holy Spirit. Would you defile the temple of God? Would you shout profanities at the Holy Spirit to make your next few moments more intense? 

1 Corinthians 3:16-17(KJV) Know ye not that ye are the temple of God, and that the Spirit of God dwelleth in you? If any man defile the temple of God, him shall God destroy; for the temple of God is holy, which temple ye are. 

These laws are God’s design for marriage. Like the law of gravity these laws just are. I did not make them up. Here they are in the bible for all to see. They are there because God designed us to not be alone: we are stronger together. 

Join the Conversation: 

In a wedding ceremony I have heard it read like this: “For this cause shall a man leave his father and mother” , so I ask you, is your marriage a “cause” worth fighting for?