Refine, Refinish and Restore

Refine and Refinish Me Oh God Photo Credit: Creative Commons

I was raised in church.

My heritage is generations of men and women called to minister, to teach, and to share.

I was taught to be mindful of what others thought. To mind my P's and Q's.

I feared missing the rapture and felt constantly torn between who I was and who I was expected to be.

I had moments with God. Glimpses of Grace. Touches of the Divine.

Encounters that shook me to my core. But we were like star crossed lovers, God and I.

Our timing seemed to be off.

I knew I was called, but I thought that meant I had to become another person.

The person I was? Not good enough.

The person I was? Too loud, too brash, too impulsive, too much of a tomboy.

There were moments I let hurt and offence rule my mind and soon I was taking the reigns away from God and living for myself.

Engulfed in self, I erred. I strayed. I walked away.

When my life fell apart I saw that as proof that God did not care- I used our distance as permission to spiral out of control. I was angry. Mad at God.

I was lonely and I had no idea how or if I ever wanted to reach out for God again.

But God, in His love and mercy was never far away. He sang His songs of Love over me. He called to me like a lover. He wooed me, seduced me with His faithfulness.

I repent. I cry. I surrender. I run back to my Father's arms.

I have moments with God. In the mornings my joy is full. His mercy is new.

I have peace. I do not fear missing His return because I feel Him now.

I begin to wake up. I begin to see He makes me new, refines and refinishes me like a fine piece of furniture. He brings out the grain that was there all along.

He shines me. He polishes. He favors me and sets me on display.

I am called, but now I know it is as easy as following my Love's voice: I know His voice and it is sweetness to my soul. I am who He made me to be. We are perfectly compatible. I trust Him.

Church is not the focus. People's opinions do not matter. He matters. I want my heart beat to be His Heart's Beat.

I want to be Me.

"Therefore if any man be in Christ, he is a new creature: old things are passed away; behold, all things are become new." 2 Corinthians 5:17 

Do not try to be anyone other than who you were designed to be. As we reach out and receive God's endless love and grace, we are changed: refined, refinished and restored. The same, but made new. Glorious and Perfected in Christ. 

What is your story? Leave your comments below.