Self-Esteem via Grace and Beauty

Original Artwork by Dayna Bickham, Photo by Dayna Bickham

We Are More Alike Than You Know

I love writing, and I love speaking, but teaching is a whole separate animal. I love it, I am just much newer to it and have so much more to learn there. I teach a class of some very beautiful and vibrantly different girls who range in age from eight to twelve. Some are outgoing, and some are  quiet and reserved.

Each girl may be different, but we all share the same struggles. As I stood before a class of twelve girls and two adults, I shared my struggle with accepting who God made me to be and watched as the message hit home with each of them. I wanted them to esteem themselves as the beauties they are, and embrace the grace of God instead of the world's version of self-esteem. 

I used art, a mirror and scripture to do it. 

The Lesson Breakdown

1) Design- We are planned with design in mind. God knew us before we were in our mother's womb. We are miracles of design and creation.  (Jeremiah 1:5 Psalms 139:14)

2) Create- Since God is THE Creator and we are made in His image, we are also creative beings made to do good works. (Genesis 1, Eph 2:10) 

3) Appreciate- That beauty is not defined by a mirror or popular opinion, but by what God made (each and every one of us) and by what is in our hearts. (Proverbs 31:30, 1 Samuel 16:7) 

4) Give Grace- Finally, I wanted those girls to begin to understand that grace is not just something God gives us, but something we can give ourselves. When we stand in front of that mirror and say "my teeth are too far apart", or "I don't like my hair", or "I am to fat" then we tell ourselves (God's creations) that we are not good enough. We would not tell someone else this lie, so why do we so easily believe it when we say it to ourselves?

When we give ourselves grace to make mistakes, to be different, to be ourselves, then the self-doubt and harsh lies become less important and the grace and love of God can become more real to us. After all, grace  is an extension of God's love for us, and His love is His character. Since we need to become more like Him, why not start off with a touch of grace? 

True Masterpieces 

Now I am no painter. I cannot (on most days) draw a circle, much less paint. But I wanted the girls to experience drawing/painting a self-portrait and seeing themselves in new ways. So after watching clever videos on YouTube I was able to walk them through a simple and fun way to teach the kids how to draw a self-portrait. I have to say the outcomes were better than I could have expected. 

Each girl focused on what was honest and true about them, not the negative things that they could have focused on. Each one created portraits of themselves that may never hang in galleries, but for all their childish brushstrokes and cartoon-esque technique they created moments of creative affirmation and embraced themselves as the masterpieces God designed. 

My self-portrait came out looking more like Heather Locklear than I meant, but I am okay with that. There is grace (and some humor- don't ask what the dots are- I have no idea!) in that. But I do smile. I do have great blue eyes and I am beautiful to my Father. This is the grace I can give myself. 

The girls gave themselves some grace when it came to their artistic abilities, but that small lesson makes room for them to grow in grace as they grow in the Lord. For me, this was the main objective of the project: to see ourselves and our abilities as masterpieces in progress: to embrace grace and trust in God's design for our self-esteem and not what the world says about beauty. We are well on our way. What about you? 

Join the Conversation

In what way can you give yourself some grace today? 

Subscribe

Like what you read? Want to read more? Sign up for our FREE newsletter and never miss another blog post. If you sign up today you will receive a link to my FREE children's eBook,The Gardener and the Sapling: A Modern Parable, your's to keep and share with your loved ones. Join our mailing list and you will get exclusive email content that never makes the blog. Sign up today by clicking the link below.

Subscribe to our newsletter

Lessons for a Gypsy

List out all you have done in your life and you may sound like me: a gypsy. I have been a waitress, a secretary, worked in retail, sold manufactured homes, drove a cab, was a professional Christmas tree decorator, an editorial assistant, a staff writer, a grant writer, a volunteer coordinator, a medical office manager, a mother, a wife, a friend, a parishioner and do you know what that qualifies me for? Me neither, but God does. What makes me qualified to do this blog? The world has one answer but God has another. Those He calls He qualifies. Let’s look at a perfect example: Joseph.

(Genesis 37-46 is the story of Joseph.)

The next to the last child, Joseph was loved dearly by his parents. His father looked on him with special favor, because he was the first child born of Rachel, who Jacob loved dearly. 

Now, this kid Joseph had a problem: he did not know when to shut up.

I so know what THAT is like, since I have the same problem on a regular basis.

Let’s face it, little brothers get picked on, and Joseph had eleven older brothers. Little brothers also like to prove themselves to their older siblings, and that is where Joseph’s real trouble all began.

Now some of you may say, no, wait, didn’t his trouble begin with a fancy coat? Well, an extravagant gift from his pops did bring him a lot of negative attention from the jealous brothers, but it was not the problem. The problem was Joseph’s pride, and pride is a heart issue.

If I can, please allow me this observation: when other people have a wrong opinion, or attitude and it is directed to us, we have to be mature enough to realize one thing- it is their problem. Our only responsibility is how we react to them, not how they feel about us, or what they think. We should not jump through hoops to please them or impress them. We should serve God, and be who He meant us to be, and let the rest be. (Matthew 6:33)

Joseph felt he needed to impress his brothers, to earn their respect by boasting about what God had showed him in a dream, instead of allowing God to work things out in His time. Let it go, and let God promote you.

Now- Joseph did have a dream: a God-given dream. One he did not, and could not, at the age he was (just a teen) understand fully. And that dream was eventually accomplished, but what a road Joseph had to travel to get prepared for the fullness of it.

He was sold into slavery, (Genesis 37:36) and Genesis 39:2 says “The Lord was with him”. He put his head down and worked, and he got promoted. Then the unthinkable happens.  He gets sexually harassed, and then falsely accused of rape. Joseph’s life quickly took a wild turn, but he held his own.

Remember: he had talked too much before, as a kid, but now he was silent. Joseph learned part of the lesson God had for him. He did not cry “victim” He did not seek “justice”: he was still, and to anyone looking on - it looked like he was not only guilty, but now not worth anything. Now he was just another convict, a nobody: not worthy of esteem, respect, or trust, but Genesis 39:21 says the Lord was with him.

Have you felt like this? Like the world sees you as less than? Or worse yet, have you felt like they didn’t see you at all? Have you felt like things just are not working in your favor, because they are not going according to your plan or timetable? Do not give up. Press on. Keep going. Keep serving. (Genesis 40:4)

Joseph did and eventually he not only got free of the holding pattern his life seemed to be in, but he was promoted to the second highest office in the land. He interpreted Pharaoh’s dream, and he gave God the glory. (Genesis 41:16)

 “Pursue the desire of your heart in the name of Jesus, giving glory to God in both the big and the small things, and you will be in the will and call of God for your life”- Pastor Jimmy Kirby.” (What do you Mean…?)

This is the promotion that leads to the eventual fulfillment of Joseph’s very first dream. Do you think Joseph thought his life would take so many turns before his dream was achieved? He was thrown into a well, sold into slavery- twice, falsely accused of a crime, imprisoned, forgotten and discounted as unworthy. BUT GOD! God was with him, and God is with us!   Do not doubt that! Do you think that while all this stuff was going on, Joseph saw the big picture? No, but God did.

So when you are locked in that cubicle, or imprisoned in circumstances you feel like are insurmountable, remember Joseph and the lessons we can take from him.

Lesson one for a gypsy: Don’t let our pride get in the way.  (Proverbs 16:18)

Lesson two for a gypsy: God is for us –so who can be against us?  (Romans 8:31)

Lesson Three for a gypsy: Serve no matter where you are. (Genesis 40:4)

Lesson Four for a gypsy: Give God the glory in all things, big and small. (Genesis 41:16)

As you travel through life my fellow gypsies, you are being prepared, so what lessons are you paying attention to? 

Be blessed and be a blessing and remember that prepare is a verb.