Self-Esteem via Grace and Beauty

Original Artwork by Dayna Bickham, Photo by Dayna Bickham

We Are More Alike Than You Know

I love writing, and I love speaking, but teaching is a whole separate animal. I love it, I am just much newer to it and have so much more to learn there. I teach a class of some very beautiful and vibrantly different girls who range in age from eight to twelve. Some are outgoing, and some are  quiet and reserved.

Each girl may be different, but we all share the same struggles. As I stood before a class of twelve girls and two adults, I shared my struggle with accepting who God made me to be and watched as the message hit home with each of them. I wanted them to esteem themselves as the beauties they are, and embrace the grace of God instead of the world's version of self-esteem. 

I used art, a mirror and scripture to do it. 

The Lesson Breakdown

1) Design- We are planned with design in mind. God knew us before we were in our mother's womb. We are miracles of design and creation.  (Jeremiah 1:5 Psalms 139:14)

2) Create- Since God is THE Creator and we are made in His image, we are also creative beings made to do good works. (Genesis 1, Eph 2:10) 

3) Appreciate- That beauty is not defined by a mirror or popular opinion, but by what God made (each and every one of us) and by what is in our hearts. (Proverbs 31:30, 1 Samuel 16:7) 

4) Give Grace- Finally, I wanted those girls to begin to understand that grace is not just something God gives us, but something we can give ourselves. When we stand in front of that mirror and say "my teeth are too far apart", or "I don't like my hair", or "I am to fat" then we tell ourselves (God's creations) that we are not good enough. We would not tell someone else this lie, so why do we so easily believe it when we say it to ourselves?

When we give ourselves grace to make mistakes, to be different, to be ourselves, then the self-doubt and harsh lies become less important and the grace and love of God can become more real to us. After all, grace  is an extension of God's love for us, and His love is His character. Since we need to become more like Him, why not start off with a touch of grace? 

True Masterpieces 

Now I am no painter. I cannot (on most days) draw a circle, much less paint. But I wanted the girls to experience drawing/painting a self-portrait and seeing themselves in new ways. So after watching clever videos on YouTube I was able to walk them through a simple and fun way to teach the kids how to draw a self-portrait. I have to say the outcomes were better than I could have expected. 

Each girl focused on what was honest and true about them, not the negative things that they could have focused on. Each one created portraits of themselves that may never hang in galleries, but for all their childish brushstrokes and cartoon-esque technique they created moments of creative affirmation and embraced themselves as the masterpieces God designed. 

My self-portrait came out looking more like Heather Locklear than I meant, but I am okay with that. There is grace (and some humor- don't ask what the dots are- I have no idea!) in that. But I do smile. I do have great blue eyes and I am beautiful to my Father. This is the grace I can give myself. 

The girls gave themselves some grace when it came to their artistic abilities, but that small lesson makes room for them to grow in grace as they grow in the Lord. For me, this was the main objective of the project: to see ourselves and our abilities as masterpieces in progress: to embrace grace and trust in God's design for our self-esteem and not what the world says about beauty. We are well on our way. What about you? 

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In what way can you give yourself some grace today? 

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The Purpose of Art

Photo Credit: Creative Commons

Choose Your Medium 

If we had to choose, just one thing to do that would make us feel happiness, and live a fulfilled life, what would it be?

Would you race cars, or climb mountains? Would you write novels, or sing ballads? What is that thing that creates passion and fire in your belly? Everyone has a "thing". For me, it is writing. For you it may be having children, or bringing awareness to a social need. You may have the talent and the desire to become a great visual artist.

Your medium may be emerging, or it may be set in stone, but what you sculpt out of your life is what we want to focus on now.

Create or Stagnate 

Can you be happy in a nine to five with demands and schedules and a cubical? Will putting your kids in daycare and spending eight to 16 hours a day with people you barely like get you where or what you want?

What matters? The nine to five, the hustle and bustle of it all? Or the moments that grab our gut and draw our heart strings? The works of pure perfection that take our breath away?

We need novels that leave us breathless with sobbing because we lived in the moments and spaces between the lines written there. Music that grabs us and shakes us to our core. We are creative people that need creative outlets because we long to express more.

We want to be more than the grey automatons society tries to turn us into, we long for color and depth, and breadth and vision. We long for singularity of voice and attention for our endeavors. We want more than pats on the back: we want someone to see us.

See us. To know us like no one else.

What We Long For

We look for that fulfillment everywhere. It was not found in the pursuit of pleasure. Pleasure lasts for a season. Even our art lacked real complete joy. Because there was no reason to it. There was no drive, We created and wrote, and sculpted, and sang for the sake of doing so. To say we were different, to draw attention to our pain, our creativity, to our expressions of art, and because of our glory seeking - we missed where the real glory lies.

There was no value there because there was no foundation. Lost in the wind, being blown away by talent alone is not enough. Art, real art, must say something. Art must be about the discovery of who we are. Individuals that need something and someone greater than ourselves.

We need Inspiration. 

When some artist look for Inspiration, they look to nature, and think, "this must be the meaning of it all". Then some look for Inspiration in the stars and say, "the universe must hold the key." Others look to themselves and spiral into a vacuous self-obsession.

Why not look for Inspiration in the One who made the beauty of nature. Who fashioned the stars with His very hands? The One who is a Master Potter, whose very workmanship is you.

"God has made us what we are. In Christ Jesus, God made us to do good works, which God planned in advance for us to live our lives doing." Ephesians 2:10 NCV

Great Art is not just beautiful, but it reflects back to us the pain, the joy, the beauty of all we are, and all our Creator is. It shows our brokenness and it inspires us to create moments of peace, and joy, and love. Bottled up, jarred,. smeared on canvas, carved from stone or written in pen and ink: our lives are meant to reflect the glory of God. 

If our lives feel incomplete, perhaps it is because we have, for too long, worshiped the creation, rather than the Creator. When we change this our Art becomes an expression of love and service rather than a self-absorbed debacle. 

So, forget the different drummer, and stop leaning on what you have always thought was driving you to create and remember that we were made in His image and He made us to create. He gave the gifts and the talents. 

What are you doing with them?  

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Calling All Artists! Contest Announcement.

You Could Be Published!  

Right now I am so close to publishing my first book, but I need one key element: Cover Art. This is where you come in. Your art could be chosen to be on the cover of a book: my book, The Purpose of Chosen. If this sounds familiar, it should. This was a series I did this year here on the blog. 

I have taken it and made it into a short and encouraging book that will go on sale at Amazon.com soon. 

The picture below is what I found as inspiration for the graphic I made for the series. It is from the Manga Bible and it is copyrighted. Take a look at what I was going for and perhaps you will get inspired too! 

This book is based on the story of David and Goliath and focuses on who we are, that we are meant for more in life than the status quo, and how to overcome the giants in our lives. 

Here is what people are saying: 

"The Purpose of Chosen calls to the depths of your heart to step out of fear and into faith. Dayna takes you on a journey to live a life of passion and purpose rooted in God's power developed through life's ordinary moments. You'll walk away empowered by grace and energized to capture God's best for your life". – Shannon Milholland, blogger and author

"In The Purpose of The Chosen, Dayna Bickham quiets the lies I've believed most of my life... those lies that say I'm not enough. Sharing the story of a young shepherd boy named David chosen by God to slay a giant named Goliath, Dayna reminds me that I, too, have been chosen by God for His good work. The lies of "not enough" are quieted in the truth of God's love." – Heidi Kreider, author The Secret of Counting Gifts

Here are all the details of the contest: 

• Deadline: 11:59 PM on October 9th. (yes that is quick, but if you are a serious artist, I know you can do it!) 
• Submissions should be in jpg format and submitted to ayearinthespirituallife@hotmail.com 
• If multiple entries are received, then the choice is up to you, my readers. 
• Entries will be placed on A Year in the Spiritual Life Facebook Page 
• Official Voting will begin October 10, 2012 and run through October 14, 2012. 

In order to vote, you must first "like" the page, but other than that you will have to drive voters (also known as supporters like friends and family) to the site to vote.

The winner will have his/her artwork featured on the eBook cover of my book, and replicated on books that are purchased on demand at Amazon.com No financial compensation will be awarded.

There is no second prize, but I will feature all art here on the blog after the contest is concluded.

The Legal Stuff

By entering this contest you are granting permission to display and use your art for the purposes of this contest and a book cover. You will retain rights to your art, will be credited as the artist for your contribution and will be able to reuse and resale your art as you see fit. The winner of this contest grants permission for Dayna Bickham, Amazon.com, and CreateSpace (publisher) to reproduce, edit, change and replicate this art as they see fit for the purpose of the sale, printing, and promotion of this book, The Purpose of Chosen.

 Time is ticking....get to work!

Join the Conversation: 

Do you know someone who is a great artist? Then copy the link to this post and share it with them via email, Facebook, or Twitter. The more the merrier! 

Five Tips for Finding Your Way (In Life)

Photo Credit: Creative Commons courtesy of artneuveauinart.org 

“Cat: Where are you going?

Alice: Which way should I go?

Cat: That depends on where you are going.

Alice: I don’t know.

Cat: Then it doesn’t matter which way you go.”

― Lewis Carroll, Alice in Wonderland

Ever felt like Alice?

The next steps can be daunting.

Not knowing what is around the bend may seem worse than knowing if it was something terrible.

I understand. I think we have all had that moment.

Want to know the secret to getting past that panic moment; that horrible moment of not knowing and thinking, “what now”?

Be Still.

Not the answer you were looking for? I know. I don’t always follow this advice either, but since my Father said it, I know it must be right.

“Let be and be still, and know (recognize and understand) that I am God. I will be exalted among the nations! I will be exalted in the earth!” Psalms 46:10 AMP

Life Can Make You Dizzy

When I was little I loved spinning round and round until I felt dizzy. The breeze in my face and the sound of the wind whipping around me as I sliced the through the air buffeted my senses. It was as close as I could get to flying. But, as fun as this may have been, there was one problem: I could not safely navigate the room or the yard (whichever I may have been in) after I stopped spinning.

It was only after I got still a while that I could safely move.

Sometimes that is what life is like. 

Crazy, hectic, spinning out of control and threatening to make us a little dizzy…maybe even a little queasy. When we get still, take quiet moments with God and just get alone with Him, then we can maneuver our lives with more grace and wisdom. Then the next steps don't seem daunting, they seem like a natural thing as we follow Jesus.

Five Tips for Finding Your Way 

1) Shut off all social media (phones, computer, TV)

2) Put on some quiet worship or classical music (I love this one right now!)

3) Ask God to begin to strip away the mental and emotional grime. 

4) Meditate on a scripture, just one; you do not have to be a Bible scholar. (Psalms is a good place to start)

5) Ask God to speak. Don’t pray in the traditional sense, but just listen. God will speak to your heart. (The Bible says He sings over you!)

This patterned time with God allows you to get still and gives Him the room to speak. Now finding your way becomes a matter of learning to hear and obey the still small voice of God, not striking out blindly in any direction that seems good at the time.

“He who has ears to hear, let him be listening and let him consider and perceive and comprehend by hearing.” Matthew 11:15 AMP

When we focus on the Way Maker, the way becomes clear. 

Join the Conversation: Have you ever felt like Alice? What did you do?

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Design Dabble or Do

I dabble.

I dabble in art, pretending there is talent there when there is not. I love to sculpt. It is therapeutic for me. It allows me to slow down and just be creative in a different way than writing.

Often, I begin to believe my own press and think of myself as a “sculptor” but I am not. I am a dabbler.

Sometimes I see a beautiful work of art and wonder to myself “why can’t I do something this amazing?”

Art for art’s sake is usually not good art. Usually it looks more like a craft project from summer camp more than something a curator of the modern art museum would put in the sculpture garden. I was not made to be a great artist. It is okay that I say this, because it is true. 

Some of my attempts at Art.

So why do I sculpt? I do it for me. It is the same with writing.

I will win no Pulitzers. I will not appear on The Today Show celebrating my award winning book turning into an award winning manuscript or tween movie.

I write for me. I write because I was made to. I write because when I wake, my mind is turning over phrases and sentences. I write because I am a writer. I was designed with this in mind. Pen and paper are almost holy to me: they are the tools God gave to me to do what He called me to do.

I am a Writer.

You are what? A singer? A dancer? A musician? A photographer? A ________?

Why do you sing? Why do you dance? Why do you play? Why do you capture the world in pictures? Why do you ________.

Artistic By Design

You were designed to create. After all, we are made in God’s image. He is a Master Creator. He drew the stars and the sunsets. He crafted the fish of the sea and the birds of the air. He sculpted us, and then He breathed His Life into us. His Creative Force is part of our very DNA. We are made to make stuff. 

You may think, I don’t have a talent like that. Do you cook for your family? Do you sew? Do you create creative ways to teach your children new skills or ideas? Then you have a talent. You just have not learned to value it yet.

God created you for a reason and your gift, that thing that makes you spark, is there for a purpose.

“For I know the plans I have for you,” says the Lord. “They are plans for good and not for disaster, to give you a future and a hope. Jeremiah 29:11

“Listen to me, you islands; hear this, you distant nations: Before I was born the Lord called me; from my mother’s womb he has spoken my name. He made my mouth like a sharpened sword, in the shadow of his hand he hid me; he made me into a polished arrow and concealed me in his quiver. He said to me, you are my servant, Israel, in whom I will display my splendor. ” Isaiah 49:1-3

Now Do

Do what you were made for. Do what you were designed for. Do not doubt. Start where you are. Serve where you are. Create where you are. There is purpose in you and a purpose for you. Be faithful and just begin. 

What is your gift? Share with us in the comments section below.