A Friend that Sticks Closer than a Sister

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When Friendship Dies

I had a friend, who I thought would be with me through thick and thin.

It was more like mediocre and thin.

I thought we were like sisters. We finished each other's sentences.

We laughed at the same things, we even disciplined our kids in the same way.

Things began to change about a year ago when I began pursuing God more and she pursued Him less. Running in opposite directions we covered a lot of ground that created the gap between us. I reached out one day, and there was no one there.

Instead her marriage was on the rocks, she was a partying machine, she was angry at me for dropping our friendship, and bitter with God.

I cannot tell you how sad I have been about the whole situation, because loosing someone is hard. She may be alive, but I mourn for her and our dead friendship nonetheless.

A Friend That Sticks Closer than A Sister

As we pursue God with all our heart, our soul, and mind things will change. Spending time in the Father's presence will create a new creature with a new heart and a renewed mind.

If I am honest with myself and with you, it was a friendship that was not healthy for me spiritually. We fed off of each other more than we fed off the goodness and instructions of God. I was too wrapped up in what she thought,and in what she said to have room to pursue or listen to God.

I understand why this friendship needed to die, but it leaves me sad too.

But I have hope.

I have Hope that God has a plan and a purpose. There are moments I feel sad about this friend, but then I think of all God has given me in exchange.

I am happier, healthier, stronger, and firmer in my faith. My marriage is even better, because I spend less time running around with her and more time in my home with my husband. My kids are not ignored because I spend more time with her than I did with them.

Why am I telling you this on Sister to Sister Saturday?

Because you may have a relationship right now that you know needs to change. (You won't have to think about it, this person's face is probably already in your head as you read this.)

As you try and draw closer to God, there are things and sometimes people you have to leave behind. He is a holy God and He longs to make you into the image of His son.

I do not want you to concentrate on what you will lose though. I want you to concentrate on what you will gain.

Matthew 10:39 "If you try to save your life, you will lose it. But if you give it up for me, you will surely find it." (CEV)

Join the conversation: 

Have you ever walked away from a friendship before? What did you learn from that?  

Friends Through Thick and Thin

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Are your relationship ready to go through thick and thin or mediocre and thin? 

Think about that.

 Mediocre and thin. 

As we have explored friendship in the last few weeks, we have looked at ways to Be a Better Friend and what characteristics we look for in friends. What about the quality of the friendships you already have? 

Greater love hath no man than this that a man lay down his life for his friends. John 15:13  

What does laying aside and laying down our lives look like? What does it mean to give above and beyond ourselves to others? The Bible says to prefer others above ourselves. 

What Does A Quality Relationship Look Like?

There are three things a quality relationship will do. 

1. A quality relationship adds to us: it is not about the "take, take, take", but the give and bless. It gives emotionally, physically and spiritually. 

2. A quality relationship is not stressful. Save the drama for your mama! It should be easy to hang with your friends and being yourself should be natural. If you feel on eggshells all the time, something is wrong! 

3. A quality relationship is secure. There are moments in every relationship when people disagree. A quality relationship allows room for peaceful disagreement and swift resolution to problems. 

In The Message Ephesians 4:3 says this: “…but steadily, pouring yourselves out for each other in acts of love, alert at noticing differences and quick at mending fences.” 

These kinds of people add value to our lives. They are not full of drama and angst, but are strong, secure and giving. 

We should be a good friend to others as well.

“A man that hath friends must show himself friendly, and there is a friend that sticks closer than a brother” Proverbs 18:24

Life is not all about what you can get, but what you can give. If you want relationships that last, ones with real meaning and bolster you in times of trouble, then you need to be a good friend. 

Examine your relationships. Are they one-sided? Do some things need to change? What can you do to make them better? By examining our friendships we can build relationships that will last through the thick and the thin. 

No more mediocre relationships for me. What about you? 

Are you a good friend? 

Share your comments below.