Send in the Clowns: An Act of Recovery

Photo by Dayna Bickham

My Pity Party

Just over a week ago I sat on a fountain, sharing my story with a new friend in the heart of Antigua, Guatemala.

This mission trip was a long time coming, and God had sent me on the most circuitous route to get there, but there I was.

Doubting.

I doubted myself, I doubted God, I doubted my call, I doubted my abilities, and I doubted my heart.

Doubt sucks the life out of you. It steals your joy. Sitting on that fountain, I was completely self-absorbed and focused on myself.

Totally not where God wanted my focus - at all.

I was supposed to be listening for His voice and looking through His eyes. To see the heart of the Father, we have to look for His children. Since I was not looking, God decided to send in the clowns.

Ladies and Gentlemen....

The sound of this cry "señoras y señores, hoy en día para su entretenimiento, artistas de rendimiento impecable", which means "ladies and gentlemen, today for your entertainment, artists of impeccable achievement" caught my attention and brought my self-absorbed story telling to a halt.

Soon, I saw the bright shining and very made-up faces of three beautiful children. They began to act out a slap stick play full of comedic timing and over 400 lines of dialog. The oldest "clown" was about nine. The little fellow pictured here was about five, and the other was about seven.

They were amazing artists, full of passion and purpose. They were creative and focused. They came to entertain and entertain they did.

I gave them a few dollars. I took a few pictures. I thought that was all. But then, as they faded into the crowd, and my mind began to focus again on myself, I heard God whisper.

You are.... 

I had wondered why I was there. I had wondered if I was qualified. God reminded me that 13 months ago my heart cried out to Him because I wanted to help other missionaries. His answer was to give me the idea for this blog. I did not understand it then. I thought that a small blog in a remote corner of the world wide web would reach a few people, but did not fathom the fullness of God's plan.

In the last year, He had groomed me and moved me and yes, even set me up, to be in Antigua at that moment, and had I not spent the last year learning to write and seeking out people like Jeff Goins, I would have never learned of the opportunity to go to Guatemala. I would have been on my couch in Texas watching the 49ers lose the Super Bowl.

Instead He whispered "You are a missionary." 

My heart began to recover a dream in that moment. One I thought I had lost with time and bad choices years ago. I am a missionary.

"Also I heard the voice of the Lord, saying, Whom shall I send, and who will go for us? Then said I, Here am I; send me." Isaiah 6:8

 When We Don't "Get It"

God is in the business of redemption. He redeems us, our dreams, even the time. I did not understand 13 months ago how a blog was an answer to a prayer "Lord, help me to give more to missions." I did not know that the pain and the struggles of sharing my thoughts and prayers and devotions with you would lead me back to a dream that I had as a young girl. To be honest, I had forgotten I had the dream...until that moment in Antigua.  

God excavates what life buries and He reclaims us for His purpose...even when we doubt. 

So if you find yourself in the middle of a journey, and you can't quite see the destination, don't worry. Trust God. He is working all things together for your good and His glory. 

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What thing has God redeemed for you?

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Easter's Best

It is Easter and clothes are flying off the racks. 

Countless people are shining shoes they wear only on special occasions, and little boys are being tortured with ties, hats, and Oxford sweaters in 85 degree weather. 

Girls are giggling over their Easter baskets. Moms are fretting over the Sunday ham that might begin to burn if the preacher goes on too long. Dads are wondering why on a perfect spring day they got up so early and it wasn’t for a round of golf?

Somehow we have lost what this season is. 

This is our true Thanksgiving. 

A time when we remember what Jesus did. A time to remember He chose to lay down His life. 

He laid it down in the Garden when He prayed for God to take the cup from Him. When Jesus said “Nevertheless”, what He meant was I will die for ________. (Your name goes here) 

He laid it down again when instead of calling angles to rescue Him from the cross, He took the punishment anyway. He laid down His life when He said “It is Finished”. 

Thank God He did not stop there. 

He laid down His Life, but He had the power to take it up again. Rising from the dead, the redemption of Man was complete. He made a way for man to die a spiritual death once and become alive in Him forever. 

This man was fully man, or the sacrifice He made would have been in vain, AND He was fully God. God’s one and only Son: the spotless lamb. 

This weekend does give us a chance to make new family memories, and to watch and delight in our children. 

Yet, if we do not focus on what Christ did, what is the point? 

Take a moment with your family, away from the church, and talk about the moment when you realized it should have been you on that cross. 

Take communion together. Pray with one another.

Share with your loved ones the message of the gospel and see the power of the Passion Story change their hearts and lives. 

Live Easter like you really believe what you say you believe.

The clothes are nice. The dinner is great. The reason for this weekend is Jesus and His ultimate sacrifice for you and I. He came to fulfill the goal of His father: the redemption of man. 

Do not lose sight of that. God gave His best- now give your's. 

Four Gardens - God's Plan for Fellowship

More on Gardens

There used to be a song we sang when I was growing up that said "I come to the garden alone, while the dew is still on the roses". This song and the post yesterday has me thinking again about Gardens. This time though I want to talk about four very special gardens.

The Garden of Eden

The garden of Eden was created by God. It was His original plan. Protected, secluded, it was made for man to dwell in so He could fellowship with them in the cool of the evening. Here man missed the mark, they sinned and forever after that were made to earn from their labor everything God had automatically provided before. Now they would face hardships and pain. This garden was lost forever.

Garden of the Sepulcher

The Garden of the Sepulchre was the garden that held the tomb Jesus was buried in. Here Jesus redeemed the first garden by his death, burial, and resurrection. Here he rose to greet the morning and found a woman completely unsuitable by the worlds standard to be the first one trusted with the life changing gospel:Jesus is alive! 

A woman partook of the fruit that separated man from God in the first garden and now a woman was bearing the first fruits of this garden. The first Adam missed the mark and became separated from God forever, the second Adam, Jesus, made a way for God to be reunited with man forever. This place held the redemption of man as much as the cross, if not more because this in this place Jesus had resurrected!

The Garden in Heaven

The garden in heaven: two trees separated by the river of God. One one side the first tree of life, bearing fruit and on the other side a second tree of life, bearing fruit. Each tree bore 12 fruits, 1 a month. God's plan completed. We will rule and reign with Him in heavenly places. We will stand before the throne, from which the river of God flows and see the plan of God fulfilled in those two trees.

Your Secret Garden

We are talking about gardens. In biblical times they were places of solitude and peace. Walled or hedged in these places were protected from the outside world. 

Here all of your senses were engaged: sight, sound, touch, smell, and taste. You could see the lush greens and hear the sounds of birds and babbling brooks. You could touch the flowers and smell and taste the fruits of the garden.

Jesus sought a garden (Gethsemane)  to pray to seek God. Here He solidified His resolve and honed His purpose. This is something we should do: find our secret garden. It may not be a green space, but it should be a space that engages your senses, that evokes tranquility and allows you time alone with God. 

That is all God has ever desired: time alone with you, walking in a "Garden" together. A place where personal fellowship and worship are the focus. 

It was God's design in Genesis, it was good enough for Jesus, and we should follow this plan too.

Question: Do you have a place you like to go that is like this for you- your "garden"? Share with us you favorite place to be alone with God.