Send in the Clowns: An Act of Recovery

Photo by Dayna Bickham

My Pity Party

Just over a week ago I sat on a fountain, sharing my story with a new friend in the heart of Antigua, Guatemala.

This mission trip was a long time coming, and God had sent me on the most circuitous route to get there, but there I was.

Doubting.

I doubted myself, I doubted God, I doubted my call, I doubted my abilities, and I doubted my heart.

Doubt sucks the life out of you. It steals your joy. Sitting on that fountain, I was completely self-absorbed and focused on myself.

Totally not where God wanted my focus - at all.

I was supposed to be listening for His voice and looking through His eyes. To see the heart of the Father, we have to look for His children. Since I was not looking, God decided to send in the clowns.

Ladies and Gentlemen....

The sound of this cry "señoras y señores, hoy en día para su entretenimiento, artistas de rendimiento impecable", which means "ladies and gentlemen, today for your entertainment, artists of impeccable achievement" caught my attention and brought my self-absorbed story telling to a halt.

Soon, I saw the bright shining and very made-up faces of three beautiful children. They began to act out a slap stick play full of comedic timing and over 400 lines of dialog. The oldest "clown" was about nine. The little fellow pictured here was about five, and the other was about seven.

They were amazing artists, full of passion and purpose. They were creative and focused. They came to entertain and entertain they did.

I gave them a few dollars. I took a few pictures. I thought that was all. But then, as they faded into the crowd, and my mind began to focus again on myself, I heard God whisper.

You are.... 

I had wondered why I was there. I had wondered if I was qualified. God reminded me that 13 months ago my heart cried out to Him because I wanted to help other missionaries. His answer was to give me the idea for this blog. I did not understand it then. I thought that a small blog in a remote corner of the world wide web would reach a few people, but did not fathom the fullness of God's plan.

In the last year, He had groomed me and moved me and yes, even set me up, to be in Antigua at that moment, and had I not spent the last year learning to write and seeking out people like Jeff Goins, I would have never learned of the opportunity to go to Guatemala. I would have been on my couch in Texas watching the 49ers lose the Super Bowl.

Instead He whispered "You are a missionary." 

My heart began to recover a dream in that moment. One I thought I had lost with time and bad choices years ago. I am a missionary.

"Also I heard the voice of the Lord, saying, Whom shall I send, and who will go for us? Then said I, Here am I; send me." Isaiah 6:8

 When We Don't "Get It"

God is in the business of redemption. He redeems us, our dreams, even the time. I did not understand 13 months ago how a blog was an answer to a prayer "Lord, help me to give more to missions." I did not know that the pain and the struggles of sharing my thoughts and prayers and devotions with you would lead me back to a dream that I had as a young girl. To be honest, I had forgotten I had the dream...until that moment in Antigua.  

God excavates what life buries and He reclaims us for His purpose...even when we doubt. 

So if you find yourself in the middle of a journey, and you can't quite see the destination, don't worry. Trust God. He is working all things together for your good and His glory. 

Join the Conversation

What thing has God redeemed for you?

Subscribe

If you like what you read here and want to get more great content, then click the "Subscribe to our Newsletter" link below. Fill out that short form and confirm your subscription by checking your email. It is as easy as that! I won't sell your info and I won't spam you. Oh- and I will give you the PDF version of my children's story "The Gardener and the Sapling" for FREE. You can print it up and read it to your little ones, or share it with someone you love. The message in it is timeless!

Subscribe to our newsletter

The Gap Between Me and My Calling

The Work is Hard

Have you ever felt like the thing God has asked you to do is too big, too hard, or just too much? 

Been there, felt that. 

The other night, in the midst of finding out more about what we will be doing on my mission's trip, I began to have this thought: "what are you doing? you have nothing to offer this group or the people you are going to serve" and I began to meditate on that. I began to wonder what I would wear on the trip and how I would get there since I have not raised all the funds yet. I worried, and I let fear begin to take root. 

Finally, after ranting to my husband all the fears and doubts I had I asked for Randy to pray, because I had gotten so worked up with worry that I did not even know where to begin or how to begin. He began by thanking God for the gifts and the talents in me, then He moved to thanking God for the provision He gives when we are not enough on our own. 

Have I mentioned how wise that husband of mine is? 

The Truth of the Matter

We will never be enough on our own. If we were we would not ache for something or someone more than ourselves. We would never cry out for God. In our human arrogance and finite wisdom we often confuse calling with equipping. 

God has called me and you to do the work of His kingdom, and often the job is bigger than the skills we bring to the table. That gap between our ability and the job He has called us to is the place where His glory will shine the most. This is where the only answer to the questions of "How?" "When?" and "Who?" are found in God: His provision and His timing. 

"Trust in the Lord with all your heart and lean not on your own ways of thinking" (author paraphrase) is what the Psalmist said. God says His "ways are not our ways" and that He will "Make ways" for us to travel that we did not know, and "lead us" ways we did not expect. 

Real trust is knowing that in my weakness God gives me strength. Real trust is believing what God says is true: He never leaves us or forsakes us. He is our provider. 

Proof in the Morning

When I woke up the next morning it was to a phone call from a relative I see maybe once or twice a year. God used her to remind me of His love and provision. She has clothes for me that will be perfect for the trip. As I talked with her on the phone she told me a story that moved me and reminded me that God does hear our prayers. He loves us like no one else can and He moves and works on our behalf not so we will have things, but that we will trust more. 

When Jesus calmed the stormy waters the disciples were amazed. He said "Oh ye of little faith". I have been so guilty of "little faith". Yet, God is continually faithful toward me, so why do I doubt? In the gap between where I am and where God is taking me is an adventure of epic proportions. There He will do things in new and fresh ways and always fulfill His promises as I run after Him. 

I am reminded of Matthew 6:33. "Seek first God’s kingdom and what God wants. Then all your other needs will be met as well." (New Century Version)

Join the Conversation

What ways has God shown you His love and provision in your life? 

Help Send Me

If you want to help be part of God's provision and sow some great seeds of faith, join me by donating to the mission's trip to Guatemala. The button is up in the top right corner or you can click this link: http://www.gofundme.com/A-Mission-2-Get-Wrecked 

Every little bit helps and all donated money goes to the Mission's Trip. 

Subscribe

Like what you read? Want to keep up with new content? Sign up for Free. I won't sell your information or spam you and you can get a free copy of my Children's e-book "The Gardener and the Sapling". 

Subscribe to our newsletter

Little Miss Scatterbrained

Copyright: Roger Hargreaves Mr. Men and Little Miss

Scattered

I found myself stressed, anxious and on edge for the last few days. I just wanted these feelings to go away! 

The thing I realized some time last night is this: I had not really prayed or gotten in God's presence in the last few days either. 

So I began to worship. I began to sing and lift my hands and my heart in praise. God is so good. I began to mull over Luke 12:26-28. 

"If ye then be not able to do that thing which is least, why take ye thought for the rest? Consider the lilies how they grow: they toil not, they spin not; and yet I say unto you, that Solomon in all his glory was not arrayed like one of these. If then God so clothe the grass, which is to day in the field, and to morrow is cast into the oven; how much more will he clothe you, O ye of little faith?"

In the last month I have been more obsessed with worry over money, bills, presents, and other little things than I ought to be. In reality, God met every need we had and provided above and beyond every time He moved on someone's heart to give toward my mission's trip.  

It Ain't no Thang

Money is a little thing. Since I have little of it, then I have a choice. I can either choose to obsess over what I do not have and worry about what I am going to do to get things I do not really need or I can trust that my Father would never leave me begging bread and that the least of the kingdom issues (MONEY) is taken care of. 

After all God is the perfect Father and provider. He provides according to His riches in glory. 

I use money as an example of how little things can take over our minds and edge out our faith. Song of Solomon calls these things "little foxes". The things we think on are the things that begin to take predominance in our lives. That is why Paul said this to the church in Philipi. 

"Finally, brethren, whatsoever things are true, whatsoever things are honest, whatsoever things are just, whatsoever things are pure, whatsoever things are lovely, whatsoever things are of good report; if there be any virtue, and if there be any praise, think on these things."

Paul knew the importance of our thought life. We need the mind of Christ if we are to live the lives of over-comers  If we want to say "I am more than a conqueror in Christ Jesus" and it be true then we must train our minds to focus on the goodness of God, not the bigness of our needs. 

I had spent way too much time building my unbelief instead of building my faith because I was focused on the wrong thing. 

"As a man thinks in his heart, so is he..." Proverbs 23:7

So I will begin to sweep out the polluted thinking and meditate on the pureness and goodness of my God. His mercy is new everyday.   I will run off the little foxes that try to sneak in and steal the fruit God is growing in my life. I will focus on doing what God has called me to and let Him work out the rest. 

"For I know the thoughts that I think toward you, saith the Lord, thoughts of peace, and not of evil, to give you an expected end." Jeremiah 29:11

I recently heard someone say this: "Worry and anxiety are you meditating on the wrong things. Instead of you thinking on God's goodness, you are focusing on your lack." 

How true this is. 

My Prayer

Father, forgive me for losing sight of You and your goodness. I know you are more than enough. Your grace is sufficient. Father help me to be about your business without getting sidetracked and busy with the details that I should be trusting You for. You are good. You are faithful. Your love never fails. Have your way in my life. Rule and reign in my heart. Lead me by Your ways, and show me what it is to love like you. In the name of Jesus. Amen. 

Join the Conversation

Have you ever battled worry and anxiety? What helped you? 

The Shield of Faith: More than a Crutch

Fulfilled by Faith

There is something satisfying about faith. 

Many have called faith or religion a "crutch". I am okay with this. Do you know why? Because we are weak. We need someone, something bigger than ourselves, to believe in. Yet faith is so much more than a crutch. 

"Trust in the Lord with all thine heart; and lean not unto thine own understanding." Proverbs 3:5

There is No Comparison

Atheist believe in science. They look into microscopes at the creation and forget about the Creator. I choose to look to and lean on the Creator and enjoy, even marvel, at His creation. 

Some believe in power. They seek it like birds of prey. They live, breathe, hunt, for power. The problem is there is always a bigger bird out there, hunting them. 

Some people seek money. They lean and rely on money. Money that changes value depending on the market, the country, the time of year and even the person who has it. They seek money that they cannot spend in multiple lifetimes and wonder why they are never satisfied. 

Only God never changes. In Him our weakness is exchanged for His strength. There is power in His name. He owns cattle on a thousand hills, so money does not matter. He is the one in whom we rely. He is the one worthy of pursuit and worthy of our trust. 

This faith is what sustains us. It protects us. It shields us. 

"Finally, my brethren, be strong in the Lord, and in the power of his might. Put on the whole armor of God, that ye may be able to stand against the wiles of the devil. For we wrestle not against flesh and blood, but against principalities, against powers, against the rulers of the darkness of this world, against spiritual wickedness in high places. Wherefore take unto you the whole armor of God, that ye may be able to withstand in the evil day, and having done all, to stand. Stand therefore, having your loins girt about with truth, and having on the breastplate of righteousness; And your feet shod with the preparation of the gospel of peace; Above all, taking the shield of faith, wherewith ye shall be able to quench all the fiery darts of the wicked. And take the helmet of salvation, and the sword of the Spirit, which is the word of God: Praying always with all prayer and supplication in the Spirit, and watching thereunto with all perseverance and supplication for all saints"

Strong's Concordance says faith means this: belief, conviction, trust, holy fervor, and fidelity. Faith in God's ability to take care of you, of your circumstances, of your enemies, of your finances, of your loved ones, of your health, and anything else you may face makes the lies the enemy whispers and sometimes shouts suddenly become quiet. 

Even with the smallest faith, great things are possible. With trust that God is true, that He never changes, that His promises about you are YES AND AMEN, and that you have a purpose, then there is no attack that can stand. 

“Because you have little faith,” he said. “I assure you that if you have faith the size of a mustard seed, you could say to this mountain, ‘Go from here to there,’ and it will go. There will be nothing that you can’t do.” Matthew 17:20 CEB 

The Stand

One day I know that I will sit in heaven, surrounded by the ones that were before me, and I will hear their  stories of faith and they will wait with baited breath to hear mine. When miracles were just moments when faith in God was met by His promise in His timing.

When I will sit with men and women written about in Hebrews 11 and will hear their stories from the ones who lived it.

"What more can I say? I would run out of time if I told you about Gideon, Barak, Samson, Jephthah, David, Samuel, and the prophets. Through faith they conquered kingdoms, brought about justice, realized promises, shut the mouths of lions, put out raging fires, escaped from the edge of the sword, found strength in weakness, were mighty in war, and routed foreign armies." Hebrews 11:32-34 

For now, I will stand. I will stand against an enemy that is out to steal, kill and destroy. I will stand in the gap for the lost, and cry like the one in the desert saying:  "Call on the name of the Lord all you who want to be saved!"

I will stand with my brothers and sisters in Christ. Praying, believing for their miracles. I will believe for their financial, physical, spiritual, and emotional freedom. I will stand.

Even if circumstances say give up, I will stand. Even if the battle rages around me, I will stand. I will stand when I am tired, I will stand when others fall, and I will stand when I have done all I know to do, and have come to the end of my knowledge: I will stand.

Believing.

Knowing that God is still God. Nothing can change that, and Faith in Him can change everything.



Subscribe to our newsletter

Join the Conversation: 

Do you have a story about a moment when your faith met God's timing and promise? Share it in the comments below.

How to be Extraordinary in the Face of "WHY"

Why? 

Why is there such death and violence in the world? Why do the rich get richer and the poor get poorer? Why is there violence against children and women?

Why in this modern age is there such a thing as slavery? Why did my loved one get Alzheimer’s? Why is my friend battling cancer? Why? Why? 

This is a question that haunts so many people, especially when many believe that God is supposed to be a good and righteous God. They cannot reconcile their ideas of God to their sense of right and wrong. 

If you have asked why before, then you are in good company. 

That's right.

 It is okay to question God. 

Habakkuk did. 

Habakkuk was a priest and prophet during the time of Jeremiah and Daniel. He saw the violence and sin around him and he was confused. 

In Habakkuk 1:2-4 the prophet asks: 

Lord, how long will I call for help and you not listen? I cry out to you, “Violence!” But you don’t deliver us. Why do you show me injustice and look at anguish so that devastation and violence are before me? There is strife, and conflict abounds. The Instruction is ineffective; justice does not endure because the wicked surround the righteous. Justice becomes warped.  

Have you ever been there? I have. I have felt lost and devastated by bad news and wondered “why”. I have seen those pictures of children around the world who are orphaned, hungry, cold, and dying and thought, "why"? 

When my bills are piling up and my bank balance is in the negative, I have asked why. 

When I see my nation declining morally, spiritually, financially, and physically I ask why. 

When the news shows the face of one more soldier who is dead I ask why. 

When there is no justice for victims I ask why. 

Why is a hard question. Ask any parent who has had a two or three year old child ask "why" over and over. Children are naturally curious. How we answer can teach them life lessons or give them reassurance. If we feed them too much information, it could overwhelm them. 

Are we much different with God when we ask Him why? 

In the moments we ask why. we can rail against God, (why over and over) or we can grasp the moment and learn something from Him. 

Normal people ask why. Extraordinary people wait for God to answer.

“Look among the nations and watch! Be astonished and stare, because something is happening in your days that you wouldn’t believe even if told.”  Habakkuk 1:5 

God Has a Plan. 

Our Father has a plan. It is so amazing and full and perfect that if He told us all of it, we would be blown away! 

God’s ways are not our way. They are so much higher, and more involved in details than we can know. God shows us in bits and pieces. 

Sometimes we get a glimpse of things to come, or a sense of peace, or a reassurance that sets us back on track. Sometimes we don’t get any of these things. That is when faith comes in. 

Habakkuk 2:4 says “Behold the proud, His soul is not upright in him; But the just shall live by his faith”. 

Translation? (According to me) “Look, when you set yourself against God because you don’t like the answers you cannot find rest in your soul. Line up on God’s side and live with the knowledge that God has it under control. Live by faith!” 

We may not ever know all the reasons things seem so out of balance in this world. But there is one thing we can be assured of: God is in control and all we need to do is trust. 

Not blindly, but actively. Knowing that God is faithful and just and holy, we can rest. 

So next time you want to know why, stop and listen. God will answer. Then, it is your job to trust. Are you up for it? 

Can you share an example of a time when you asked God why?

Give God a Reason

The Wrap Up

We have been learning about confidence. Trusting in God to take care of us, the situations we walk through and the future are just some of the topics we have covered. 

One thing we haven’t covered is this: can God have confidence in us? 

Can God trust you? 

That is a big question, and frankly it intimidates me. God is a holy God and I have never wanted to disappoint Him, though I have fallen short over and over. 

So what does the Bible say about this? 

Let’s look at the story of Abraham, Isaac and a Contract (read the story here) 

Abraham had been serving the Lord for years. In his old age he was given a son by his wife Sarah, whom they called Isaac. This child was a promised child, a gift in their old age and the beginning of the nation of Israel. Just not yet. 

First God wanted to test Abraham. God was testing Abraham’s love, faith, trust, and his free will. 

God tested Abraham’s love. --- This was prelaw. There were no 10 Commandments yet. There were other idols and gods being worshipped. Abraham was called out of the Chaldeans, known for their worship and veneration of the stars and planets. God needed to know that there was nothing between Abraham and Him: not even a son. Every step he took toward that mountain was walked because Abraham loved the Lord. 

God tested Abraham’s faith. --- After God told Abraham to go sacrifice his son He said “on a mountain I will show you”. This three day trip had to be emotionally excruciating for a father. He prepared everything. He struck out. Crossing desert and closing in on a mountain range. Where would God step in? 

He had to be thinking: ‘Surely God would not kill my boy- the one He promised to me years ago.’ 

When Isaac asked where the sacrifice was, Abraham could only answer, “God will provide”. 

He kept the faith. 

God tested Abraham’s trust in Him. --- He raised the knife. Knowing that if he followed through with it, God would provide a miracle for his son and for him. He determined in his heart to follow through in obedience and for that reason, God stayed Abraham’s hand. Abraham trusted God, and it was counted as righteousness. 

God tested Abraham’s free will. --- At any time Abraham could have said no. God had already promised Abraham a son. God had delivered on that promise. But love, faith, trust, have no power unless they are given of our free will. Abraham chose God over his son, over his doubt, over his pain, over his circumstances. Abraham chose God. 

So what did God do in return? He chose Abraham. 

God provided where there was no provision. He changed Abraham’s mourning into celebration. God honored Abraham’s faithfulness with an even bigger promise. 

The Contract 

And God said to Abraham: 

“I give my word as the Lord that because you did this and didn’t hold back your son, your only son, I will bless you richly and I will give you countless descendants, as many as the stars in the sky and as the grains of sand on the seashore. They will conquer their enemies’ cities. All the nations of the earth will be blessed because of your descendants, because you obeyed me.” 

Just seconds before this, Abraham thought his son would soon be dead. Now, because he chose God, God was choosing him to be the father of a nation. Through this nation, (the 12 tribes of Israel) came Jesus, the Savior of the World, by whom all nations of the earth are blessed. 

Because Abraham chose God, God chose Abraham, and through him began a blood line that would birth the King of Kings. 

So what trial are you going through? What thing has God asked you to do that seem so hard? Think of Abraham and choose well. 

Give God a reason to trust you. 

Have you ever had a test of your faith?


This tandem series on CONFIDENCE is a joint effort between Dana Pittman and Dayna Bickham. Both Dana and Dayna blog about life, grace, and God’s love and plan for you. To follow this series, visit here to learn more.

Change Your Perspective

This is a guest post written by Dana Pittman. Dana Blogs at DanaPittman.com.  You can follow her on Twitter or Facebook.

I love the saying “a picture is worth a thousand words”. I am not a photographer, except my love of snapping pictures on my morning runs and my children. I realize this quote assumes a lot. The greatest assumption is that we all will see what the photographer sees. But how many of you know that appearances can be deceiving? 

We are well on our way with our confidence series. It caused me to think about my life and why I struggle with godly confidence. My response is a tossup between my faith and trust in God. I believe it is my immediate circumstances that sometimes cause me to doubt.

Have you ever wondered whether God heard your prayers? Whether He realized you are knee deep in mess screaming to get His attention.

A mess usually of my own doing yet in these moments I find myself trusting in my feelings and not God. The picture for me is bleak. I fail to consider God’s track record. I fail to acknowledge, or even consider, God’s presence in the situation.

I am comforted by knowing these situations do not happen often. But I’m not perfect. I merely serve a perfect God.

You see, every new obstacle, challenge or opportunity ups the ante. You go from pea-size…to bean-size…to golf-ball size faith. However, in the transition between the seasons your picture may look unpromising.

Take courage in knowing…looks can be deceiving.

Trust in the LORD with all your heart and
lean not on your own understanding…
- Proverbs 3:5

Trust God

Trusting in God brings about wisdom. Not knowledge. Knowledge we gain from books and life experiences. Wisdom, I believe, goes much deeper. Wisdom can result from our growing and maturing in relation with God. We can tap into an infinite source of wisdom by tapping into the source.

Trusting God will mean disregarding the circumstances. He said it. He’ll do it. Despite the situation.

Trusting God will mean your circumstances may look hopeless but this is based on your own understanding, not His.

Adjust your Lens

Godly confidence requires you to adjust your lens. You must view the picture--your life--from the prospective of Christ. Because of Him we embody the ability to get a greater understanding…Don’t take my word for it.

"No eye has seen, no ear has heard, no mind
has conceived what God has prepared for
those who love him"
- 1 Corinthians 2:9

Beloved you may have more bills than money. Trust God. You may find yourself lonely and awaiting the appearance of your mate. Trust God. You may feel like you are about to lose…your…mind.

Trust.

God.

Trust Him because He’s trustworthy.

Adjust your lens and in those moments your perspective will change. That picture will go from limiting to a million possibilities. For it is in that moment you are allowing God to be your confidence.

…the greatest photographer of all time.

Question: How can you change your perspective in a current situation and place your confidence in God?

 ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~

This tandem series on CONFIDENCE is a joint effort between Dana Pittman and Dayna Bickham. Both Dana and Dayna blog about life, grace, and God’s love and plan for you. To follow this series, visit here to learn more.

Three Things to Know About Confidence

It is elusive. It is something others have. It is something we all want but secretly fear we will never obtain. 

Confidence. 

That ten letter word has eluded many people and been the bane to even more. 

Just search the word “confidence” on Amazon and you will get over 1300 results. But what does the Word say about confidence? 

Let’s look. 

Job 4:5-7

But now when trouble strikes, you lose heart. You are terrified when it touches you.

Doesn't your reverence for God give you confidence? Doesn't your life of integrity give you hope?

“Stop and think! Do the innocent die? When have the upright been destroyed?

Confidence by definition is “full trust, assurance and certitude”. 

So when we read Job we can see three things about confidence that we may not have seen before. 

1. Confidence comes from our reverence of God.

This is not as easy as it sounds. Real reverence is giving respect and honor, but more than that it is giving a PLACE of honor and respect in our lives. God isn’t just God on Sundays. He wants to be revered and honored every day in your life. When we think something is important we give that thing priority. How would you rank God in your life? Is He number one or are you? Maybe your spouse has slipped into that spot. Maybe your kids have usurped Him in your life. If we really honor God as the most important part of our lives, then this will give us confidence.

2. Confidence can overcome fear.

When trials come, and they will (James 1:1-6) we all face that moment of panic. If left unchecked, that little jump in the pit of our stomach can turn into debilitating fear. Crippling us from reacting, and strangling us with its talons fear can literally choke the life out of us.

I know a 50-something woman, let’s call her Andrea (name changed to protect her privacy) who recently found out she has breast cancer. After a biopsy, they found that the cancer has not reached her lymph nodes yet, (good news!) but they are waiting on pathology to find out if the cancer is aggressive or not. She has experienced tremendous pain from the biopsy, and fear has made her conclude that if the cancer is aggressive she will not take chemo-therapy. She is giving up before she ever begins the fight. FEAR IS DEADLY!

Confidence in God, in His ability to perform His word, in His purpose for you will strengthen your resolve in life. You will no longer be steamrolled by the trials of life, but will count them all joy instead. You will be prepared to stand and fight, knowing that the Great I Am is behind you and no enemy can prosper against you. That is what confidence can do: it makes you more than a conqueror.

3. Confidence renews your hope and gives you heart.

“The Lord is my rock, and my fortress, and my deliverer; my God, my strength, in whom I will trust; my buckler, and the horn of my salvation, and my high tower.” Psalms 18:2

“Now I know that Adonai gives victory to his anointed one — he will answer him from his holy heaven with mighty victories by his right hand.” Psalms 20:7

“The Lord redeemeth the soul of his servants: and none of them that trust in him shall be desolate.” Psalms 34:22

“In the fear of the Lord is strong confidence: and his children shall have a place of refuge.” Proverbs 14:26

 Our hope gets misplaced at times. We think our jobs are what sustain us, or our purpose is only found in the work place or as a wife and mom. These things hold value, but they alone mean nothing. God is our hope. He is our confidence. Trust in Him and the rest will come.

The Bible says faith comes by hearing, but so does confidence. Hear what God is saying to you right now. You are fearfully and wonderfully made. God has plans for you. He will never leave you or forsake you. With Him all things are possible. Build up your TRUST and confidence will come. 

What are your struggles with confidence?

This tandem series on CONFIDENCE is a joint effort between Dana Pittman and Dayna Bickham. Both Dana and Dayna blog about life, grace, and God's love and plan for you. To follow this series, visit here to learn more.

Disclaimer: Some affiliate sites have been mentioned in this blog. 

Something Weird Happened

I recently lead Praise and Worship at a friend’s church. It was a strange experience for me. Not because I had to sing with CDs, but because I have not lead in years. 

One of my childhood dreams was to be the next Amy Grant. I wanted to sing Christian music to massive amounts of people. I have been a praise and worship leader before, I have sung on a Hosanna Integrity album (Holy Fire) as a choir member, and I sung lots of Karaoke when I was not serving God, yet there has been a gap of so many years of not singing that I had not only let the dream go, I had forgotten I ever had it. 

To be honest, I never thought I would ever lead praise and worship again. 

I was talking with a friend I have not seen in nearly a year and she said something that I found extremely profound. 

“I have learned to trust God and to completely surrender, because when I say things like, “I never” or “that can’t happen” then God has a way of throwing me into a situation that challenges those statements. Weird stuff happens.”

Recently I wrote a small note to God about surrender. I write these little notes to hold myself accountable. I know God heard me when I said it, but I say so many things I wanted to make sure I heard it where it counts: in my heart. This is what it said: 

Lord,

I surrender

My fears

The lies I believed

The lies I have told

My emotions

My hang-ups

My broken parts

I surrender

My expectations

My pride

My hopes

I surrender

What I do “understand”

And what I don’t

I surrender

My arguments

My rationalizations

I surrender ME!

I have to surrender to God, to trust Him fully. I need to walk out my faith and act like I believe what I say I believe. 

I know God restores things to us. Maybe even my singing. It is a talent I buried years ago. I never thought I would ever use it for God again. Then something weird happened.

Question: Can you share a time something similar happened to you? 

My prayer in the night!

Father, I cry out to you. You, O lord are in Heaven, full of grace and mercy on Your throne. You who dwells in the hearts of man, whose love pours out over the nations, whose eyes roam the earth to and fro. To You I cry and come before You now.


In my soul I am disquieted. I ache with the pain of my lack. I have failed to trust You. I have raised money to a status above You. Forgive me O lord; I know what You have said. No man can serve two masters. Lord, I repent. I have not truly looked to You as my source. I have not relied on You as I should. I repent and I am determined to change.


Change my heart Father God. Renew in me a right spirit. One that is upright before you, one without shame, shade, or turning. Let me be transparent before You now. Cleanse me and purify my heart o Lord. I want You, and the things of You in my life. I do not accept lack, I do not accept my “place” when it is inferior to what You have designed for me. I will not be weighed down by these lies. I deserve more as Your child. You have plans for me. You have a path for me. You o Lord have designed me for a purpose. I am yours to wield.


Where I lack You are enough. Where I need, You are sufficient. You are my supply, and You are endless. YOU ARE MY SUPPLY AND YOU ARE ENDLESS! Your love and mercy are new every morning. You are more faithful than the sun. You are the mighty creator, and You love me. You make covenant with me, you broke Your Son’s body for me; Your love is endless, matchless and without measure. Teach me O Lord to be like You. To trust You. To lean into You. To sit and be still to know that You are here. In your presence IS fullness. I will not go hungry, I will not be left a beggar, In you I have everything I need. In you I LIVE, I BREATHE, and Have my being!


You sing over me, songs of love, songs of comfort, and songs of life. You are all I have needed, and I will look to You. I will look to Your holy hill and know my help is on the way.


Examine me lord. Open me up, lay me bare. Grow me from the inside out. Rejuvenate, remake, remodel me into Your image, as You intended from the beginning. You o Lord are my shelter, my fortress. Under Your wing will I stay and I will trust in you all the days of my life.


You knew me in my mother’s womb, You saw me before I was ever made. You knew all my faults, mistakes, and failings and you loved me anyway. You are so good. I praise you O God! To you I declare my love and abiding faith. In you I am grafted. In You I dwell. In your city, on Your holy hill, I will kneel before You, singing your praise and weeping in Your presence.


You Father know my needs before I do. You are already making a way where there seems to be no way. You are the one whose footsteps I follow. I listen for Your melodic, warm voice as it leads me along still waters. You are the lifter of my head, the lover of my soul, my true and mighty king. You are all I need. I will not forget, but when I do forget, Your Spirit will remind me. You are my help in this and every moment. I love You, I worship You. Majestic Righteous, Omnipotent Savior. Mighty God, in whom I will place my trust! To Him who sits on the throne, all glory, all power, all might. You are great and greatly to be praised. Lamb of God, Eternal Brother, Savior, King. I love You Lord. Amen.

God's Kisses

Photo Credit: Creative Commons

I cannot say enough how good my Father is! His mercy and kindness endure forever, and his love toward me is endless. I am in awe of all He is doing in my life, and through this blog. Every time I see a new country listed as visiting this blog, or see my kids surrender a little more to Jesus, I am moved. I call these moments God’s little kisses.

God delights in his children, and in Zephaniah 3:17 it says God even sings over us.  How amazing is that?  His joy is so full when he looks at His children that He sings over us.

When we look at our lives, and I mean really look, we can see God’s blessing and favor all around. For these blessings, we need to be thankful. 

Do you talk to God? 

So let me ask you this: whether it is written or just a running list in your mind, do you have a prayer list? (For more on prayer, read Communicate, Communicate, Communicate!) Prayer is so important. God hears our prayers and this communication with Him is just one way we learn more about God, and what He has for us in our lives.  He also moves on our behalf to answer our prayers.

When our prayers are answered it is God’s love kissing our lives, and assuring us of His love. 

For everything He checks off the list, give thanks. The song “His Love Endures Forever” is playing in my head right now, and just because I love it so much, I will add it to the bottom of this page, so if you don’t know it, take a listen.

Here are a few of the things God has done in my life:

1-      He brought my daughters to Him. They was unsaved, but now are counted among the saints.
2-      He gives me fulfillment and shows me more of my purpose everyday through this blog.
3-      He restored my marriage after my adultery and gave me a testimony of His faithfulness.
4-      He never leaves me alone, even when I try to pull away.
5-      He adds to me every day more understanding of Him and His goodness.

These are just a few of the things that I have to be thankful for. Some were recent; some were years ago, but so BIG that I still give thanks for them.  Can you make a list? Make two: write out your prayer list and then write out your “Kisses” list, one that list all the things God has done. This will build your faith and trust in Him. Faith comes by hearing, and hearing by the word of God, but sometimes in our lives we are like Thomas, and we need to see.

So write out your list, and see how good our Father has been to you. Let God’s kisses remind you that His grace is sufficient. Let His kisses remind you that you are never alone. Be thankful in all things and know that God is faithful in everything. If HE says it, HE will do it!

What is something you are thankful for? 

Wake me UP!

Jamming out to Natalie Grant today, God used her song Awaken to really speak to me. The Holy Spirit brought this to my memory and I went to read it. Normally I wouldn't pick such a long passage to talk about today, but what a passage…. I promise it will be worth it if you just hang with me through this one.

Mark 5:22 And behold, one of the rulers of the synagogue came, Jairus by name. And when he saw Him, he fell at His feet 23 and begged Him earnestly, saying, “My little daughter lies at the point of death. Come and lay Your hands on her, that she may be healed, and she will live.” 24 So Jesus went with him, and a great multitude followed Him and thronged Him.

25 Now a certain woman had a flow of blood for twelve years, 26 and had suffered many things from many physicians. She had spent all that she had and was no better, but rather grew worse. 27 When she heard about Jesus, she came behind Him in the crowd and touched His garment. 28 For she said, “If only I may touch His clothes, I shall be made well.”

29 Immediately the fountain of her blood was dried up, and she felt in her body that she was healed of the affliction. 30 And Jesus, immediately knowing in Himself that power had gone out of Him, turned around in the crowd and said, “Who touched My clothes?”

31 But His disciples said to Him, “You see the multitude thronging You, and You say, ‘Who touched Me?’”

32 And He looked around to see her who had done this thing. 33 But the woman, fearing and trembling, knowing what had happened to her, came and fell down before Him and told Him the whole truth. 34 And He said to her, “Daughter, your faith has made you well. Go in peace, and be healed of your affliction.”

35 While He was still speaking, some came from the ruler of the synagogue’s house who said, “Your daughter is dead. Why trouble the Teacher any further?”

36 As soon as Jesus heard the word that was spoken, He said to the ruler of the synagogue, “Do not be afraid; only believe.” 37 And He permitted no one to follow Him except Peter, James, and John the brother of James. 38 Then He came to the house of the ruler of the synagogue, and saw a tumult and those who wept and wailed loudly. 39 When He came in, He said to them, “Why make this commotion and weep? The child is not dead, but sleeping.”

40 And they ridiculed Him. But when He had put them all outside, He took the father and the mother of the child, and those who were with Him, and entered where the child was lying. 41 Then He took the child by the hand, and said to her, “Talitha, cumi,” which is translated, “Little girl, I say to you, arise.” 42 Immediately the girl arose and walked, for she was twelve years of age. And they were overcome with great amazement. 43 But He commanded them strictly that no one should know it, and said that something should be given her to eat.

I just want to point out a few things…

First, Jairus is not just anyone. He is a leader in the synagogue, well known and well off. His name means ‘Whom God Enlightens”, and as we study this passage we will see that he really was. This leader, a prominent man in the city and in the temple found Jesus, and throwing himself down before him, with a great crowd pressing all around, he besought, or called upon Him in exhortation and begged in many ways for Jesus to heal his daughter, who while they spoke was taking her last breath. “My little daughter lies at the point of death. Come and lay Your hands on her, that she may be healed, and she will live.”

When we look at the Strong’s Concordance at the meaning of hands and live, Jairus essentially said “lay God’s hands, that created the universe and control the destiny of men, on her that she may be healed and will live a real life, full, worthy, active and blessed; endless in the Kingdom of God”. WOW! What a proclamation before all of the people!

What faith and insight into whom Christ was. What revelation! This moved Jesus to meet Jairus’ need. This moved GOD TO ACT! But then, in the middle of Jesus going to heal Jairus’ daughter, it seems like Jesus gets sidetracked. The woman with the issue of blood reaches out to touch his robe, and because her faith is great too Jesus stops and points out her faith for all to hear.(Sometimes our faith reaches out and grabs his attention when He isn’t really expecting it…seems like God like surprises) He could of kept going, but then this woman, who had an issue of blood for years that made her “unclean’ and therefore not allowed in public, would not have received the fullness of all God had for her. Jesus not only healed her, he announced her as whole, cleansed, and restored her to society. Isaiah 55:11 “So shall my word be that goeth forth out of my mouth: it shall not return unto me void, but it shall accomplish that which I please, and it shall prosper in the thing whereto I sent it.” God doesn’t do things halfway.

Meanwhile, Jairus received news. His daughter is dead. I don’t know about you, but I would be rocked to my core. That initial shock we all experience when we get news like this is usually followed by unbelief. Think about it. Have you ever immediately responded to news of a death with “I don’t believe it”? But Jesus!!!! He says “Do not be afraid, ONLY believe!” The meaning of that word is this: place your confidence, your trust, and your fidelity (loyalty) in God. Confidence is a part of our mind, will, and emotions (or soul); trust is a heart issue, and loyalty we express in the outward actions of the physical. In one word, Jesus grabs Jairus’ mind, heart and body. O He is faithful. This is the second main point I want to make: He does not leave us even in our darkest hour. He reminds us of WHO He is and WHAT we mean to Him. O how He loves us!

But that is not all! (I sound like an info commercial, but when you’re telling people about Jesus, it is hard to just stop at the good stuff, you have to get to the GREAT stuff!)

Next I want to touch on the circumstances surrounding Jairus when he gets home. Jesus has left all the crowds behind, and brought only a few of His disciples with Him, so that they can both bare witness and join their faith to what was about to happen. When they arrive professional mourners are in full wail, and Jairus’ home is inundated with unbelief. They are a ‘tumult” of activity. You know the kind of activity: noisy, distracting, made by people that think they are helping. These people are detractors, and left unchecked they will rob us of our miracle if we pay attention to them instead of what God says about our situation. DO NOT FORGET WHO IS IN CONTROL!

Jesus was that day and He still is today! He kicked all the well-intending naysayers out and got down to business on behalf of Jairus and his family. “Little girl, I say to you, arise.” That word, ARISE, means Wake UP! Stir yourself, and begin to build a life! She immediately responded. This is what our reaction should be to God when He speaks to us. When we do, the people around us will be astonished, as Jairus and his wife were.

The word astonished in this passage literally means thrown out of place, BLOWN AWAY! And wholly fixed on the DIVINE! When God does a work in us, when He “Awakens” us, and we obey immediately those around us, (and yes, even us), become Blown away by God, and we begin to fulfill what we were made for. To be lights, beacons on a hill: a conduit of God’s manifest love in our immediate little worlds that impact the people around us as they become fixed on the Divine in our lives.

So my prayer is this, (thanks Natalie Grant) “Awaken my heart, awaken my soul, awaken Your power and take control. Awaken a passion to live for You Lord, Awaken me.”

Be blessed and be a blessing, and remember awaken IS a verb.