Here Lies Dayna Bickham

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I have a problem. 

My problem is the same no matter where I go. Sometimes my problem is loud, ugly, and gets lots of attention. Sometimes, if I am really working at it, my problem is not as noticeable. It quiets down, does not seem to be more of a problem than anyone else may have. Sometimes, it is all I see, and sometimes it gets in the way of my pursuit of God. 

My problem is me. 

One of my favorite scriptures is John 3:30 (Read it here in context) 

"He must increase, but I must decrease."

It is a scripture that reminds me that it is not all about me. Jesus is the way God saved me. He is the culmination of God's love made manifest on the earth and glorified before His Father. 

He now lives in me. 

He is the one that needs to increase and I must decrease. It is not how much I can do, but how I can obey so Christ is seen in me. It is not about my talent, but about using what I can to show God's love and mercy and glory off to others. 

I wrote yesterday, "I have been pious".  What I should have written is "I have been self-absorbed". 

Aren't We All?

Part of the human condition is to look at ourselves. Don't believe me? Let's look at Adam and Eve after the fall. They looked at themselves and discovered they were naked. They were so ashamed of it that they clothed themselves. For the first time their focus was not on God, or the task He had given them, but on themselves and on each other. 

When a baby is discovering the world, he does so through the filter of "me". As he waves little arms and legs around, reaching for mobiles and bottles, he begins to differentiate between "me" (his hands) and not "me" (bottle). We are conditioned from birth this way. 

That is why Jesus said this: 

 

"If anyone desires to be My disciple, let him deny himself [disregard, lose sight of, and forget himself and his own interests] and take up his cross and follow Me [cleave steadfastly to Me, conform wholly to My example in living and, if need be, in dying, also]." (Amp) 

The Challenge 

This is possibly THE hardest lesson I have to learn. Probably because every time I want to say "I get it" something else comes up that proves I have not. So I have devised a challenge. We have done it before. It is pretty simple, but worth revisiting. Write your "self" obituary. 

The key to a good self obituary is to be honest. Kill all your little "me's". In another post I wrote it this way: 

"The point is to have a definitive moment where you choose obedience to Christ over yourself. Let obedience kill you. Let God resurrect a new you and a new life in Him."

The second thing is this: hold yourself accountable to do what you say you will do. There is power in writing things down, but there is equal power in speaking it out. Share with someone, anyone, that you plan on murdering your "me's" and let them read your self obit. This will prompt you to work harder when you fall into habits that take the focus off of God and back onto yourself.

Here Lies...  

As always I will go first. Do not leave me hanging. Be sure to add your obit to the comments section. Then we can be in the "grave" together and pray for each other as we strive to decrease as Christ increases.

Here lies Dayna Bickham. 

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She has been here before. She said she laid it all down. Then she slowly and surely began to get back up again to do life on her own. She thought she was doing life right. She attended church and even prayed. Yet, somewhere along the way it became about her. 

So today, we bury her again.

Today she leaves behind her old self: the one who cared little to nothing for others, who always needed to be admired, feared, and knew better than everyone.

Today she dies by a thousand little cuts of self-inflicted wounds because today she crucifies her flesh, she lays down her “self” and she takes up the cross.

She surrenders her pride, her reputation, and her hard demeanor. She lays it all on the line, she lays it all at the feet of Jesus. She lets go of her frustrations and her heartaches and she grabs a hold of God's peace and justice instead.

She surrenders her hurt. She surrenders her insecurities. She surrenders her rights.

Today she stops wondering what she has to offer, and instead offers what she is: an earthen vessel, created by a Master Potter. 

To be used in what ever way He sees fit. 

Here lies Dayna Bickham. Resurrected into a new life as a new creature. Old things (her old self) have passed away. Behold, all things are becoming new. 

Join the Conversation: 

Your turn. Won't you take a few minutes now to write and share your "self" obit? Come on, you can do it. Kill your "me's". Leave your obit below in the comments.