Writing the Next Chapter

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Self-Discovery 101

On my recent mission trip to Guatemala I learned so much about myself. I learned I could walk farther than I thought possible. I learned that sweat, though stinky, can smell like a sweet perfume if it is made in service to the King. 

I also learned that I am able to do what He has called me to do. 

The Rub

Sometimes we know what our purpose is, what our call is, but we do not walk in it. This leads to dissatisfaction and overall unhappiness with life, and sometimes with our relationship with God. At least, I know I have felt this way. 

You see, I knew I was called to "preach beyond the hills" (a personal word I received when I was just sixteen). I knew I wanted to be a missionary since I was about 19, but I thought I had either "missed it" or God had changed His mind about using me since then. After all, a lot had changed for me. 

I got married. I had kids. I had an affair. I did not have a completed degree. I was "just" a blogger. I am overweight. The list goes on.... Jon Acuff says in his best-selling book Quitter "sometimes living your dream is an act of recovery more than of discovery." (sic) 

These things are only part of my story. Not the whole of who I am., or who I was created and called to be. Yet, I let them stand in the way of doing everything God has called me to. 

I am a writer. I know the work there is basically this: butt in chair and type away. This is doing the work of a writer, I am a mother, I know the work there is multifaceted and includes being a chef, taxi service, disciplinarian, loving listener, quality time maker and so much more. I am a wife. I know the work there is being a confidant, a lover, a friend, a cheerleader, a shoulder, etc. 

I walk and function in all of these callings on my life, but neglected the call I heard as a kid.

Sometimes we disqualify ourselves before the game has truly begun. TWEET THAT

The Truth

The truth is I am called. Jeremiah 29:11 tells me so. I am usable, because Romans 8:28 says that God can use anything and everything, even the bad stuff, to bring Himself the glory through us. Ephesians 2:10 says I am His masterpiece called to do good works. Isaiah 55 says God is in covenant with me, and the nations are given unto me. This is the Word of God breathing life into me, and the voice of my Father leading me. 

"And that same Christ gave these gifts to people: He made some to be apostles, some to be prophets, some to go and tell the Good News, and some to care for and teach God’s people. Christ gave these gifts to prepare God’s holy people for the work of serving, to make the body of Christ stronger.This work must continue until we are all joined together in what we believe and in what we know about the Son of God. Our goal is to become like a full-grown man—to look just like Christ and have all his perfection" Ephesians 4:11-13 

Jeff Goins in his book Wrecked: When a Broken World Slams Into Your Comfortable Life says this: 

"What we have to learn to do is lean into the things that hold is back, to move through the pain and push forward." 

I felt held back, I felt bad about myself, and I felt justified in my excuses.  I was my problem, not any thing else. So when I felt prompted to take a step unlike any other I have ever taken in my life, I knew that I could no longer be held back. I am called to missions and I will serve where I am called. 

I could not stand on the sidelines letting life and my call pass me by any longer. I want what ever mantle God trusts me with and that means I must obey. 

After all, God is the author and finisher of our faith and He is starting the next chapter for me. I want to be on the same page with Him. 

The Next Step

The next step for me was applying as a leader candidate at Adventures in Missions. This group is the one that lead the Wrecked Vision Team to Guatemala. It is doing some amazing work. I have been interviewed and invited to attend candidate training camp in April 2013. I will travel to Georgia and see what God is preparing me for. 

This is a scary, yet beautifully exciting thing for me. 

I cannot do it alone. Here are four ways you can help: 

• Pray for me - as I embark on this great new leg of my journey. 
• Support me - going and doing does cost money. Even Jesus had a ministry account. 
• Like My Page - I have a page on Facebook just for all things missions related. There you can get updates and share encouraging messages.
• Subscribe - to this blog. Updates and stories will come here first and foremost.  

Thank you for all you do to advance the kingdom of God and for me. You are a great group of readers and I would not trade you for anything. 

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What is next for you? 

Look Who Turns One!

The Blog Turns One

Today is a special day. I was so surprised at how quickly this year has flown. One year ago today I heard God say write a blog, and so I came home from church and sat down and began.

I wrote about praise and worship, about prayer, about parenting, and about life in general. It wasn't until about half way through the year I began to understand what direction I wanted to head and since I have become focused on helping others find purpose, I have found mine.

I never would have dreamed that in less than a year, over 60,000 people would have seen my blog. I never dreamed that I would have written a book, let alone two. This last year has been amazing!

God is good. He has a plan for me and He has a plan for you. I have avoided writing the typical "New Year's Resolution" piece because I know that everyday we must resolve ourselves to lay down our lives and pick up the life that God has designed for us.

2013 Challenge 

I want to challenge  you today to find three scriptures that define for you your life. They may be the same ones you have clung to for years or they may be completely new, but these scriptures will help shape you and your next year. For me, I will endeavor in 2013 to keep living my life by my favorite three scriptures.

Jeremiah 29:11 "For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the Lord, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future." (NIV) 

Ephesians 2:10 "For we are God’s handiwork, created in Christ Jesus to do good works, which God prepared in advance for us to do." (NIV) 

and Romans 8:28 "And we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love him, who have been called according to his purpose." (NIV) 

God has a plan, and since I do not always know the details, with these three scriptures I can trust, I can endure His reshaping of me, and I can rely on His redemption and His grace. With these three scriptures I can live life as an adventure and not worry about the small stuff. 

Thank you for being along for the ride. 

Prize Announcement: 

This blog was holding a giveaway, and no one entered. If you want to win this cross, then subscribe now to enter. I will extend the giveaway until the end of the month. The prize is a hand-carved, reclaimed wooden cross. This cross is made by recovering drug addicts in a local ministry that I have recently learned about. I will be telling you more about them soon. 

If you already subscribe to our Newsletter you can enter too by sharing either on Facebook (the "F" icon is below) and tagging me (Dayna Renee Hackett Bickham) or by Tweeting #TheAnnivesaryGift. Best of Luck all! 

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What was your favorite part of the past year? 

Contest Winner and Book Announcement

Congratulations! Noel Zepeda was the fabulous illustrator who won the Cover Art Contest for my new upcoming book, The Purpose of Chosen. 

I have to say I LOVE it! 

There were other great entries too. two from my daughter and one from a colleague I met through Michael Hyatt's Platform Launch team. 

I fell in love with what each artist did on one level or another. 

I have gotten permission from each artist to include their submissions as illustrations in the book, so those will be used too! 

There is plenty to do still. I am waiting on the forward. ( A good friend and fellow author/blogger is writing it.) And I am waiting on a really big "get" from another author who I love. I am not going to tell you who in case he does not want to review the book, but I am excited that the "maybe" hanging in the air is even there. I could have heard "no" right away. Now I am only waiting on his "Yes". 

Think you know who it might be? LOL! 

I have to say that this process has taught me so much. Patience is not my strong suit and I started this off by flinging it out into the world with so many errors it was embarrassing. I have to take the time to thank Shannon Mulholland and Heidi Kreider for their edits and reviews and Tammy Helfrich for her recent review as well. 

I have to thank Dana Pittman for pushing me to do more. This isn't  "the" book, but I am on my way. 

Everyone of you who have encouraged me, loved on me, listened to me, let me cry on your shoulder, thank you. 

For you artists who took a chance and helped me with my dream while you are in pursuit of your own dream, thank you! 

Thank you all for going to A Year in the Spiritual Life's Facebook Page and voting! 

Most of all, thank you Father God, who wrote David's life story and encourages me to live mine. I cannot wait to see what You have in store next! 

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Moved by God

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An Epiphany 

Writing for me is more than a job, or a hobby. It is an expression of who I am, and my heart. I often wonder, and sometimes lament here, if there is any point to what I do.

Then last night I got to chat with a friend, She has been through some extraordinary stuff. Born and raised a Texas girl, God uprooted her and her family last year and sent them to the hills of Virginia. There was no beach in sight, the closest stores were thirty minutes away, and the culture was completely different. Her journey was filled with plenty of "Huh?" moments, but as she began to trust God and really give into obedience, God began to move in some really amazing ways.

Now, after about a year there, and really settling in, God is moving them back to Texas. Her friends here in Texas could not be more excited, but there is sadness in Virginia. Her friends there will miss her and her family. Together with her husband she ministered to the youth and they will be missed most decidedly there.

When I heard about this last night the first thing I thought of was Paul. The Apostle Paul went to other  churches, and stayed for a year or two at a time.Then he would leave. That is what happened with my friend.

Now this church in Virginia has experienced real love and relationship. They have experienced an awakening and walls have come down that they did not even know were there because of my friend and her family. Now, as the church moves forward it will be with the understanding that there is more to be had in their lives with Christ, and they are hungry enough to begin to search and grow on their own.

Most of the New Testament is made up of Paul's letters. After I signed off talking to my friend, I began to think about what I do. These are my letters. I am not saying I am equal to Paul, but I am similar. I may not be chained in the natural to a soldier, but my heart is chained to this blog. I feel constrained if I do not write, even when I do not know what to write.

  It is what God has called me to, and I need to stop doubting it. 

As more and more people read my words around the world, I see this as an opportunity to spread the Gospel, to minister to the broken and to set free the captive hearts. Just as surely as I know that God has a call on your life, I know that He has a call on mine.

So I will write. I will also pray. I will pray for you to gain confidence in God and who He designed you to be. I will pray that you would begin to grow in compassion and love for people because that is the only reason God does anything in our lives: He loves people. I will pray that He will grab you by the belt like Peter and begin to lead you where He wants you to go, and  like my friend, you will obey even in the "Huh?" moments.

May God bless you above all you can ask or think, may He love you in a way that is as unique as you are and may your heart be soft enough to receive it.

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Have you ever had a "move" or change in your life that changed everything?

Here Lies Dayna Bickham

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I have a problem. 

My problem is the same no matter where I go. Sometimes my problem is loud, ugly, and gets lots of attention. Sometimes, if I am really working at it, my problem is not as noticeable. It quiets down, does not seem to be more of a problem than anyone else may have. Sometimes, it is all I see, and sometimes it gets in the way of my pursuit of God. 

My problem is me. 

One of my favorite scriptures is John 3:30 (Read it here in context) 

"He must increase, but I must decrease."

It is a scripture that reminds me that it is not all about me. Jesus is the way God saved me. He is the culmination of God's love made manifest on the earth and glorified before His Father. 

He now lives in me. 

He is the one that needs to increase and I must decrease. It is not how much I can do, but how I can obey so Christ is seen in me. It is not about my talent, but about using what I can to show God's love and mercy and glory off to others. 

I wrote yesterday, "I have been pious".  What I should have written is "I have been self-absorbed". 

Aren't We All?

Part of the human condition is to look at ourselves. Don't believe me? Let's look at Adam and Eve after the fall. They looked at themselves and discovered they were naked. They were so ashamed of it that they clothed themselves. For the first time their focus was not on God, or the task He had given them, but on themselves and on each other. 

When a baby is discovering the world, he does so through the filter of "me". As he waves little arms and legs around, reaching for mobiles and bottles, he begins to differentiate between "me" (his hands) and not "me" (bottle). We are conditioned from birth this way. 

That is why Jesus said this: 

 

"If anyone desires to be My disciple, let him deny himself [disregard, lose sight of, and forget himself and his own interests] and take up his cross and follow Me [cleave steadfastly to Me, conform wholly to My example in living and, if need be, in dying, also]." (Amp) 

The Challenge 

This is possibly THE hardest lesson I have to learn. Probably because every time I want to say "I get it" something else comes up that proves I have not. So I have devised a challenge. We have done it before. It is pretty simple, but worth revisiting. Write your "self" obituary. 

The key to a good self obituary is to be honest. Kill all your little "me's". In another post I wrote it this way: 

"The point is to have a definitive moment where you choose obedience to Christ over yourself. Let obedience kill you. Let God resurrect a new you and a new life in Him."

The second thing is this: hold yourself accountable to do what you say you will do. There is power in writing things down, but there is equal power in speaking it out. Share with someone, anyone, that you plan on murdering your "me's" and let them read your self obit. This will prompt you to work harder when you fall into habits that take the focus off of God and back onto yourself.

Here Lies...  

As always I will go first. Do not leave me hanging. Be sure to add your obit to the comments section. Then we can be in the "grave" together and pray for each other as we strive to decrease as Christ increases.

Here lies Dayna Bickham. 

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She has been here before. She said she laid it all down. Then she slowly and surely began to get back up again to do life on her own. She thought she was doing life right. She attended church and even prayed. Yet, somewhere along the way it became about her. 

So today, we bury her again.

Today she leaves behind her old self: the one who cared little to nothing for others, who always needed to be admired, feared, and knew better than everyone.

Today she dies by a thousand little cuts of self-inflicted wounds because today she crucifies her flesh, she lays down her “self” and she takes up the cross.

She surrenders her pride, her reputation, and her hard demeanor. She lays it all on the line, she lays it all at the feet of Jesus. She lets go of her frustrations and her heartaches and she grabs a hold of God's peace and justice instead.

She surrenders her hurt. She surrenders her insecurities. She surrenders her rights.

Today she stops wondering what she has to offer, and instead offers what she is: an earthen vessel, created by a Master Potter. 

To be used in what ever way He sees fit. 

Here lies Dayna Bickham. Resurrected into a new life as a new creature. Old things (her old self) have passed away. Behold, all things are becoming new. 

Join the Conversation: 

Your turn. Won't you take a few minutes now to write and share your "self" obit? Come on, you can do it. Kill your "me's". Leave your obit below in the comments.

True Confessions of a Christian Blogger

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Let's Get Real

In the moments when I feel undone, when I am at the end of my self and feel unable to give anything else, I learn that God’s grace is truly sufficient.

By writing almost every day I have learned more of what I do believe and what I have yet to learn. I have reached the end of “me” many times since starting this blog. Every time that has happened, God has honored His word, and His grace was enough.

Writing is not glamorous. Sometimes, it isn’t even fun. Yet, when I do not write I feel like I have missed something; like dreaming you have no pants on at work, which is just weird.

The last nine months have stretched me like never before. I have worried about comma splices and I have worried about hacking up the Word. I have worked out my faith in front of you and I have struggled. I have shown you the world’s most unflattering picture of myself on this blog and I have been raw and open about my past and about my present.

Soon the year will be up. I have only a few more months to share with you and I wonder if I should continue doing this beyond that time.

I have written about marriage issues in the church, how to set priorities, finding your purpose, following your dreams, and my everyday foibles. Some posts have gotten wonderful responses, and some things have barely registered.

I have never “gone viral” but I have typed away while battling a virus. I have gotten up at five a.m. and I have prayed over this endeavor many times.

Now, I am sick of “I”.

How do I write stories that are effective? How do I reach more people? Should I keep doing more of the same or should I stop when the year is up?

When I read Jon Acuff’s Quitter I burned from within to get to the “next” thing. Then I read You are a Writer by Jeff Goins and I knew I am a writer, and this is what I was called to do. Next came Michael Hyatt and Platform. I began to focus on building an audience, on gathering a following, on publishing my name.

I am sorry. 

I am not enough. I never was and never will be. I am not the solution to any problem; I am not some all-knowing swami, and I am not some big time minister: I am just me, Dayna.

I struggle with my temper and my kids have their own set of issues and rebellions. I struggle with maintaining friendships and over the course of the last nine months I feel like I have turned into a whiney baby. You have been there through it all. Thanks for that.

If you have gotten anything out of this blog, and I hope you have, I want you to know, it has very little to do with me and everything to do with my Father.

He gave me a gift. I have struggled to use it correctly. He has given me favor where I deserved none. He has given me ideas when my mind was bogged down by emotional clutter.

Ultimately, He will be the one that says keep going forward or stop. For now, we have three more months together, and I will keep plugging away to bring you content that hopefully speaks to you.

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Focus On what Matters

I woke up to one word in my spirit this morning: focus. 

I had planned on writing something else, but then I opened my Bible up to find the scripture I was going to write on and this is what I saw instead. 

Nehemiah 4:6 (AMP) says “So we built the wall, and all [of it] was joined together to half its height, for the people had a heart and mind to work” 

The note (in case you cannot see the picture) is what stopped me in my tracks. I do not know how long ago I wrote this. I know it has been a while since I read this book of the Bible, so it has been at least a few months, if not years since I scrawled these words: 

“Focus and willingness to obey can get great things accomplished. God’s favor seals the deal. His grace holds off the enemy.” 

The wall of Jerusalem had been destroyed, and God told Nehemiah to rebuild it. What a task! He was in service to the king. He had another job. One that placed him in a position of trust and gave him favor in the sight of his employer: he was the cup bearer. Now, he wanted to leave to do something totally different, out of his area of expertise, and completely dangerous. 

That speaks volumes to me about his trust in God. That tells me Nehemiah knew that God had a plan, and he knew he needed to obey. 

Now here comes the amazing thing God is showing me and I want to share with you: God has a plan for you too. You just need to focus and obey. 

Rebuilding a wall was a big job! 

The job required crews of workers, organization and a lot of courage. There were enemies around that did not want Nehemiah to succeed. Do you know what that is like? “Haters” want you to fail, they are just out of sight while you do all the hard work, and then they come in at your most vulnerable moment to denigrate and attack you. 

You have to know in your heart of hearts WHY you do what you are doing. If you are doing it for the recognition, the fame, the money, the feel good feelings you get doing it, then you will not have the success God wants you can have. You are getting in your own way! 

“Whatever you do, do it from the heart for the Lord and not for people.” Colossians 3:23 (CEB) 

Focus on the Why 

Did God tell you to build a wall? Then build the best wall you can. Do it because God said to, not because everyone you know and some people you don’t know may or may not be impressed. 

I went down that road with this blog. I wondered “how can I get so-in-so to read it?” “How can I get more people to my site?” and “How can I get more people to comment?” 

Now I know my focus (my heart and mind) was not on the task. I should be focusing on what God told me to do, and let Him bless it. “His favor seals the deal.” I just need to focus and obey. 

Honestly, whether or not one more person ever reads this does not matter. I wrote it. That is what God told me to do. He will bless it, or use it, (or not) in His way, in His time. 

Get your heart and your mind on the things God has told you to do and stop wondering when you will get recognized for your “efforts”. Let God see your obedience, let Him bestow favor. 

Do not work for man, work for God. 

What has God told you to do?

Creative People Need Encouragement

Jeff Goins

Last week I reviewed Jeff Goins' new book You Are a Writer (So Start Acting Like One). 

I extolled his virtues as a mentor and a writer because I really believe in them. I think every person who wants to be something, a professional musician, a praise and worship leader, an artist, a writer or any other creative person should read this book.

There is good news. The book is finally here! 

Yet Jeff does not stop at just writing a book, he goes farther than that. He creates a meeting place, a safe zone of learning and transparency about the struggles and triumphs creatives have.  http://youareawriter.com 

If you were about to click that link and didn't, I encourage you to now. Jeff is insightful, honest, and the least pretentious writing coach I know. I am not getting paid to say these things, I do not know Jeff personally, I just know that what he writes has impacted me in a very real way. 

This book is only $4.99 and the advice in it is worth at least three times as much!  Having a website to direct his readers to is part of Jeff's fundamental belief that giving is better than receiving.

So if you are still reading this instead of following one of the links to either his book or his new website then please stop and go check one or both out. 

You Are a Writer (So Start Acting Like One)

http://youareawriter.com

Are you still here? 

How Jeff Goins Kicked This Writer's Butt

Cover Art Copyright owned by Author

I have written before about my struggles with writing, about my insecurities with creating and you, my dear readers have been there every step of the way. So too has my “mentor”, Jeff Goins. 

As a frequent reader of his blog and follower on Twitter, I recently got asked by Jeff to read his upcoming eBook You are a Writer (So Start Acting like One) and I counted it a privilege to do so. 

You are a Writer (So Start Acting like One) took me an emotional and cerebral roller coaster. I have struggled with writing and since starting a blog I have waged an internal battle with myself over “issues” both large and small. 

This book is ingenious in its simplicity and profound in its insight into the writer's mind. Jeff Goins hits ever one of the issues I have ever had as a writer. I felt inspired, corrected, encouraged and empowered all at the same time. 

Moments in this book had me shouting out loud and after lesson’s like “Stop writing for accolades and start writing for passion”, or “kill the excuses and start writing” I have no reason to not develop my talent and share my gift with the world. 

Jeff Goins makes better writers because he gives us tools, he kicks our collective whiny butts and he speaks from experience. This is a must read for every writer! 

Jeff writes, “Without the Medici family, Michelangelo wouldn't have painted the Sistine Chapel.” Without Jeff Goins, I wouldn’t still be doing this “writing” thing. I would not be able to proudly, boldly, and truthfully say, “I am a writer”. 

For me, this book will join the ranks of Jon Acuff’s Quitter and Robert Masello's Robert’s Rules of Writing as one of the most influential self-help books of my life. 

The highlight for me is the personal inspirations I have drawn from You are a Writer (So Start Acting like One). Soon, this inspiration will be translated into changes here, in this blog, and I cannot wait to show you all I have learned. 

If you have a dream to write, or any other artistic and creative pursuit, this book is for you. Please, go to Amazon (affiliate site) and buy You are a Writer (So Start Acting like One)! 

To find out more about the author, visit goinswriter.com or follow Jeff on Twitter at https://twitter.com/#!/JeffGoins and to purchase his books go to DiscoverShopping.

Have you ever read a book that inspired you? 

My Struggle

The Apology

When it comes down to the brass tacks of this thing, I have been a slacker. Since Saturday I have not really poured much into the actual content of this blog. For that I want to apologize. I can make excuses, but I won’t.

The Reason

I know that there is a reason for me to have this blog. When I say “God told me to do this” I mean it. I did not hear an audible voice or see any apparitions. I just had an idea drop into my head with such clarity and force during a time of worship I knew God had spoken.

I sometimes do not think I am living up to what He wants from me here. I have had some really great Bible studies, shared some great thoughts on real life issues like depression and marriage, and even had some growth in readership. Yet, all of these things are for nothing if I am not consistent.

The Gravity

While talking to a friend over the weekend, the gravity of what I am doing hit me. I am building a platform, a tribe, which I am spiritually responsible to/for. I have called you my gypsies because no matter what walk of life we are from we all have wondered around lost until Jesus. 

Yesterday, while doing my daily blog reading, I came across a guest post by Caleb McNary on goinswriter.com. He wrote about the things writers need to do to start a blog. For him, he said, the hardest part was starting.

The Heart of It

That is not my problem. For me the hardest part is wondering. I wonder if my words are impacting people in any way. I wonder if I am doing this right. I wonder if I should scrap this blog and start all over.

This is what I wrote in the comments of Caleb’s post:

(What is) The hardest part of blogging for me? How much time do you have? NO, in all honesty I love writing my blog. The hardest part for me is the not knowing. Not knowing if my words are having an impact, or not knowing if around the corner, today or tomorrow or maybe never, it will grow to what I have in my heart. When I start focusing on these questions instead of just letting go and enjoying the process the neurotic trauma is too much to handle. So inevitably when I become the head case I tend to be, I walk away from the keyboard and find something else to do. I have to live life before I can blog about it.

Caleb replied first that he understood and secondly that I should share this with you. So I am. I do not want my flesh stroked. This is not about building my ego. I have enough of that, believe me. This is about sharing with you my personal struggle in this moment, because in all honesty, I am struggling.

I know that like any struggle, this too shall pass, but in this moment I had to share.

What about you? Do you have a struggle to share?

What Rejection Taught Me About Myself

Oh the Sting! 

I have called myself a writer, I even wrote a Manifesto. The truth is today I became a real writer. Why? Today is different because today I got my first rejection letter from a magazine. 

I have to say, the editor was very warm and went above and beyond in her reply to me. She actually gave me writing tips and encouraged me to resubmit. Her advice has prompted me to take some extra steps in preparing for each post to make my pieces stronger. 

That same advice has also made me slightly neurotic. I have obsessively read and re-read the piece I submitted and I see so many things I missed. Embarrassed does not begin to cover the way I feel, but what is done is done. I am moving on now. 

As I write this I hear in my head the advice I have read from Jeff Goins and Jon Acuff.  I have poured over every line of advice from these men I could get my hands on. These men  are successful at the very things I want to do, so what they say has authority. The odd thing is,  now I realize I still  was not getting “it”. 

Until I got this letter today, I did not understand what it felt like to hear a “dream” no. Until today I did not know how determined I really am to succeed at this writing thing. Until today I was playing around. 

Now I need to prove to myself that I can do this. Now I need to attack this and stop goofing off waiting for some “magical” moment when everything suddenly “happens” for me. Now I get my hands dirty and do the work. 

I do not know what will happen. I may never get published in that particular magazine, but I will try again. I will keep trying. I will keep writing. 

Have you had a moment like this, when someone else’s “no” became your “Yes I will!”? Tell me about it, because I would love to know I am not alone in my stubbornness.

This Writer's Manifesto

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I write. 

I have to tell you it has not been an easy trip. I have had a lot of discouragement and encouragement throughout the years, by various people in critical moments in my life that are forever crystalized in my brain. 


Like Mrs. Longfellow, my eighth grade Literary Arts teacher who after reading and grading one of my papers told me I should be an actress and speak someone else’s words, because I was no writer. 


Ouch. 


Mr. Chaney, a man who was a long-term substitute for my English teacher in ninth grade turned that around when he held me after class one day.

Typically I was only held after class because I had been a royal pain in the rear, snarky child that I was, and I thought I was in trouble. When he pulled out my paper on Romeo and Juliet, he said I had talent, and he felt I would be good at UIL Ready Writing. 


This blew my mind, but it was a moment I will never forget. Someone saw something in me: something good, something worth developing, something I thought was dross, but was really un-mined gold.  

Not Everyone Got It

When I came home and told my dad, who wrote (rather good) poetry in college, what Mr. Chaney had said, he was surprised and told me so. Daddy had always followed the philosophy that if you were not well spoken you could not be a good writer. Since I was fifteen, and a typical teenager who used too much slang, I can understand his point now, but then I was devastated. 


In my brain I heard you aren’t smart enough, you aren’t really talented, this was a fluke and you know that Mr. Chaney is a weirdo anyway. Rather unfair to Mr. Chaney and the beginning of a battle I have even now with insecurities about writing, which make me want to quit on a regular basis.

Besides any insecurity I may have, the other facet of writing that I find both extremely challenging and rewarding is its honesty. When done right, honest moments and honest words capture images that translate into memorable literary pictures in a reader’s mind. Once, I wrote about my favorite place in the world, more specifically I wrote about leaving it.

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“I learned the roads to home by driving away from it, with my father at the wheel and my step-mother resting her socked feet on the dash. The front window held the impression of her foot in fog; whether from the smell or the heat, I don’t know. Pressing my face against my door window, I watched the pine trees thin out and the road speed up, as we drove out of the hills into the flat emotionally barren world of the gulf coast of Texas.” 

These very honest sentences written by a then 17 year old version of me were met by praise for their imagery by Mrs. Henkies, my 11^th grade English teacher, but were met by hostility at home because they offended my parents. I have since learned why writers say we write what we know, because what we know is honest, what we know is both a gold mine and a landfill, what we know is organic.

So What Does That Mean? 

Am I a good writer? I do not think so. I am no Hemmingway, I am not Frost. I will not capture the attention of the world by writing about sparkling vampires in fields of flowers, but I am a writer. I write what I know.

I have known pain and I have known health. 


I have known heartache and I have known joy. 


I have known desperation and I have known peace. 


I have been lost, and I have been found. 


I write what I know. I write about life, I write about family, I write about emotions, I write about Jesus, because I know Him. 

So I will write, and I will act, Mrs. Longfellow. I will act out other writers’ words from the Bible, and I will write about those acts. I will write about the struggle of writing and I will remember that without the struggle the triumph would not mean as much. I am a writer. I write.

What are you?