Here Lies Dayna Bickham

Photo Credit: Creative Commons

I have a problem. 

My problem is the same no matter where I go. Sometimes my problem is loud, ugly, and gets lots of attention. Sometimes, if I am really working at it, my problem is not as noticeable. It quiets down, does not seem to be more of a problem than anyone else may have. Sometimes, it is all I see, and sometimes it gets in the way of my pursuit of God. 

My problem is me. 

One of my favorite scriptures is John 3:30 (Read it here in context) 

"He must increase, but I must decrease."

It is a scripture that reminds me that it is not all about me. Jesus is the way God saved me. He is the culmination of God's love made manifest on the earth and glorified before His Father. 

He now lives in me. 

He is the one that needs to increase and I must decrease. It is not how much I can do, but how I can obey so Christ is seen in me. It is not about my talent, but about using what I can to show God's love and mercy and glory off to others. 

I wrote yesterday, "I have been pious".  What I should have written is "I have been self-absorbed". 

Aren't We All?

Part of the human condition is to look at ourselves. Don't believe me? Let's look at Adam and Eve after the fall. They looked at themselves and discovered they were naked. They were so ashamed of it that they clothed themselves. For the first time their focus was not on God, or the task He had given them, but on themselves and on each other. 

When a baby is discovering the world, he does so through the filter of "me". As he waves little arms and legs around, reaching for mobiles and bottles, he begins to differentiate between "me" (his hands) and not "me" (bottle). We are conditioned from birth this way. 

That is why Jesus said this: 

 

"If anyone desires to be My disciple, let him deny himself [disregard, lose sight of, and forget himself and his own interests] and take up his cross and follow Me [cleave steadfastly to Me, conform wholly to My example in living and, if need be, in dying, also]." (Amp) 

The Challenge 

This is possibly THE hardest lesson I have to learn. Probably because every time I want to say "I get it" something else comes up that proves I have not. So I have devised a challenge. We have done it before. It is pretty simple, but worth revisiting. Write your "self" obituary. 

The key to a good self obituary is to be honest. Kill all your little "me's". In another post I wrote it this way: 

"The point is to have a definitive moment where you choose obedience to Christ over yourself. Let obedience kill you. Let God resurrect a new you and a new life in Him."

The second thing is this: hold yourself accountable to do what you say you will do. There is power in writing things down, but there is equal power in speaking it out. Share with someone, anyone, that you plan on murdering your "me's" and let them read your self obit. This will prompt you to work harder when you fall into habits that take the focus off of God and back onto yourself.

Here Lies...  

As always I will go first. Do not leave me hanging. Be sure to add your obit to the comments section. Then we can be in the "grave" together and pray for each other as we strive to decrease as Christ increases.

Here lies Dayna Bickham. 

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She has been here before. She said she laid it all down. Then she slowly and surely began to get back up again to do life on her own. She thought she was doing life right. She attended church and even prayed. Yet, somewhere along the way it became about her. 

So today, we bury her again.

Today she leaves behind her old self: the one who cared little to nothing for others, who always needed to be admired, feared, and knew better than everyone.

Today she dies by a thousand little cuts of self-inflicted wounds because today she crucifies her flesh, she lays down her “self” and she takes up the cross.

She surrenders her pride, her reputation, and her hard demeanor. She lays it all on the line, she lays it all at the feet of Jesus. She lets go of her frustrations and her heartaches and she grabs a hold of God's peace and justice instead.

She surrenders her hurt. She surrenders her insecurities. She surrenders her rights.

Today she stops wondering what she has to offer, and instead offers what she is: an earthen vessel, created by a Master Potter. 

To be used in what ever way He sees fit. 

Here lies Dayna Bickham. Resurrected into a new life as a new creature. Old things (her old self) have passed away. Behold, all things are becoming new. 

Join the Conversation: 

Your turn. Won't you take a few minutes now to write and share your "self" obit? Come on, you can do it. Kill your "me's". Leave your obit below in the comments.

Sunday Reflection March 25, 2012

What a wild and woolly week!  I feel a little overwhelmed with the amazing response this week to both this blog and to the Facebook page. This week we had over 1000 visitors to the blog and I cannot tell you how excited this makes me. Day after day the numbers began climbing and even with a late posting midweek, you came to read what was here. I am so thankful for that. And humbled. And more than a little in awe. 


I want to take time and thank Rashad McConico  for sharing his story with us. What a brave and precious thing to be so completely transparent and share such a personal story with the world. I shared this with Rashad all ready, but one of the stats I can see on this blog is what search words or phrases are being used to direct people to this site on search engines. People are looking for answers. They are searching for hope. "Stories about guys overcoming homosexuality" was searched at least twice and brought people to Rashad's testimony. God cares about the individual and if sharing his story helps one person, I know Rashad is happy to have done so. 


I also wanted to point you guys to a guest blog I wrote for Alan Knox's blog, The Assembling of the Church. I know that I have had to deal with offense before and as a Christian it was hard, but what about the people who are still without Christ, who are hurt by a something a Christian did or didn't do and now they lump that offense with the Church, and run from the congregation? What is our response to them? That guest blog was a blessing to write, but even more of a lesson for me. Thank you Alan Knox for the opportunity. 


What was the lesson I learned from the first guest blog post? Well, it is this, do what God told me, write, and let Him grow it to be what He intends. The bad habit I had fallen into was to over-think and obsess over how many people were or were not commenting on things and what did that say about me as a writer. Alan Knox, Jeff Goins, and other wonderful mentors of mine gave me wonderful advise and it was this: just write. So from that came How does your Garden Grow and Just Keep Swimming.  


Last week I shared that I had fasted my words. I shared the three things I had learned from that and I have to say I probably could have written more. If you did not get a chance to read that, click here for that. 


Then my week got turned upside down as we traveled an hour to Texas Children's Hospital with our youngest daughter, Connie-Lyn. She is battling health issues and we will be continuing to pursue answers this upcoming week for her. Please be in prayer about it. So because we were stuck in an ER with no service, I almost did not get to post for Thursday. This is what did make it: The Post that almost Wasn't. 


To round off this week's entries, I killed my "self" and wrote an obituary for her. I had hoped that you would join me and there is still plenty of opportunity to do so by taking the OBIT CHALLENGE.  Weird, I know, but I think it is so helpful in addressing the issue of obedience in our lives that I encourage everyone to do it at least once. 


So many other wonderful things happened this week, some I am holding close to my heart for now, but I do want to say something to my family who may be reading this right now: May God's grace comfort and uplift you in all you do as you mourn the loss of our dear Sister/Aunt/Friend Barbara Lou Green Frankum. Her funeral was one of the most amazing I have ever attended with laughter and joy permeating the room and even the sadness was tempered by hope. She was a no-none-sense woman with a heart bigger than Texas and she will be missed until we see her again in heaven. 


May the joy of the Lord fill you as you go into this week, may you be blessed by what you read here and I pray that you grow in grace and wisdom as you go from glory to glory. 


Dayna