NO MORE LIES Part 10: Stop the 'Lie' Cycle

Today is the last installment in this Ten-Part series "No More Lies" and I think it is the biggest lie yet. 

Lie 10: I don't lie. 

Whether in small ways or big ones I have battled with lying my whole life. After all, we live in a broken world whose prince is the father of all lies. 

When I was a kid, if I feared consequence, I lied. If I wanted attention, I lied. If I was ashamed of myself or someone else, I lied. If I forgot my homework, I lied. If I wanted something, I lied. 

My competitive nature did not help this tendency. 

At twelve I was a gangling girl who'd rather play sports than with dolls. One day, at softball practice, I got caught in a lie. I do not know where this lie came from, or why I told such an extravagant or obvious lie, but I did. The other girls were whining about how bad they had it and I had to one up them. So I opened my mouth and out popped a lie so bad I am a little ashamed to tell you. 

I said "My dad was so mad at me once he chased me around the kitchen with a knife." 

NEVER HAPPENED. 

But, I thought it had a sense of flare and was sufficient to be the most dramatic thing said that day. In other words, I topped all the other stories those girls were telling and that meant I had won.  

Except I hadn't. 

When my dad came to pick me up from practice he was surrounded by well-intentioned and extremely concerned parents. As he should of been if what I had said was true... but it wasn't. The shame he must of felt for being lied about was probably completely overshadowed by his righteous anger....or at least I imagine that is how he felt. As a parent myself now, I think that is the least of how I would feel. 

That is the kind of stuff I pulled as a kid. As an adult, those kinds of "whoppers" became less of a problem and were replaced by something more sinister. The little insidious lies that became part of my lore, my "back story" and then those horrible little lies I told myself. 

"It won't matter if you eat this whole bag of chips, you are an adult. You can do what you want." or "What right does your husband have to tell you what to do? You are a grown woman." 

Lies like these mask themselves as "independence" and "individuality", but they are dangerous. When I choose these lies over truth I am choosing death over life. 

Choose Life

"This day I call the heavens and the earth as witnesses against you that I have set before you life and death, blessings and curses. Now choose life, so that you and your children may live and that you may love the Lord your God, listen to his voice, and hold fast to him. For the Lord is your life, and he will give you many years in the land he swore to give to your fathers, Abraham, Isaac and Jacob." Deuteronomy 30-19-20 

I may not be a child of Israel, but I am a child of God, and God never changes. His character and very nature is love and truth. When I lie I am counteracting the very nature of God, which He put on the inside of me when I accepted Christ. 

So how do we stop this cycle? 

The answer is in those verses above. 

1) WE CHOOSE - this is harder than it sounds, but obviously it can be done, or we would not have received free will in the first place. God has always given us the choice. He has always wanted us to choose Him, because He is life. 

2)  LOVE GOD - this means taking the time to get to know Him and spending time lavishing your love on Him. Spend time in prayer and worship. Spend time reading the Word. We are blessed unlike the generations before Christ in that we have the Spirit of God dwelling in us. This allows us to know God like never before. By communing with God we love him, but more so we love Him by loving others and sharing His love. 

3) LISTEN TO HIS VOICE- I just touched on this, but it needs to be said again. THE SAME SPIRIT THAT RAISED CHRIST FROM THE DEAD DWELLS IN YOU. There is nothing that you cannot face because the very Spirit of God dwells in you. Life and truth are in your spiritual DNA now. By choosing to listen to the voice of God, we stop listening to the lies of the enemy and the lies we tell ourselves. We become free from them and dependent on God. This is what is called a "Mystery" because in Christ real freedom means complete dependence and surrender to God. 

4) HOLD FAST- The world will bombard you. The enemy will try and shake you. Hold fast. Hold fast the profession of your faith. Stand tall knowing that God is your Father. He is faithful. His love never fails. God may not remove you from your circumstances, but He will give you the strength to get through them. This is  one way to bring God the glory: by doing the hard thing and taking it on the chin in faith.  Knowing that God has our lives in His hands, we can trust and hold fast against any storm or fiery dart that is flung our way. 

Join the Conversation

True Confessions Time: I came clean about one of my lies. What about you? What lie have you told you want to "come clean" about right now? Tell us your story in the comments below.  

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If you liked this you may like the rest of the series. Here are the links for the other posts: 

The Truth is Out There

"Control Freak" 

"The Leap of Faith" 

"Bad Parent"

"Good Christian" 

"Shoulder Meet Chip"

"Good Wifey"

"I'm a Nobody"

"What do You Say?"

True Confessions of a Christian Blogger

Photo Credit: Creative Commons

Let's Get Real

In the moments when I feel undone, when I am at the end of my self and feel unable to give anything else, I learn that God’s grace is truly sufficient.

By writing almost every day I have learned more of what I do believe and what I have yet to learn. I have reached the end of “me” many times since starting this blog. Every time that has happened, God has honored His word, and His grace was enough.

Writing is not glamorous. Sometimes, it isn’t even fun. Yet, when I do not write I feel like I have missed something; like dreaming you have no pants on at work, which is just weird.

The last nine months have stretched me like never before. I have worried about comma splices and I have worried about hacking up the Word. I have worked out my faith in front of you and I have struggled. I have shown you the world’s most unflattering picture of myself on this blog and I have been raw and open about my past and about my present.

Soon the year will be up. I have only a few more months to share with you and I wonder if I should continue doing this beyond that time.

I have written about marriage issues in the church, how to set priorities, finding your purpose, following your dreams, and my everyday foibles. Some posts have gotten wonderful responses, and some things have barely registered.

I have never “gone viral” but I have typed away while battling a virus. I have gotten up at five a.m. and I have prayed over this endeavor many times.

Now, I am sick of “I”.

How do I write stories that are effective? How do I reach more people? Should I keep doing more of the same or should I stop when the year is up?

When I read Jon Acuff’s Quitter I burned from within to get to the “next” thing. Then I read You are a Writer by Jeff Goins and I knew I am a writer, and this is what I was called to do. Next came Michael Hyatt and Platform. I began to focus on building an audience, on gathering a following, on publishing my name.

I am sorry. 

I am not enough. I never was and never will be. I am not the solution to any problem; I am not some all-knowing swami, and I am not some big time minister: I am just me, Dayna.

I struggle with my temper and my kids have their own set of issues and rebellions. I struggle with maintaining friendships and over the course of the last nine months I feel like I have turned into a whiney baby. You have been there through it all. Thanks for that.

If you have gotten anything out of this blog, and I hope you have, I want you to know, it has very little to do with me and everything to do with my Father.

He gave me a gift. I have struggled to use it correctly. He has given me favor where I deserved none. He has given me ideas when my mind was bogged down by emotional clutter.

Ultimately, He will be the one that says keep going forward or stop. For now, we have three more months together, and I will keep plugging away to bring you content that hopefully speaks to you.

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True Confessions: I Laughed Loudly

Blake Weir as Jack Chesney, Kevin Dean as Lord Fancourt Babberly, and Marty Blair 

as Charley Wykeham Photo by Bara Photography, used by CC licence. 

Ladies’ Night Out

My church family is filled with women from all walks of life. I love that. I love even more that we got to spend time together this weekend.

About 30 women loaded into large vans to do one thing: spend time together and get to know one another better.

Crazy, right?

There was once a time in my life when I could not imagine deliberately hanging out with women. I considered this torture. It is amazing how much God can change things!

After a wonderful meal prepared by a few women in one of the ladies’ home, we loaded back into the vans, and headed into the city to see the AD Players’ perform “Charley’s Aunt”.

Now if you know me or have read “Turn Down that Noise” then you know how loud I can be. I have been shushed many times in my life, and some of those times have been over my laugh.

I vowed to try and tone it down while on this outing. I did not want to seem obnoxious. I do not laugh loudly to gain attention, it is simply my laugh.

The AD Players, specifically the cast of Charley’s Aunt, had something else in mind. The characters were wonderfully brought to life by the cast, and my favorite characters are pictured above. Of course the women of this play were delightful as well and you can see for yourself if you live in the Houston, Texas, area.

This delightful comedy is an old fashion mix of romance and buffoonery and I loved every minute of it. I laughed.

Loudly.

Many times.

I am not exaggerating in the least. At the conclusion of this wonderful play, the cast took their bow and thanked the audience. Then they took a moment to thank the woman stage right who especially liked the play (ME!) and promised that I was not a plant, though perhaps they should consider hiring me to come to more plays! Almost every woman I was with that night laughed at that.

To my delight, Blake Weir, who played Jack Chesney, came to the foyer of the theater to meet the woman who nearly made him and other cast members break character! I gushed.

The one thing this delightful experience taught me is to be myself. I thought I had learned that lesson already, but I guess I had not.

Why am I telling you this?

I am sharing this story because first the AD Players deserve the shout out for a job well done, but foremost I am telling you this because I know I am not alone.

I know I am not the only one that has tried to change who they are to try and fit in. I know I am not the only one who finds one of their personality traits annoying or embarrassing. If I can embrace my raucous laugh, you can learn to embrace your personality too! Be who God made you to be, love Him with all your heart, your soul and your might, and rest in the fact that you were designed uniquely for a reason.

If you laugh loudly, laugh joyfully. Be you.

Question: In what way have you tried to fit in before? Leave your comment below.


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