NO MORE LIES Part 10: Stop the 'Lie' Cycle

Today is the last installment in this Ten-Part series "No More Lies" and I think it is the biggest lie yet. 

Lie 10: I don't lie. 

Whether in small ways or big ones I have battled with lying my whole life. After all, we live in a broken world whose prince is the father of all lies. 

When I was a kid, if I feared consequence, I lied. If I wanted attention, I lied. If I was ashamed of myself or someone else, I lied. If I forgot my homework, I lied. If I wanted something, I lied. 

My competitive nature did not help this tendency. 

At twelve I was a gangling girl who'd rather play sports than with dolls. One day, at softball practice, I got caught in a lie. I do not know where this lie came from, or why I told such an extravagant or obvious lie, but I did. The other girls were whining about how bad they had it and I had to one up them. So I opened my mouth and out popped a lie so bad I am a little ashamed to tell you. 

I said "My dad was so mad at me once he chased me around the kitchen with a knife." 

NEVER HAPPENED. 

But, I thought it had a sense of flare and was sufficient to be the most dramatic thing said that day. In other words, I topped all the other stories those girls were telling and that meant I had won.  

Except I hadn't. 

When my dad came to pick me up from practice he was surrounded by well-intentioned and extremely concerned parents. As he should of been if what I had said was true... but it wasn't. The shame he must of felt for being lied about was probably completely overshadowed by his righteous anger....or at least I imagine that is how he felt. As a parent myself now, I think that is the least of how I would feel. 

That is the kind of stuff I pulled as a kid. As an adult, those kinds of "whoppers" became less of a problem and were replaced by something more sinister. The little insidious lies that became part of my lore, my "back story" and then those horrible little lies I told myself. 

"It won't matter if you eat this whole bag of chips, you are an adult. You can do what you want." or "What right does your husband have to tell you what to do? You are a grown woman." 

Lies like these mask themselves as "independence" and "individuality", but they are dangerous. When I choose these lies over truth I am choosing death over life. 

Choose Life

"This day I call the heavens and the earth as witnesses against you that I have set before you life and death, blessings and curses. Now choose life, so that you and your children may live and that you may love the Lord your God, listen to his voice, and hold fast to him. For the Lord is your life, and he will give you many years in the land he swore to give to your fathers, Abraham, Isaac and Jacob." Deuteronomy 30-19-20 

I may not be a child of Israel, but I am a child of God, and God never changes. His character and very nature is love and truth. When I lie I am counteracting the very nature of God, which He put on the inside of me when I accepted Christ. 

So how do we stop this cycle? 

The answer is in those verses above. 

1) WE CHOOSE - this is harder than it sounds, but obviously it can be done, or we would not have received free will in the first place. God has always given us the choice. He has always wanted us to choose Him, because He is life. 

2)  LOVE GOD - this means taking the time to get to know Him and spending time lavishing your love on Him. Spend time in prayer and worship. Spend time reading the Word. We are blessed unlike the generations before Christ in that we have the Spirit of God dwelling in us. This allows us to know God like never before. By communing with God we love him, but more so we love Him by loving others and sharing His love. 

3) LISTEN TO HIS VOICE- I just touched on this, but it needs to be said again. THE SAME SPIRIT THAT RAISED CHRIST FROM THE DEAD DWELLS IN YOU. There is nothing that you cannot face because the very Spirit of God dwells in you. Life and truth are in your spiritual DNA now. By choosing to listen to the voice of God, we stop listening to the lies of the enemy and the lies we tell ourselves. We become free from them and dependent on God. This is what is called a "Mystery" because in Christ real freedom means complete dependence and surrender to God. 

4) HOLD FAST- The world will bombard you. The enemy will try and shake you. Hold fast. Hold fast the profession of your faith. Stand tall knowing that God is your Father. He is faithful. His love never fails. God may not remove you from your circumstances, but He will give you the strength to get through them. This is  one way to bring God the glory: by doing the hard thing and taking it on the chin in faith.  Knowing that God has our lives in His hands, we can trust and hold fast against any storm or fiery dart that is flung our way. 

Join the Conversation

True Confessions Time: I came clean about one of my lies. What about you? What lie have you told you want to "come clean" about right now? Tell us your story in the comments below.  

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If you liked this you may like the rest of the series. Here are the links for the other posts: 

The Truth is Out There

"Control Freak" 

"The Leap of Faith" 

"Bad Parent"

"Good Christian" 

"Shoulder Meet Chip"

"Good Wifey"

"I'm a Nobody"

"What do You Say?"

The Truth is Out There

Photo Credit: Creative Commons

How it Began

The phone rang. I don't know why I picked it up. I was only six. I wasn't allowed to answer the phone, but everyone was outside, and I knew--somehow I just knew-- my mom was on the other side of that phone. It would be her.

It was. My parents had been divorced for a year, and this was the first call I had gotten from her. I tucked into myself a little. Afraid of getting caught on the phone, I whispered. When my Dad walked around the corner and saw me there- little hands gripping the phone for dear life- he asked me who it was on the line. Then it happened. 

~ I lied. 

It was the first lie I ever remember telling. He knew it was a lie the minute it left my lips. It began a pattern that followed me the rest of my life. One I still fight today. 

Over the years I have lied about many things. Some big, some small. Some lies were told to stay out of trouble, while others were told to fit in. Some lies are by omission. Some were told just because, and some were told so many times that they became my "back story"... a part of my history. Ingrained into me as if they were the truth. 

Danger! 

Big lies or small, they are all dangerous. Pervasive like a black crawling death lies creep in and begin to choke the life out of you. They box us in and weigh us down. They pull at us, and create gut wrenching fear and anxiety. They are the problem, not the solution. 

Big or small though, there are some lies that are more dangerous than others. The lies we tell others are bad. "No, you look great in that dress" is not always the truth, but the lies that are more dangerous than anything are the lies we tell ourselves. 

Those lies leave us debilitated and crippled. Those lies leave us feeling inadequate and isolated. Those lies, if exposed, would be seen for the insidious things they are: harbingers of death, because they come from the enemy: the father of all lies. 

"You are of your father the devil, and your will is to do your father's desires. He was a murderer from the beginning, and does not stand in the truth, because there is no truth in him. When he lies, he speaks out of his own character, for he is a liar and the father of lies." John 8:44 ESV

Peeling Back the Onion 

There are ten lies I have told myself for a long time. I have believed them. Somehow, someway, they were told to me once and I claimed them as my own. They have become ingrained and I must carve them out. Over the next five posts I am going to cover these lies. Perhaps you will identify with some of them. Perhaps you will share with me something that I have not covered. 

I am not doing this to point out I am better or worse than anyone else. I am simply being honest, sharing my struggles, so you can see that life is hard, even when you are a Christian. 

I do not know where this will go. I am not trying to create doctrine or teach on lying. I am just going to share the nitty-gritty and hope that I can begin to overcome these lies and find freedom in the truth. 

"And ye shall know the truth, and the truth shall make you free" John 8:32

Join the Conversation

What is the first lie you can remember telling?