My Failure as A Parent: The Apple Doesn't Fall Far

Photo Credit: Creative Commons

Sometimes being a parent is not fun. 

There are moments, like last night, that I want to run screaming from the building pulling out my hair along the way.

My kids can be demanding, they can be obstinate, and they can be difficult.

They are, after all, part of my gene pool.

My dad always said grandchildren would be his revenge. I get what he meant now.

The fight between my youngest was over something insignificant. I could not care less about the "thing" she wanted. Her attitude was what affected me the most. She thought she deserved an equal amount of something. She had a right to that thing, and somehow her "rights" were being ignored.

My anger flared, because I know just how wrong she was. Not because I am always right, but because I have been in the same place as her and I know how important it is for her to "get it".

She felt entitled. This entitlement attitude is dangerous and one we have not tried to cultivate, but somehow my children have developed.

This got me thinking....

How often do we come at God like this?

We are His children. His kids can be demanding, obstinate and difficult.  They are, after all, part of the fallen world and like their father Adam.

How often have we heard, "I am mad at God?" or "God doesn't hear my prayers" or "If God loved me, He wouldn't have let my wife die."  Similar statements have been uttered countless times in countless variations.

These come from a place of entitlement. Entitlement is dangerous.

Entitlement says "I have the right to be given something".

The Nature of Gifts

Before we were in Christ we were dead.

The dead have no rights.

Everything we receive from God at this point (while dead) is a gift. Then when we come to know the saving grace of God through Christ we are alive, but since we are bought with a price, we are not our own and we still have no rights. Everything we have is still a gift.

For our gifts we should be thankful. Gratitude is a skill. It is not an easy one to learn. Why? Because you can not be grateful and humble at the same time. It is a lesson God is teaching me through my children right now.

I guess my heart is being checked, and it has come up short. If I could rip it out of my chest and wash it under a waterfall I would, but even that would not be clean enough for my God. He deserves the best me. Thankfully, He provided the remedy.

He washes me white as snow. He examines my heart, and if there is a spot or a wrinkle, He washes me again with His love and Word.

He corrects His children because He loves us.

This Too Shall Pass

I will survive the latest uproar with my kids.

I will also endeavor to teach them this lesson: First, we are not owed anything, and second to be grateful for what we have with a humble heart.

I will also press in so that my Father can show me where I fall short, and pray that I have a contrite heart along the way.

Thank You

Thank you for letting me rant. You let me drag my pain and rawness out in front of you. My life is not pretty in these moments and it is made up of more of these moments than you know. Writing this story down and sharing it with you has let me work through it. It has helped remind me of all the times when I have "got it" and how God has changed me in the process.

My hope is that by sharing, you can be changed too. I am praying for you. Please pray for me.

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