My Moving Story: Dealing with a Bad Temper

Yes, this is my floor. Arrrggggh! 

I hate moving things. 

Furniture, boxes, and carting back and forth is annoying to me. I especially hate moving large things like refrigerators, washers and dryers. 

Then, in one month we get a new refrigerator and a new washer and dryer. (New for us anyway.) 

Thank you Lord for providing such wonderful gifts. 

Yet, they sat in the garage for a few weeks, because getting them in and out of the house required rearranging and cleaning and Randy and I were being lazy. 

The truth is, my family hates having me move things too. I get cranky. No, I get down right irritable. I grumble, I gripe, I sometimes (often) yell. 

I do not know why I am that way. I get frustrated with the "a little more to your right" and "I think I can make it fit" statements that usually end up with someone being slightly injured or some giant whole created where there should never be one. Case in point: my floor this weekend. 

I was not a happy camper. Yep, that is my laminate floor with a giant rip in it right by the front door. Since this runs through my whole house, it would be almost impossible to match (since it is years old) and expensive to replace. I can honestly say I was angry. 

So angry I almost said a naughty word. 

I didn't. Barely. 

My Issue 

Everyone has their issues, and one of mine is a temper. I admit it. Feeling anger is okay. There is a way to feel angry and not loose it. Right now I can honestly say, I do not always win the battle when it comes to emotions. 

We all are human. We all have emotions. I know how hard it is to rein in those feelings, but if we do not control them, they end up controlling us. 

"Wherefore putting away lying, speak every man truth with his neighbor for we are members one of another. Be ye angry, and sin not: let not the sun go down upon your wrath: neither give place to the devil." Ephesians 4:25-27

Unchecked anger leads to strife and where there is strife, the Bible says "there is every evil work". We cannot expect our lives to be bastions of Christian tranquility when inside we seethe in anger. 

I had to take a break from the moving in order to get myself under control. Then I had to apologize to my husband, who witnessed my "venting" of emotion. Let's face it, he was not the witness, he was the target of my anger. That was not right. That is why he deserved an apology. 

When I asked him to forgive me and apologized for acting so poorly, he said "At least you recognize you do it now. For years you did not even know you did this, and it made things difficult."  

For years...translation: my whole marriage. More than 18 years Randy has put up with my fly off the handle temper. Wow..... 

In the scheme of all things eternal: in matters of life and death, this whole in my flooring does not matter. It will not keep anyone from hearing the Gospel and it will not save anyone's soul. When I think of it this way, I see that it is just a temporal thing and I can let go of the anger I felt without thinking twice. 

God is changing me. Bit by bit. He can change you too. Just yield to Him. Ask Him to show you the things that are holding you back, and making your life harder than it needs to be. It isn't easy looking into God's mirror. It shows us exactly where we fall short. That is why grace is so amazing. It fills in the gap and makes a way for love to work in us until we are perfected. (I will let you know if I ever get there.....but you will be waiting a LONG time.) 

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My Failure as A Parent: The Apple Doesn't Fall Far

Photo Credit: Creative Commons

Sometimes being a parent is not fun. 

There are moments, like last night, that I want to run screaming from the building pulling out my hair along the way.

My kids can be demanding, they can be obstinate, and they can be difficult.

They are, after all, part of my gene pool.

My dad always said grandchildren would be his revenge. I get what he meant now.

The fight between my youngest was over something insignificant. I could not care less about the "thing" she wanted. Her attitude was what affected me the most. She thought she deserved an equal amount of something. She had a right to that thing, and somehow her "rights" were being ignored.

My anger flared, because I know just how wrong she was. Not because I am always right, but because I have been in the same place as her and I know how important it is for her to "get it".

She felt entitled. This entitlement attitude is dangerous and one we have not tried to cultivate, but somehow my children have developed.

This got me thinking....

How often do we come at God like this?

We are His children. His kids can be demanding, obstinate and difficult.  They are, after all, part of the fallen world and like their father Adam.

How often have we heard, "I am mad at God?" or "God doesn't hear my prayers" or "If God loved me, He wouldn't have let my wife die."  Similar statements have been uttered countless times in countless variations.

These come from a place of entitlement. Entitlement is dangerous.

Entitlement says "I have the right to be given something".

The Nature of Gifts

Before we were in Christ we were dead.

The dead have no rights.

Everything we receive from God at this point (while dead) is a gift. Then when we come to know the saving grace of God through Christ we are alive, but since we are bought with a price, we are not our own and we still have no rights. Everything we have is still a gift.

For our gifts we should be thankful. Gratitude is a skill. It is not an easy one to learn. Why? Because you can not be grateful and humble at the same time. It is a lesson God is teaching me through my children right now.

I guess my heart is being checked, and it has come up short. If I could rip it out of my chest and wash it under a waterfall I would, but even that would not be clean enough for my God. He deserves the best me. Thankfully, He provided the remedy.

He washes me white as snow. He examines my heart, and if there is a spot or a wrinkle, He washes me again with His love and Word.

He corrects His children because He loves us.

This Too Shall Pass

I will survive the latest uproar with my kids.

I will also endeavor to teach them this lesson: First, we are not owed anything, and second to be grateful for what we have with a humble heart.

I will also press in so that my Father can show me where I fall short, and pray that I have a contrite heart along the way.

Thank You

Thank you for letting me rant. You let me drag my pain and rawness out in front of you. My life is not pretty in these moments and it is made up of more of these moments than you know. Writing this story down and sharing it with you has let me work through it. It has helped remind me of all the times when I have "got it" and how God has changed me in the process.

My hope is that by sharing, you can be changed too. I am praying for you. Please pray for me.

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Does God use your kids to talk to you?


Like what you read here?  More great content is available several times a week, but I understand how busy you are. That is why I offer a free newsletter that sends you an email of the same great content straight to your inbox! You won't have to worry about missing a thing. I will never share your information with anyone, and if you sign up today, you can get a free copy of my children's eBook The Gardener and the Sapling: A Modern Parable. Click the link below and subscribe now!

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