My Moving Story: Dealing with a Bad Temper

Yes, this is my floor. Arrrggggh! 

I hate moving things. 

Furniture, boxes, and carting back and forth is annoying to me. I especially hate moving large things like refrigerators, washers and dryers. 

Then, in one month we get a new refrigerator and a new washer and dryer. (New for us anyway.) 

Thank you Lord for providing such wonderful gifts. 

Yet, they sat in the garage for a few weeks, because getting them in and out of the house required rearranging and cleaning and Randy and I were being lazy. 

The truth is, my family hates having me move things too. I get cranky. No, I get down right irritable. I grumble, I gripe, I sometimes (often) yell. 

I do not know why I am that way. I get frustrated with the "a little more to your right" and "I think I can make it fit" statements that usually end up with someone being slightly injured or some giant whole created where there should never be one. Case in point: my floor this weekend. 

I was not a happy camper. Yep, that is my laminate floor with a giant rip in it right by the front door. Since this runs through my whole house, it would be almost impossible to match (since it is years old) and expensive to replace. I can honestly say I was angry. 

So angry I almost said a naughty word. 

I didn't. Barely. 

My Issue 

Everyone has their issues, and one of mine is a temper. I admit it. Feeling anger is okay. There is a way to feel angry and not loose it. Right now I can honestly say, I do not always win the battle when it comes to emotions. 

We all are human. We all have emotions. I know how hard it is to rein in those feelings, but if we do not control them, they end up controlling us. 

"Wherefore putting away lying, speak every man truth with his neighbor for we are members one of another. Be ye angry, and sin not: let not the sun go down upon your wrath: neither give place to the devil." Ephesians 4:25-27

Unchecked anger leads to strife and where there is strife, the Bible says "there is every evil work". We cannot expect our lives to be bastions of Christian tranquility when inside we seethe in anger. 

I had to take a break from the moving in order to get myself under control. Then I had to apologize to my husband, who witnessed my "venting" of emotion. Let's face it, he was not the witness, he was the target of my anger. That was not right. That is why he deserved an apology. 

When I asked him to forgive me and apologized for acting so poorly, he said "At least you recognize you do it now. For years you did not even know you did this, and it made things difficult."  

For years...translation: my whole marriage. More than 18 years Randy has put up with my fly off the handle temper. Wow..... 

In the scheme of all things eternal: in matters of life and death, this whole in my flooring does not matter. It will not keep anyone from hearing the Gospel and it will not save anyone's soul. When I think of it this way, I see that it is just a temporal thing and I can let go of the anger I felt without thinking twice. 

God is changing me. Bit by bit. He can change you too. Just yield to Him. Ask Him to show you the things that are holding you back, and making your life harder than it needs to be. It isn't easy looking into God's mirror. It shows us exactly where we fall short. That is why grace is so amazing. It fills in the gap and makes a way for love to work in us until we are perfected. (I will let you know if I ever get there.....but you will be waiting a LONG time.) 

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Join the Conversation: 

Do you struggle with your emotions? Share your thoughts below.  

Developing Your Automatic Truth Response!

My Heart Broke

Recently I spoke to someone who described themselves as unhappy. This was a believer, and a strong woman of faith. She is more than unhappy, she is depressed. I heard her pain, and that is real, but I believe there is a way through. After all, we serve a BIG God! 

I Understand 

My husband and I both have battled depression. This is something that I can spend quite a bit of time talking about. I believe that  depression for the Christian does occur, but there is a way to conquer it and never have to deal with it again.

We get depressed when circumstances and fear exalt themselves above our trust in God. Our doubt allows us to become overwhelmed and over-taken. When this happens, we often do not see any way out. 

A Matter of Perspective 

Let’s look at the 12 spies that went into the Promised Land. (Numbers 13-14) Per God’s instructions Moses sent out 12 spies and they all saw the same things: giants, and milk and honey. In other words they all saw obstacles/circumstance and they all saw God’s promises, but 10 came back choosing to focus only on the circumstances and 2 came choosing to focus on God’s promises. The fate of a nation was delayed 40 years because they had their focus in the wrong place.

We are three parts. God likes threes. God - The Father, The Son, The Holy Spirit. See? Three. We are a spirit, we live in a body and we have a soul which is made up of our mind, will, and emotions. 

Depression is a soul issue.

Dictionary-Online defines depression as this: ‘sadness, gloom, dejection’ and goes onto define it as a ‘condition of general emotional withdrawal’. All of these things are a part of the soul, our mind, will, and emotions. (Remember, that we have talked about condition versus position before, and for more on that click here.)

Romans 12:2 says we must renew our mind. We must think and dwell on the things God says, not the lies we allow in our lives, those lies we tell ourselves, and that the enemy, Satan, the father of lies, tells us. Meditate day and night.

The Practical Application of the Spiritual Message

So let’s talk about how we do that. First, get the word in you. Read and listen to the Word daily. Faith comes by hearing and hearing and hearing and hearing…..get the point? Then we must remind ourselves what the Word says throughout our day to day walking around life: our feed the baby, shop for groceries, and drop kids off at the mall- life. This is how you meditate on the Word day and night.

For me it is like a vitamin I take daily to build up my immunity. We boost our immunity physically by feeding our bodies good things and taking care of it regularly, right? And when our body is in working order and a foreign virus enters we have an automatic response to get rid of the thing that does not belong. We must be the same when we have encounters with lies. I call it an Automatic Truth Response  or ATR. 

LIE or CIRCUMSTANCE	WHAT GOD SAYS- the ATR
YOU ARE SICK	GOD IS HEALER
YOU ARE UNABLE	GOD IS MORE THAN ABLE
YOU DON’T HAVE ENOUGH	GOD IS MORE THAN ENOUGH

What God says is what we should say, believe, act on, and walk out in our lives daily. It should become our ATR. Focus on God more and the problems less.

Let’s look at what happens when we DON’T develop this ATR.

A thought (idea) becomes a high thought (something we think about with regularity) then we begin day dreaming about the thought, playing out scenarios in our heads (Imaginations) and before you know it we are in a strong hold of the enemy, all brought on by a little thought we did not take captive in the first place. We have given a foothold to the devil. (2 Corinthians 10:3-5)

Now we feel like we are helpless in our circumstances. We would rather disobey God’s will for us and wander in a desert for 40 years, barely existing, than battling through our circumstances and enjoying the milk and honey. Now we are depressed and taking a pill to get through the day and we don’t seem to know how we got here.

We need to WAKE UP! For a lack of knowledge God’s people perish (die!!!!).

2^nd Corinthians 10 is clear! We must cast down anything that exalts itself above God.  Proverbs 23:7 says as a man thinks in his heart, so is he.  “Cast down” in Strong’s Concordance (2507) means pull down, lower, and to take authority over!

A Real-time Example of Authority

Recently a friend of mine told her six year old about authority. After having a bad dream that scared the child, his mother wanted not just to comfort him, but to teach him to overcome fear and the enemy. So she reminded him about the times she gave him instructions to tell his little brother something on her behalf. It could have been something as simple as clean up a mess, or to stop throwing a toy, but what was said was not as important as the authority behind it. “Mom said!” It is the same with the enemy. Any lie or circumstance that exalts itself above God, that brings fear or doubt into your life - you must take authority over it and tell it “Daddy says!”

Our authority comes because we are the righteousness of God in Christ. We are the head and not the tail. Our authority comes because THE SAME SPIRIT that raised Christ from the dead lives in us!

The Physicality of A Mind and Heart Battle

When I was a smoker, quitting was not easy. Sometimes I still remember the temporary satisfaction I got from a cigarette. When I do I cast it down. I remind myself that God is my refuge, not a pack of Marlboros. I remind myself that I am the temple of the Holy Spirit, not a blackened lung from a health class poster circa 1990. I say that I am bigger and better than that cigarette because the God of the universe made me and that cigarettes were made by man. THIS WORKS!

What Christ did on the cross is freely given and we can freely receive that, but real freedom from strongholds like I am talking about comes after a battle FOUGHT AND WON! That is freedom that will not be wasted. That is freedom that reflects in our everyday life and shines like a beacon on a hill and draws the lost toward Jesus!

I do not mean to sound so strident. I only want you to find freedom from depression and anxiety. Do not believe the lies. Do not be overwhelmed. Rest in God’s authority and cast down anything that tries to make itself bigger than God in your life and you will OVERCOME! You will have a Breakthrough! Depression will no longer hold you in its talons. 

Join the Conversation: 

I mentioned my husband and I have battled depression before. My husband still does. What get's you through every day? 

Like what you read here? More great content is available several times a week, but I understand how busy you are. That is why I offer a free newsletter that sends you an email of the same great content straight to your inbox! You won't have to worry about missing a thing. I will never share your information with anyone, and if you sign up today, you can get a free copy of my children's eBook The Gardener and the Sapling: A Modern Parable. Click the link below and subscribe now!

Subscribe to our newsletter

Stay on Target

Photo Credit: Creative Commons

When the Walls Are Crumbling 

Nehemiah 8:10b (NLT) “Don’t be dejected and sad, for the joy of the LORD is your strength!”

When our walls are torn down around us, like Nehemiah describes, and our enemies seem to press in on us, it is easy to give way to dejection and sadness. 

We have this problem you see: we believe in the illusion of control, mainly that we have some.

We don’t. 

Not over circumstances, not over other people’s opinions, not over our kids, not over our spouses. 

Stay on Target! Stay on Target!

I picture my life as an old-fashioned target. I am the middle, my immediate family is one ring out, then the next ring is work/church friends, the next ring acquaintances and local community and the outer ring, the world at large. 

Can I control what happens on the first ring or the second? NO! I can only influence. The only thing I can control is in that center space; the bull’s-eye: aka ME. 

So when things are not going the way we think they should, the way we planned them to be, feelings like dejection, sadness, despair, loneliness, fear, and anguish are common. 

These emotions are a part of living in a broken world. But releasing these to God is what allows us to become free. Jesus said in Matthew 16:24 we must deny ourselves. In this society that seems like a tall order, but therein lies real freedom and joy. 

Preaching to myself...

I am in no way saying I have this down…no way. I am speaking to myself here as well. Emotions are heady things, but they are not what should control us. But emotions are a soul issue that needs to be conquered. 

We are not supposed to be quick to anger. (Proverbs 15:18) I am guilty of that one. 

We are supposed to use soft words to turn other’s wrath away, ummm, haven’t perfected that yet. (Proverbs 15:1) 

We are supposed to never go to bed angry, failed at that one a time or two in nearly 18 years of marriage. (Ephesians 4:26) 

We are not supposed to be tossed by every wave, (Matthew 14:24) yet many of us, and I include myself; have ridden the emotional roller coasters that frankly leave us with emotional whiplash. 

Think about it! 

What we DO have control over is our thoughts. We have to make a   conscious effort to turn our thoughts away from the tumultuous emotions, and remember what God says.

Philippians 4:8 says “Finally, brethren, whatsoever things are true, whatsoever things are honest, whatsoever things are just, whatsoever things are pure, whatsoever things are lovely, whatsoever things are of good report; if there be any virtue, and if there be any praise, think on these things.” 

Some emotions if allowed to fester bring on conditions that can have effects on our health and relationships. Depression is something I know about. Both my husband and I have battled it. This is no easy thing. 

It is not just you! 

The psalmist David knew what this was too: first, seeing King Saul go through depression, and then his battle with it later in life.

Depression is living in that head space that allows unchecked thoughts and emotions to grow into a debilitating condition, that if not stopped can rob you of more than your joy, it can rob you of your life. Psalms 94:19 says “In the multitude of my thoughts within me thy comforts delight my soul.” 

We are a spirit, we live in a body, and we have a soul. God is concerned foremost with the spirit, but He comforts our soul. (Our mind, our will and our EMOTIONS) 

Hebrews 4:12 says “For the word of God is quick, and powerful, and sharper than any two-edged sword, piercing even to the dividing asunder of soul and spirit, and of the joints and marrow, and is a discerner of the thoughts and intents of the heart."

A Child of the King

Reigning in emotions is a battle I believe that every human, while on this earth, has an issue with, no matter who they are. However, if you know WHOSE you are you can learn to rely less on them and more on the Father and His word. John 15:11 “These things have I spoken unto you, that my joy might remain in you, and that your joy might be full.” 

I know it has been said many times, many different ways, but LET GO AND LET GOD! Let God free you of every hindrance in your life, every fetter that holds you down, and let the chains of emotional baggage fall away as you (and I) turn our eyes toward Him. 

So Stay on target and remember that aim is a verb. 

Question: 

Do you have a hard time taming your emotions? Leave a comment below. 

IF anyone you know is battling depression, please seek the advice of a medical professional. If someone you know is suicidal, call or go online to the National Suicide Hotline at http://suicidehotlines.com/national.html 1-800-273-TALK (8255).