CAUGHT IN THE MIDDLE

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I walk a fine line. 

I am caught between the world and my home. 

I long for moments with my Father: moments when His grace and love are so real that my heart breaks and my knees weaken and my voice cries out. These are the moments I live for. Intimate moments. Moments when I not only tell my Father that I love Him, but I hear Him whisper back to me. 

I hear His song...  of love, of grace, and of change. 

Then there are the times when I am bogged down by this world. Bills, and kids, and salesmen knocking on the door all distract me from what my heart longs to do. 

Now I know why Paul remained single. 

Not that I would give up my husband or my children. I love them and I know they are gifts from my Father. I am grateful for these things. 

I am also human. I am selfish. I want... more. 

More of God in my life. More people hearing about Jesus, More love, more power, more of God in me. I am selfish. 

My heart cries out. My heart yearns to see peoples lives turned around! I want my children to burn with passion for Jesus. I long for my husband to live in the freedom God has designed just for him. 

Opening my heart up, and giving God more of me than I ever have before, I surrender it all. 

My pain. Here it is... 

My joy, belongs to Him. 

My hope, wrapped up in His hands. 

My future, my calling, my life.... all His. 

I surrender. Everything! 

I do not know what will happen. I only know what I want to happen. It won't always go the way I plan. I will face disappointment and heartache. I will have trials, hardships, and difficulties. The difference is now, I am not alone. 

Romans 8:28 says "And we know that all things work together for good to them that love God, to them who are the called according to his purpose."

God has a purpose. Nothing that happens in my life can derail that purpose as long as I am surrendered to Him. As long as I seek Him first, all that I need will be added. I will not want. I will find rest. My joy will remain, and even more, it will be full. 

I am amazed. 

I stand in awe of God's goodness and His faithfulness. 

I hope you know this same awe. I hope that you know what surrender is like. Like floating on your back in a  cool pool while the sun warms your face... 

Here is a song that I hope ministers to you. 

The Importance of a Friend!

We all have bad days. I know this. I have been there, done that, and had a kid throw up on the tee-shirt. I never want to be accused of living with my head in the clouds and my feet not planted in reality. (I just know in whom I have believed and know that He is able to do above and beyond all I could ask or think and am persuaded that He is good, and He is God. In Him is the final authority for all things and therefore my reality! - MAN! What a mash up of scripture, but so true!) 

As a matter of circumstance, (I say circumstance not fact, because the fact is that I should not be moved so easily by the things that beset me) I had a bad day yesterday: a really bad day. That is until I talked with a friend.

The type of friends you have in your life is extremely important. They can lead you to death or to life. Let’s look at Job 16:20. Job’s friends laughed at him when he was in his weakest emotional, physical and financial state all because He chose to trust in God. If he had followed his friend’s horrible advice, he would have cursed God and died a spiritual death (because God would not allow him to die in the natural at this time). Not the kind of friends I want to surround myself with.

Proverbs 11:30 says “A wise person wins friends.” And Proverbs 12:26 says “godly friends give good advice to one another” and that the “wicked lead them away”.

1 Thessalonians 5:11 (Amplified) says

Therefore encourage (admonish, exhort) one another and edify (strengthen and build up) one another, just as you are doing.  

Edify in the Strong’s Concordance (3618) is build a house, build up from the foundation, establish, to promote growth, wisdom and grace in one another. Encourage (Comfort in the King James Strong’s 3870) means to call to one’s side to speak to with the intent to edify, to exhort, to comfort, to instruct.

These are the traits of a real friend. They promote growth in us. They challenge us when we are wrong to repent, to dig into the word, and to question why we believe the way we believe. A real friend, when they see us do wrong, does not turn a blind eye, but calls us on it. 2 Corinthians 13:11 says “be joyful, grow to maturity, encourage one another, live in harmony and peace, THEN the God of love and peace will be with you.” Having Godly friends that encourage you is a sign of growth and maturity in us. It teaches us to walk in harmony and peace.

Colossians 3:16 says we are supposed to teach one another and admonish one another in psalms, hymns, spiritual songs, and singing with grace in your hearts to the Lord. Look, I don’t expect your life to be filled with your friends bursting into song like the Christian version of “Glee” (For me that would be fine, but I am weird as my friends know and tell me - often) but I believe that God expects us to encourage one another by worshipping together, sharing our personal revelations and urging one another to acts of faith.

Despite the many times I have been accused of this, I do not know it all, and I need someone to teach me. So today, in the midst of my “bad” day, I went to a friend. She understood my frustrations and she even let me ramble for a while about my “problems”, but then she cut me off, and was a godly friend. She admonished me to love, to understand, to pray, and to reclaim the territory I gave the enemy today in my wrongdoing. She instructed, she admonished, and she loved.

By the time I left, I was laughing, full of the Joy of the Lord, and ready to face today. She inspired this post. If the JOY of the Lord is our strength, then good friends are the “work-out partners” that help us ‘bulk up’ in our faith.

To have a friend, we must be friendly. Be a godly friend, and you will find godly friends.  

Be blessed and be a blessing, and remember that friend is a noun! 

Forgiveness- The Hardest Lesson I Have Ever Had to Learn

I saw a church sign that made me laugh, it said “Don’t give up! Moses was once a basket case!”

I needed that giggle. There are moments when I feel like I have taken the short bus, missed the boat, and in general missed the mark. In those times, I have to stop and evaluate what it is I am hearing in my mind. I have to decide if I am hearing the prompting of the Spirit, myself, or the voice of an enemy that seeks to steal (my joy) kill (my dreams) and destroy (me). So let me share with you my struggles and triumphs today.

Around eight years ago, my parents and I had a falling out. It was years in the making, like a good (or bad) fruit cake it had many ingredients and layers of flavor. My father and I said things that were ugly: some true and some untrue and all of it was wrapped around my offences and sense of rejection.

In the last eight years God has dealt with me about forgiveness and I have apologized, but the fact is, not much in the natural has changed. We barely nod in each other’s direction, and have only had one or two occasions to speak in all that time. This makes me sad. (I have purposed in my heart to always be honest here and that means that it may not always be pretty. This is just part of my story, and told from my point of view. I would never say this is all of the history.)

So why share something so personal with you? Why drag our family laundry out? I write this to show you that hurt and offence can lead to things that can change the course of not only your life, but others as well. Since this, I have barely talked to my brothers, it damaged my relationship with my sister, and I have a nephew I have never met. My kids miss out on a life full of cousins and grandparents and all that entails.

Bruises, iniquities, the old wounds that we almost forget about until someone knocks into them, are the hardest to get over. They are the ones we hold onto and caress like a little child. The ones we bring out at holidays and birthdays and special occasions to nurse until no one around can ignore the pain they cause. When we do this we pay more attention to the bruise than to the Healer. I am guilty of that.

God has dealt with me about forgiveness before, but like the children of Israel I guess I am going around that mountain again. Matthew 18:22-35 is clear. When we do not forgive we get handed over to the torturer.  That is what poking at those bruises is: torture!

When we forgive, we allow ourselves to be the ones that heal. God is able to deal with a contrite heart, and when we ask him to wash our hearts in His laundry, who cares what we air in public? That whole healed heart instead of a broken tortured one is a testimony for all to see that God’s love is a transforming love, an overcoming love.

Because God is a loving God, and His love transforms us to be more like Him, walking in forgiveness becomes easier. Recognizing immediately that we need to forgive and letting go of offense is something that we work out like our faith. The more we do it, the bigger those spiritual muscles get, and the easier the heavy lifting, like forgiveness, gets.

When we forgive and let go of offense, those bruised places begin to heal, and we become a less “prickly” person. Admit it, when you have a hurt, like rejection, you become easily offended when you feel rejection again. Whether the rejection was real or perceived, offence has come. You have a choice now: Nurse the hurt like a newborn so it can grow, or cut it out like the cancer it is and be free. Give no foothold to the devil.  

Without forgiveness our faith is stunted. It cannot grow and be effective. So how do we do this?

Well, let me show you what I have learned and what I must keep before me at all times so that I can actively walk in a lifestyle of forgiveness. We have to continually choose.

First, decide that you are going to walk in forgiveness, don’t wait until you feel like it. Before that is likely to happen, you will have more wrinkles than an elephant. Jesus gave us an example in the Lord’s Prayer, “forgive us our sins as we forgive others”. If we got the importance of forgiveness we would live radically different lives. It is after all the crux of the gospel. We were the ones who offended God, and He found a way to forgive us.

Proverbs 19:9 says he who covers and forgives an offence seeks love. Proverbs 19:11 says a sensible person restrains his anger and overlooks offence.

Next rely on God. It takes His Spirit to dwell in us, giving us peace and comfort when we feel attacked and hurt to walk in love and forgiveness. These are fruits of the spirit: love, joy, peace, longsuffering, kindness, goodness, faithfulness. I am a big believer in God putting things in order. First comes His love, then the joy of our salvation, then peace that passes understanding, then long-suffering (active dedication to the things of God) then kindness to those who don’t deserve it, lavishing goodness on them and being faithful to God by ministering to them.  

Finally, pray for them that use you and mistreat you. Bless them and do not curse them. If you can’t say anything nice then at least SHUT UP! Recently, within the last three years, I was hurt at a church by some very big things. I was intent on staying until I got over the offence, and it took a year. I am so glad I did. First and foremost because I can still point people to that church if they are looking for a home church, and second, because I in no way want to diminish what God is doing there because I was a whiner.

I may not agree with everything someone does, but I will not focus on their faults: that is God territory, not Dayna territory. So when I pray for them instead of talk badly about them, and I actively bless them with my words, it allows God to work on my behalf with them.

Do not fall into the trap of becoming bitter. When you feel like “it is not fair if” then you walk a very dangerous line. God is the judge of fair; all we are supposed to do is obey. He is the details guy. When we look at our life, it is like we look at a photograph, only seeing what is in the frame. God sees what is all around the frame, the hidden things, the things just out of sight, and around the corner. That is why He says Trust in Him and not in our own understanding. Forgiveness is for you, let God deal with "them".

Be blessed and be a blessing and remember forgive is a verb! 

Getting Rid of the Suds

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I Have a Secret

Okay, I am getting kind of personal in here today, but being transparent is important in the body of Christ. I have been secretly struggling (not really sharing with anyone in my life) for about a week with worry over this one upcoming “event” in my family’s lives and today is the day. This thing involves a child and there is a special kind of concern we, as parents, have that can so easily turn into worry and worry can turn into anxiety. 

I have had to repent and ask God to forgive me for this worry and anxiety and I have really sought Him through this. (Hopefully, once all is said and done, I can share more details with you my friends, but since it involves my child, I will wait until it is more complete to report more) Needless to say this scripture has been on my mind today. 

Philippians 4:6-7 (MSG)

“Don't fret or worry. Instead of worrying, pray. Let petitions and praises shape your worries into prayers, letting God know your concerns. Before you know it, a sense of God's wholeness, everything coming together for good, will come and settle you down. It's wonderful what happens when Christ displaces worry at the center of your life.”

Now this is not a ‘don’t worry ‘bout a thing’ like Bob Marley says not to worry (or at least I think it was Marley) or even a ‘don’t worry, be happy’ kind of thing circa 1988, thanks Bobby McFerrin, that song is permanently etched in my brain forever! But it is a do not worry- instead pray thing. 

Let’s break this down bit by bit and digest the Word a little together, shall we? 

What is Worry? 

Worry is defined as ‘disturbing oneself with troubling thoughts’ or ‘to torment with cares and anxiety’. Well looks like I need to re-read my own blog, huh? We have talked about casting down thoughts, and that plays a massive roll in overcoming anxiety and worry. (For more on casting down thoughts click here) But I want to concentrate on a few things, line upon line to build up not just your faith, but my own as well. 

When we worry something, (a verb with an object for all you word geeks out there) we agitate it, we stir it up. Think of a washing machine. When the clothes are agitated in the wash the water gets sudsy. Agitate it too much and you have a real Lucille Ball-esque moment happening with suds everywhere! Not a fun experience and a mess to clean up! 

Now when we pray, we take a break from the agitation and allow our minds to calm down. (We allow the suds to dissipate) When we pray we seek God, and He says when we call on Him, he answers! God is faithful. When He says something He will do it. He is not a man so He cannot lie! 

Now we need a good rinse to make things right and get rid of all the suds, right? Well, when we pray God’s peace will wash over us, sealing that assurance that all things work together for the good for them that LOVE Him and are called according to His purpose. 

Overflowing With Jesus, Not Worry

Now one more thing: can we look at the last line of our text? “It's wonderful what happens when Christ displaces worry at the center of your life.” I remember displacement thanks to my eighth grade science teacher, Mr. Koelemay. When a glass of water is half full and you add stones one by one the water becomes displaced, rising bit by bit to eventually run out of the glass if you add enough stones. So following that scientific principle, if we add enough Jesus to our lives the worry and anxiety will be forced bit by bit to run out of our lives. No wonder scripture says my cup overflows! 

What is at the center of your life? Be honest. Do you worry about how the bills will get paid? Do you worry that something will happen to your kids? Do you worry about the price of oil, or who will be the next president? I mean do you worry so much that your focus is on the small stuff and not on God? 

Pray. Let Jesus fill you with peace and let that other junk, that worry and anxiety, run out. Share your concerns with God, because he cares for you! Do not worry about a thing, pray and it will be all right and you will be happy! Huh- go figure, now I have those songs in my head again. 

Join the Conversation

How do you battle worry? 

Be blessed and be a blessing and remember that pray is a verb!

Joy Comes in the Morning- Living Through the Pain of Circumstances.

In my worship time I was listening (and singing loudly) “Yes Lord” with Israel and New Breed and Israel said something on the recording that rang in me like a bell: it rang so strongly that it prompted me to open the word and to begin to study it out. 

He said “Joy comes in the morning. That is not necessarily ‘morning’ with an a.m. beside it: that is morning- as in when you WAKE UP!”

As one of my friends is fond of saying: “Recognize!”

God wants to do something in our lives. As Matthew 9: 28-30 shows it must be “according to our faith”. Psalms 30:5 says "For his anger endures but a moment; in his favor is life: weeping may endure for a night, but joy cometh in the morning." 

You Are Thinking "You have no idea what is going on with me!"

So things are hard sometimes, maybe even ridiculously hard, but we can have JOY no matter what. We just have to look at Job to see that this is possible. Job lost his family, all of his kids, and their kids. He lost his livestock, his land, and his health. You know that saying, “at least you have your health”, well; Job could not even say that. His circumstances were so bad, his wife and friends had a running commentary on how he should handle his problems, what he should do to “fix” things, and through it all, Job trusted in God, and never denied God’s power to save him and keep him no matter what! (Have you been through a really hard spot and had all your friends have “advise” for you? Be careful. Our counselor is Jesus. We should always seek Him first.)

Let’s look closer at Job 22:25-30 (The Message)

21-25 "Give in to God, come to terms with him and everything will turn out just fine. Let him tell you what to do; take his words to heart. Come back to God Almighty and he'll rebuild your life. Clean house of everything evil. Relax your grip on your money and abandon your gold-plated luxury. God Almighty will be your treasure, more wealth than you can imagine. 
26-30 “You'll take delight in God, the Mighty One, and look to him joyfully, boldly. You'll pray to him and he'll listen; he'll help you do what you've promised. You'll decide what you want and it will happen; your life will be bathed in light. To those who feel low you'll say, 'Chin up! Be brave!' and God will save them. Yes, even the guilty will escape, escape through God's grace in your life."

Several other scriptures run through my mind at this point. “All things work together for good for those that love God and are called according to His purpose”. God’s grace is sufficient”. “Whom the Son set free is free indeed!” These are so important, because they establish the veracity of God’s word as it applies to our circumstances. When I looked at Job in the King James and took a close look at what was being said in the actual meanings of the words in Job 22: 25-30 I discovered some things I want to share with you. I believe these things are what we must do in order to have Joy, no matter what our circumstances are.

What is in a word? 

First, “Acquaint” (Strong’s 05532) means to be of use, service, profit, benefit, to be used, to know intimately. We should come to terms with who God is, and what He wants us to do in service to Him. When we become intimate with God, hearing His voice in our life is a regular occurrence. So even in the dark, when we cannot see the direction to go, we can follow God’s voice as He sings over us.

Secondly, we need to “Receive” (Strong’s 03947). This means to take, lay ahold of, seize, acquire, get, and choose. We need to take what He says to heart. Choose to believe Him over our circumstances. To acquire His promises, and to lay a hold of HIS TRUTH! Circumstances lie. Circumstances change. God is not a man, that HE can lie; and He cannot change!

This is why we should “lay-up” and score really big with God. “Lay up” (Strong’s 07760) means make, ordain, fix in place, establish, and DETERMINE! 

We should determine that no matter what is going on God is the ultimate authority on what is going on in our lives and on what we should do about it. 

We should “clean house” and not put anything ahead of God in our lives. He is our first love. He is our Father, our Savior, and our Lord. Nothing is higher, and nothing should be exalted above Him.

His “words” (Strong’s 0561) are our promises and His vow to us. It comes from the Hebrew word ‘rmh’ and it means to say in one’s heart. Say in our heart that HE is God. He is our comfort, our shield, our buckler, our strength, our hope. He raises a hedge of protection around us; He raises a standard against the flood and the fire. He forgives us, accepts us, loves us, and wants us. He has established us as the head and not the tail.

If we have waivered, and we have put idols in His place, tear them down and return to Him. Then He will be our “defense”: (Strong’s 01220 from 01219) a fence, an inaccessible fortification. Then we can “delight” (Strong’s 06026) in the Lord. We can be pampered by His love and favor, and take extreme exquisite pleasure in God. Then we can pray in the darkness and He will hear us. Then we can decree with authority what God says about our circumstances and IT SHALL BE ESTABLISHED! (Strong’s 06965) Established means to be confirmed, to build, to raise. Establish means to fix in the natural what you have determined in your heart and spoken with your mouth to be. AND THEN the “light shall shine upon your way”. (Strong’s 0216) The light of day – MORNING- the light of instruction, the light of life, the light of prosperity, the light of God’s face shall shine on your “Ways”: (Strong’s 01870) your road, journey, path, direction. 

Stay with me! 

Now, I know this is long, but bear with me because the best is yet to come. Out of all of this, we grow and from that growth we develop the desire to point others to salvation. The word “save” (Strong’s 03467) is Yasha’ in Hebrew. (Sounds almost like Yeshewa [Jesus] doesn’t it) It means to be saved, to be delivered out of darkness into day, to be victorious!

So joy really does come in the morning. Jesus is our bright and morning star! So arise and shine, for the glory of the Lord is around about you. Rise and shake off your mourning, for MORNING is COME! Yes Lord, and again I say YES!

Be blessed and be a blessing and remember that JOY is a noun.

What is your favorite Scripture verse right now? 

Stay on Target

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When the Walls Are Crumbling 

Nehemiah 8:10b (NLT) “Don’t be dejected and sad, for the joy of the LORD is your strength!”

When our walls are torn down around us, like Nehemiah describes, and our enemies seem to press in on us, it is easy to give way to dejection and sadness. 

We have this problem you see: we believe in the illusion of control, mainly that we have some.

We don’t. 

Not over circumstances, not over other people’s opinions, not over our kids, not over our spouses. 

Stay on Target! Stay on Target!

I picture my life as an old-fashioned target. I am the middle, my immediate family is one ring out, then the next ring is work/church friends, the next ring acquaintances and local community and the outer ring, the world at large. 

Can I control what happens on the first ring or the second? NO! I can only influence. The only thing I can control is in that center space; the bull’s-eye: aka ME. 

So when things are not going the way we think they should, the way we planned them to be, feelings like dejection, sadness, despair, loneliness, fear, and anguish are common. 

These emotions are a part of living in a broken world. But releasing these to God is what allows us to become free. Jesus said in Matthew 16:24 we must deny ourselves. In this society that seems like a tall order, but therein lies real freedom and joy. 

Preaching to myself...

I am in no way saying I have this down…no way. I am speaking to myself here as well. Emotions are heady things, but they are not what should control us. But emotions are a soul issue that needs to be conquered. 

We are not supposed to be quick to anger. (Proverbs 15:18) I am guilty of that one. 

We are supposed to use soft words to turn other’s wrath away, ummm, haven’t perfected that yet. (Proverbs 15:1) 

We are supposed to never go to bed angry, failed at that one a time or two in nearly 18 years of marriage. (Ephesians 4:26) 

We are not supposed to be tossed by every wave, (Matthew 14:24) yet many of us, and I include myself; have ridden the emotional roller coasters that frankly leave us with emotional whiplash. 

Think about it! 

What we DO have control over is our thoughts. We have to make a   conscious effort to turn our thoughts away from the tumultuous emotions, and remember what God says.

Philippians 4:8 says “Finally, brethren, whatsoever things are true, whatsoever things are honest, whatsoever things are just, whatsoever things are pure, whatsoever things are lovely, whatsoever things are of good report; if there be any virtue, and if there be any praise, think on these things.” 

Some emotions if allowed to fester bring on conditions that can have effects on our health and relationships. Depression is something I know about. Both my husband and I have battled it. This is no easy thing. 

It is not just you! 

The psalmist David knew what this was too: first, seeing King Saul go through depression, and then his battle with it later in life.

Depression is living in that head space that allows unchecked thoughts and emotions to grow into a debilitating condition, that if not stopped can rob you of more than your joy, it can rob you of your life. Psalms 94:19 says “In the multitude of my thoughts within me thy comforts delight my soul.” 

We are a spirit, we live in a body, and we have a soul. God is concerned foremost with the spirit, but He comforts our soul. (Our mind, our will and our EMOTIONS) 

Hebrews 4:12 says “For the word of God is quick, and powerful, and sharper than any two-edged sword, piercing even to the dividing asunder of soul and spirit, and of the joints and marrow, and is a discerner of the thoughts and intents of the heart."

A Child of the King

Reigning in emotions is a battle I believe that every human, while on this earth, has an issue with, no matter who they are. However, if you know WHOSE you are you can learn to rely less on them and more on the Father and His word. John 15:11 “These things have I spoken unto you, that my joy might remain in you, and that your joy might be full.” 

I know it has been said many times, many different ways, but LET GO AND LET GOD! Let God free you of every hindrance in your life, every fetter that holds you down, and let the chains of emotional baggage fall away as you (and I) turn our eyes toward Him. 

So Stay on target and remember that aim is a verb. 

Question: 

Do you have a hard time taming your emotions? Leave a comment below. 

IF anyone you know is battling depression, please seek the advice of a medical professional. If someone you know is suicidal, call or go online to the National Suicide Hotline at http://suicidehotlines.com/national.html 1-800-273-TALK (8255).