Q & A Conclusion of the Prioritize Your Life Series

Today we wrap up the Prioritize Your Life series with a Question and Answer session. If you asked a question last week, you may find it here. If you didn't you may find one here that you identify with because I picked the most universal ones I could to answer. These questions are by some people I really admire as well. Check out their links and find out what they are all about! 

I hope you have enjoyed this series. If you have found something you do not agree with, or feel like I missed something important, then please join the conversation by leaving a comment below! I want to hear from you! 

Enjoy the Q & A below:

Tor Constantino Asked:

Dayna, I think one of the challenges with priorities is ranking them. If everything's a priority, then nothing really is. What recommendation do you have for those who have trouble separating true priorities from the pack?

(Tor Blogs at http://www.thedailyretort.com)

Ranking is a challenge. If we look at priorities as a standard (read banner) over an area of our lives to which we always strive to move toward in our lives it will help us become less bogged down by the priority itself. Remember that Jesus said “…Take no thought for your life, what ye shall eat, or what ye shall drink; nor yet for your body, what ye shall put on. Is not the life more than meat, and the body than raiment?” These are details. Later in the same chapter at the end of the discussion Jesus was having he said this: “But seek ye first the kingdom of God, (A Standard) and his righteousness; and all these things shall be added unto you.”

Remember that in life we cannot have nor do it all. Some things have to be less important than others. By definition a priority is more important because it is “given special attention”. Ultimately how many priorities you have is up to you. However, of you stop looking at priorities as a list of “to do’s” and more of a standard of living then it may take some of the pressure off.

I hope this helps.



Bobbie Cole Asked:

I like it that, in his Life Plan Book, Michael Hyatt puts himself second to God on his list of priorities. His rationale is that, if he doesn't look after himself, he cannot do any of the things that follow on his list of priorities, such as being there for his wife, bringing up his children and helping colleagues. Do you agree?

Bobbie, this is a great question! I have to start off by saying this: priorities are highly personal, and while some priorities (God, family, career, and ministry) might be the same, for many some priorities will not translate well.

I read Michael’s book and loved it. When I was trying to do all the exercises and list out my priorities exactly like he did do you know what happened? I kept forgetting the “myself” one. For me, it did not fit. I love the idea. After all, even God calls us vessels to be filled and to pour out, right?

I think the thing we have to do after we create our “list” of priorities is to live with them for a while and make adjustments as needed. I probably do need to make myself more of a priority more… I could use the exercise at least…lol. Recently, Luther Davis, who died just before his 90th birthday told someone “If I knew I was going to live this long, I would have taken better care of my body.”

Even such a great man, who I admired greatly had trouble with the “myself” part of his life.

Priorities are personal and the only person who will be able to set them and live by them is you.

Thanks for this question!

Rebecca Livermore Asked:

(Rebecca is genius in all things design. Check her out at http://www.professionalcontentcreation.com/ )

How do you deal with the priorities that other people have for you? For example, spouses, children, employers, clients, friends -- all of them may have things they want you to do and feel you are letting them down if you don't live up to their priorities for you. Of course, I'm only talking about those who are key people in your life, not just random people. :)

This is a great question Rebecca! I have to say that outside pressures to be and do certain things are stressors that many of us have. Sometimes these stressors can be presented as priorities when really they are diversions. They divert our energy, our focus; even our hearts can be diverted.

This is one reason God says “guard your heart”.

I want to encourage you and anyone who identifies with this question to live in a place of peace. We will be buffeted by people, by storms, by critics, by family, and by strangers. This is life. But if we live with a standard (priority/banner) over an area of our life, it will block some of the attack (like a personal umbrella) and in times where we stray too far away from that standard (because we were diverted) then that standard (priority/banner) can act like a beacon to lead us back where we want to be.

I want you to stop for a second and think of your life as a dart board. You are the bull’s-eye. Immediately around you (the next circle) is your husband, then the next circle is your kids, then extended family, then work etc…

Now, do you have that image in your mind? Good, now answer this: What can you really control in the dart board? What do you really have the responsibility for and over?

The answer is YOU!

You can influence the other circles, but you are the only thing you really have control over. Set your standards (priorities) and share those with the people you care about. Let them know where you are in your heart and mind and do not waiver. They will respect you more l for taking a stand than for caving into their demands.

Heidi Kreider Asked:

(Heidi is a published author and blogs at http://heidikreider.com/)

What do you do when you feel as if God is changing your priorities and your direction but not everyone agrees?

Heidi, first I would say Trust and Obey! Trust that if God is changing things for you, He will let your spouse know. He will bring your kids around. Yet ultimately (see dart board analogy above) you have to be the one who obeys.

Here is something that comes to mind about obedience. If you had two children and one of them never did his chore, but instead talked his sister into doing it every time, is your son really obeying? The chore got done, but did he truly obey you?

What if he told you that it was not a priority for him to take out the trash every night, it was more your deal than his? Would that fly?

What if he constantly told you “I’ll take out the trash when… (fill in the blank)”

God is a Father. We are his kids. Are you going to obey, or wait because you don’t think things are quite perfect yet?

Obedience is better. Trust is better. God sees more than you do. This is why Jesus asks us to die to ourselves. When we lay down “our” concerns, God takes them up.

Jesus is your advocate, so let the detractors complain. The one we need to please is God: no one else.


Dana Pittman Asked:

(Dana blogs at danapittman.com)

My priority questions come from transitioning from where I am to where God is calling me. Where I am pays the bills? :) Where I am going is going to take a lot of time and effort. I'm sure some finances will come but for now they are nonexistent.

I want to direct you to Heidi’s question and answer and just add this: Step out in FAITH! If God is telling you to GO GO GO then what are you doing stuck at the starting line? Run your race girl. God gave it to you to RUN!

“If any of you is deficient in wisdom, let him ask of [a]the giving God [Who gives] to everyone liberally and ungrudgingly, without reproaching or faultfinding, and it will be given him” James 1:5



Pilar Arsenec Asked:

(Pilar blogs at http://www.ordinaryservant.com/)

I just find myself just scrambling to just get things done. My priorities become the demands of my job and my family. I have to be honest and say that I squeeze everything else in which includes time alone with God.

Pilar, we have to live with intention. Otherwise we react to life rather than move through life toward goals.

First I want to tell you I understand what you mean. There are days I just feel bombarded by everyone else and feel like there is nothing I can do to change it. But there is! Change comes first from within. Determine in yourself that you will live life with intention. Write down those priorities and goals. If you still feel like they are unobtainable then do what Michael Hyatt suggests in his book “Life Plan” and work backwards.

If you have a priority and it feels like there is no way for you to live up to it, and then ask yourself this question: What would have to be true to make this reality?

The answer to that question is will help you focus more, and trim some of the "fat" from your life that is diverting your attention from the things that matter.

No matter where you are right now though, you cannot live in condemnation! Stop beating yourself up for not being perfect. No one is except Jesus. We strive to be more like Him. Sometimes we fall short. That is what grace is for. Pick yourself up, dust yourself off, and start again.

One of my favorite things to say is “God’s got this!” and whatever your “this” is, I promise, He has it!

                                                ______________________________________________________

I hope you have liked this series and found value in it. Please, leave you questions and comments below to join the discussion! 

How to Have Peace in Our Lives

The world doesn't stop. Round and round it goes and we can get caught up in the never-ending cycle of wake, work, eat, sleep, repeat. 

We can look like ants, in a line, following blindly because we think this is what we are meant to do. Think I am wrong? Watch what traffic looks like at rush hour. 

I want us to take a moment and be still. God is in the quiet. 

When we take the time to turn off all the noise of the world something amazing happens. We can get in the presence of God and be renewed. We can be made stronger, more resilient, firmer in our faith and more focused for the tasks we have to do. 

This quiet time can be found by shutting off the TV, walking away from the computer, getting in a room alone, and worshiping. 

Psalms 100:4 says this: 

Enter into his gates with thanksgiving, and into his courts with praise: be thankful unto him, and bless his name. 

In God’s presence there is peace and fullness of joy. 

Take your cares to Him. Bring your prayers, your pain, your hopes, your dreams. He wants it all. He wants your whole heart and your whole life, because He wants to make your life whole. 

Psalms 119:73-80 (MESSAGE) 

With your very own hands you formed me; now breathe your wisdom over me so I can understand you. When they see me waiting, expecting your Word, those who fear you will take heart and be glad. I can see now, God, that your decisions are right; your testing has taught me what's true and right. Oh, love me—and right now!—hold me tight! just the way you promised. Now comfort me so I can live, really live; your revelation is the tune I dance to. Let the fast-talking tricksters be exposed as frauds; they tried to sell me a bill of goods, but I kept my mind fixed on your counsel. Let those who fear you turn to me for evidence of your wise guidance. And let me live whole and holy, soul and body, so I can always walk with my head held high. 

Watch this video, listen to the words of the song. Ask God to breathe His peace onto you. Your world may continue to spin chaotic and you may feel stuck in a never-ending cycle, but God is with you. Do not be overwhelmed by the world, but let God’s peace overwhelm you and you can face anything. 

If God is for us, who can be against us?

Forgiveness- The Hardest Lesson I Have Ever Had to Learn

I saw a church sign that made me laugh, it said “Don’t give up! Moses was once a basket case!”

I needed that giggle. There are moments when I feel like I have taken the short bus, missed the boat, and in general missed the mark. In those times, I have to stop and evaluate what it is I am hearing in my mind. I have to decide if I am hearing the prompting of the Spirit, myself, or the voice of an enemy that seeks to steal (my joy) kill (my dreams) and destroy (me). So let me share with you my struggles and triumphs today.

Around eight years ago, my parents and I had a falling out. It was years in the making, like a good (or bad) fruit cake it had many ingredients and layers of flavor. My father and I said things that were ugly: some true and some untrue and all of it was wrapped around my offences and sense of rejection.

In the last eight years God has dealt with me about forgiveness and I have apologized, but the fact is, not much in the natural has changed. We barely nod in each other’s direction, and have only had one or two occasions to speak in all that time. This makes me sad. (I have purposed in my heart to always be honest here and that means that it may not always be pretty. This is just part of my story, and told from my point of view. I would never say this is all of the history.)

So why share something so personal with you? Why drag our family laundry out? I write this to show you that hurt and offence can lead to things that can change the course of not only your life, but others as well. Since this, I have barely talked to my brothers, it damaged my relationship with my sister, and I have a nephew I have never met. My kids miss out on a life full of cousins and grandparents and all that entails.

Bruises, iniquities, the old wounds that we almost forget about until someone knocks into them, are the hardest to get over. They are the ones we hold onto and caress like a little child. The ones we bring out at holidays and birthdays and special occasions to nurse until no one around can ignore the pain they cause. When we do this we pay more attention to the bruise than to the Healer. I am guilty of that.

God has dealt with me about forgiveness before, but like the children of Israel I guess I am going around that mountain again. Matthew 18:22-35 is clear. When we do not forgive we get handed over to the torturer.  That is what poking at those bruises is: torture!

When we forgive, we allow ourselves to be the ones that heal. God is able to deal with a contrite heart, and when we ask him to wash our hearts in His laundry, who cares what we air in public? That whole healed heart instead of a broken tortured one is a testimony for all to see that God’s love is a transforming love, an overcoming love.

Because God is a loving God, and His love transforms us to be more like Him, walking in forgiveness becomes easier. Recognizing immediately that we need to forgive and letting go of offense is something that we work out like our faith. The more we do it, the bigger those spiritual muscles get, and the easier the heavy lifting, like forgiveness, gets.

When we forgive and let go of offense, those bruised places begin to heal, and we become a less “prickly” person. Admit it, when you have a hurt, like rejection, you become easily offended when you feel rejection again. Whether the rejection was real or perceived, offence has come. You have a choice now: Nurse the hurt like a newborn so it can grow, or cut it out like the cancer it is and be free. Give no foothold to the devil.  

Without forgiveness our faith is stunted. It cannot grow and be effective. So how do we do this?

Well, let me show you what I have learned and what I must keep before me at all times so that I can actively walk in a lifestyle of forgiveness. We have to continually choose.

First, decide that you are going to walk in forgiveness, don’t wait until you feel like it. Before that is likely to happen, you will have more wrinkles than an elephant. Jesus gave us an example in the Lord’s Prayer, “forgive us our sins as we forgive others”. If we got the importance of forgiveness we would live radically different lives. It is after all the crux of the gospel. We were the ones who offended God, and He found a way to forgive us.

Proverbs 19:9 says he who covers and forgives an offence seeks love. Proverbs 19:11 says a sensible person restrains his anger and overlooks offence.

Next rely on God. It takes His Spirit to dwell in us, giving us peace and comfort when we feel attacked and hurt to walk in love and forgiveness. These are fruits of the spirit: love, joy, peace, longsuffering, kindness, goodness, faithfulness. I am a big believer in God putting things in order. First comes His love, then the joy of our salvation, then peace that passes understanding, then long-suffering (active dedication to the things of God) then kindness to those who don’t deserve it, lavishing goodness on them and being faithful to God by ministering to them.  

Finally, pray for them that use you and mistreat you. Bless them and do not curse them. If you can’t say anything nice then at least SHUT UP! Recently, within the last three years, I was hurt at a church by some very big things. I was intent on staying until I got over the offence, and it took a year. I am so glad I did. First and foremost because I can still point people to that church if they are looking for a home church, and second, because I in no way want to diminish what God is doing there because I was a whiner.

I may not agree with everything someone does, but I will not focus on their faults: that is God territory, not Dayna territory. So when I pray for them instead of talk badly about them, and I actively bless them with my words, it allows God to work on my behalf with them.

Do not fall into the trap of becoming bitter. When you feel like “it is not fair if” then you walk a very dangerous line. God is the judge of fair; all we are supposed to do is obey. He is the details guy. When we look at our life, it is like we look at a photograph, only seeing what is in the frame. God sees what is all around the frame, the hidden things, the things just out of sight, and around the corner. That is why He says Trust in Him and not in our own understanding. Forgiveness is for you, let God deal with "them".

Be blessed and be a blessing and remember forgive is a verb!