CAUGHT IN THE MIDDLE

Photo Credit: Creative Commons 

I walk a fine line. 

I am caught between the world and my home. 

I long for moments with my Father: moments when His grace and love are so real that my heart breaks and my knees weaken and my voice cries out. These are the moments I live for. Intimate moments. Moments when I not only tell my Father that I love Him, but I hear Him whisper back to me. 

I hear His song...  of love, of grace, and of change. 

Then there are the times when I am bogged down by this world. Bills, and kids, and salesmen knocking on the door all distract me from what my heart longs to do. 

Now I know why Paul remained single. 

Not that I would give up my husband or my children. I love them and I know they are gifts from my Father. I am grateful for these things. 

I am also human. I am selfish. I want... more. 

More of God in my life. More people hearing about Jesus, More love, more power, more of God in me. I am selfish. 

My heart cries out. My heart yearns to see peoples lives turned around! I want my children to burn with passion for Jesus. I long for my husband to live in the freedom God has designed just for him. 

Opening my heart up, and giving God more of me than I ever have before, I surrender it all. 

My pain. Here it is... 

My joy, belongs to Him. 

My hope, wrapped up in His hands. 

My future, my calling, my life.... all His. 

I surrender. Everything! 

I do not know what will happen. I only know what I want to happen. It won't always go the way I plan. I will face disappointment and heartache. I will have trials, hardships, and difficulties. The difference is now, I am not alone. 

Romans 8:28 says "And we know that all things work together for good to them that love God, to them who are the called according to his purpose."

God has a purpose. Nothing that happens in my life can derail that purpose as long as I am surrendered to Him. As long as I seek Him first, all that I need will be added. I will not want. I will find rest. My joy will remain, and even more, it will be full. 

I am amazed. 

I stand in awe of God's goodness and His faithfulness. 

I hope you know this same awe. I hope that you know what surrender is like. Like floating on your back in a  cool pool while the sun warms your face... 

Here is a song that I hope ministers to you.