No More Lies: Part 3 "Bad Parent!"

Graphic: Dayna Bickham/Creative Commons License 

"If my kids have problems, I am a bad parent!" 

This lie is one of the most hideous we face as people, because if Satan can destroy our family unity he can win our kids.

I have struggled with this lie since I popped out the first child. Every ear infection I worried that someone would catch on to what a bad parent I was and take my kid.

When Sarah had a seizure in my arms I was bombarded with feelings of guilt. "If you were a better mom you would have seen the signs sooner" and "this is your genetics and there is nothing you can do about it" were just a few of the horrible thoughts that I battled.

Now, my kids are healthy (no more seizures thank you Jesus!) but the issues they have are more difficult to handle.

When my kids were little I did not live for Jesus. I was out in the world living a life the way I wanted to: my life was full of poor choices and bad attitudes. Though I had grown up in church, they have not, because I was too busy thinking life was all about me (another lie) they missed out on the type of parenting they deserved.

Now when I see the fruit of those early years my heart breaks.

The lies begin again. 

So I stop and remember they do not belong to me. To believe they are MY kids is a lie. They belong to God.

They are on loan to me for a season. Where I fall short, God has grace. One of the hardest things for me to do is lay my kids on the alter and then walk away.

I do not know how Abraham did it. No wonder his obedience was counted as such great faith.

When they mess up, and they do, and they will, I have to trust that God can still reach them: His arms are not too short. God can still sustain them, His grace is still sufficient.

I have to seek God, ask for wisdom and trust that even if my kids run from God, He will chase them until He finds them. 

I have to remind myself that God has a plan and a purpose for them and that what Satan has stole God can and will redeem. I have to be like Abraham. I have to trust.

My Prayer

Father, forgive me for not always doing my best. I have fallen short when it comes to raising, loving, training and teaching my kids about you. I know You are faithful. I know you can redeem the time, you can call all men's (girls') hearts to you and I ask Lord that you reach out and touch my kids' hearts now. Father help me to trust. Help me to believe you rather than a lie. Help me to remember that You are in control!
Father I ask that you minister to the ones who read this. The ones who have their own struggles with parenting and who are battling lies right now. Give them strength and wisdom. Father teach me to discern what is best for my kids. Show me how to love like you do. I thank you and bless your Holy name. Amen.

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What kinds of struggles do you have as a parent?



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No More Lies: Part One "Control Freak"

Graphic by Dayna Bickham: Creative Commons

Lie Number One

I have left this lie alone too long. It's sat there, alone and unattended. It has become absorbed into my psyche and now I have to get rid of it. 

It's origins are from the garden of Eden itself. The ultimate rebellion against God. 

"I am in control." 

As a kid I bucked my parents. I wrestled away as much control from them as I could. I thought other peoples' fear of me gave me control. All it did was alienate my family from me. 

As an adult I bucked against pastors, bosses, and co-workers. As a wife I  manipulated and threw fits to get my way just to make this lie true. It only caused pain and emotional separation from my husband. 

This is all to serve the lie that I am in control. 

The truth is I was bought with a price. I am no longer my own. I have been created to be used by God, and that takes complete surrender. 

The truth is I am NOT in control. I have surrendered. When my will rises up, I have to repent. This is nothing but pride and pride is sin. 

"Do not love or cherish the world or the things that are in the world. If anyone loves the world, love for the Father is not in him. For all that is in the world—the lust of the flesh [craving for sensual gratification] and the lust of the eyes [greedy longings of the mind] and the pride of life [assurance in one’s own resources or in the stability of earthly things]—these do not come from the Father but are from the world [itself]. And the world passes away and disappears, and with it the forbidden cravings (the passionate desires, the lust) of it; but he who does the will of God and carries out His purposes in his life abides (remains) forever." 1 John 2:15-17 AMP

The world is temporary. The things of this life are fleeting. I have to remember that moment to moment. The lie "I am in control" only causes worry and anxiety when my world is not perfect-- and my world is never perfect. 

I will not live my life rebelling against God anymore. I will submit to His ways, because they are perfect.  

Easier Said than Done

I won't kid myself. This will be harder than it sounds. It all comes down to this: I must decrease, so He can increase. 

I have to kill my flesh. 

"And He said to all, If any person wills to come after Me, let him deny himself [[a]disown himself,[b]forget, lose sight of himself and his own interests,[c]refuse and give up himself] and take up his cross daily and follow Me [[d]cleave steadfastly to Me, conform wholly to My example in living and, if need be, in dying also]." Luke 9:23 AMP

There are three things I can do to remove the lie "I am in control" from my life. 

1. I can surrender. - I do not see the big picture, but God does. I have limited vision, He has a vision for me. 
2. I can bend.- As a sculptor I know what unyielding clay feels like. It is hard and cold. I will put myself in the hands of the Master Potter and let His love warm me and make me soft. I will let His grace and mercy shape me. 
3. I can trust.- This life is all about faith. I will trust and have faith that the One who made me, Called me and Saved me, has a way for me. I will lean on Him even when I do not understand, and I remember that my finite way of looking at the world is never going to be enough. 

Join the Conversation:

What about you? Do you struggle with this lie? Are you like me: a control freak? Share your comments and thoughts below. 

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