The Value of an Apology

"Humility" by Will Felix 

I Hate Apologizing 

Even when I know I was wrong, and an apology should be offered, my body has a visceral reaction to the act of  saying "I'm sorry, please forgive me".

My pulse quickens. My face flushes. My palms sweat. My stomach ties up in knots.

It is not a pretty sight.

Recently I said something in jest.

It was not an offensive thing, and it was not a harsh thing. Most days, I would laugh at my wit and move on. Yet, this time I couldn't. This time my Dad was telling me to apologize.

You see, words have power. They hang in the air and in people's minds when they think of you. I have a tendency to think I am funny. God was reminding me that sometimes (most times) my thinkin' is stinkin'!

So I had to write an apology email. One to my pastor and one to my mentor, both of whom were present when I made my little quip. It does not matter if I get a response. It does not matter if they forgive me. What does matter is I obeyed my Father, and secondly, I learned a small bit of humility.

Why We Hate to Say "I'm Sorry" 

The short answer is pride. 

Who really wants to be told they are wrong, much less admit it voluntarily? Not anyone I have ever met. 

We will miss the mark, make a mistake or just be plain wrong sometimes: this is part of what it means to be human. So, humility brings our pride down a  notch and lets us be vulnerable in the moment. It may not feel good, but there are benefits. 

We Get it Wrong - Again 

We confuse humility with humiliation. One is a good and Godly quality to have, and one is embarrassing and shameful. If we humble ourselves then humiliation never comes. It is only when we are continuously prideful that humiliation comes. 

God's word says "Pride ends in humiliation, while humility brings honor." Proverbs 29:23 

I do not know about you, but I think a heartfelt and quick apology (as much as I hate to do so) is better than being called to the carpet later about the same thing you could have apologized for in the first place.

Better to be humble now than humiliated later. TWEET THAT

The Benefits of Getting it Right

There are three key benefits to humility (or meekness). People who are humble: 

• live happier lives. (Psalms 22:26, Read about it in TIME Magazine Online) 
• are honored. (Luke 14:11) 
• live longer lives. (Proverbs 22:4) 

People who are humble make better bosses and employees. People who are humble divorce less, and live longer. People who are humble are kinder than other people and give more selflessly. 

These are all amazing things to have in life. But if we seek humility for the things humility can get us later, we are missing the point. Living as a more humble person allows us to be pliable before God. 

God longs to mold us into His image. 

Humility puts us in the position we need to be, bowed before our Father, as He chisels out the rough places and sculpts us into the work of art He designed us to be from the very beginning. 

Join the Conversation

Do you find it easy or difficult to apologize? 

Subscribe

If you like what you read here and want to get more great content, then click the "Subscribe to our Newsletter" link below. Fill out that short form and confirm your subscription by checking your email. It is as easy as that! I won't sell your info and I won't spam you. Oh- and I will give you the PDF version of my children's story "The Gardener and the Sapling" for FREE. You can print it up and read it to your little ones, or share it with someone you love. The message in it is timeless!

Subscribe to our newsletter

Confessions of a Crazy Mom!

 Tore up from the floor up! This was the "good" picture. 

The Dog Days of Summer Are Over

Yesterday I was lauding the last day of summer and excited that my youngest was headed back to school.

This morning, as I drove my baby (she is 14) to her first day of high school I bawled like a baby. I do this every year, and I had hoped that this year would be different, but alas, no. 

Water works ensued!

This is not a good look on me. I ugly cry. My face scrunches up, my lips pucker out and my nose turns red. I have no make-up on and other than brushing my teeth and washing my face I basically rolled out of bed this morning. (NOT a good look!) 

Add undone hair and I look like a blubbering drunk realizing she is about to be arrested. 

I have friends that think I am crazy! I probably am. They pump their fists in jubilation as their kiddos step onto the bus and out of their hair until Christmas break. In my head, I think that is how I will feel every time. Then, I don't. I do this. It is not a pretty sight! 

But I do not want to talk about the "look" as much as this: time. 

Time is short. 

They are so young, these kids of ours. We know that soon they will face a world that is not as supportive as Mom and Dad have been. They will face hardships, and heart aches. They will build new friendships and let go of others. They will learn new things and be challenged beyond what we think they should. This is all before 3:30 p.m. every day. 

No matter what age your child is, NOW is the time to parent them. 

I know you are a parent, but parenting is another bag all together. It takes focus and determination and faith and prayer and well, the list could go on and on. 

In the short time between now, and that day when they strike out on their own, love them by leading them. Love them by teaching them. Love them even when they push against you or scream "Leave me alone!" 

This time is like having a garden. In this season we plant, we pluck up weeds, we graft, we prune, we train, and we watch them bloom. The harvest of all you sow into them will come later. 

This makes me think of a show I recently watched on TV about a family of homesteaders in Alaska. There, due to the weather, they have an extremely short growing season. They have to grow what they can when they can. It is the same as parents.  

These last 14 years have flown by for me. If you are a parent I know you get how fast time can move as you watch your child grow. Parent or not, the lesson is this: there is the law of sowing and reaping at work in you right now. There is a short growing season. Choose wisely what you plant and you will reap the benefits in due season! 

I want to pray for you and your kids. 

Father, help us as parents to redeem the time as best we can. Give us wisdom in what to sow into our children. Help us see the overall picture of who you want them to be so we can prune and train them into what you desire. Thank you for trusting us with such a magnificent gift. Lord, bless and keep the hearts and minds of our little ones. Let them always look to and trust in you. In the name of Jesus, Amen. 

Join the conversation: 

Crazy picture aside, (and I am sorry for that by the way!) are you a cryer or a fist pumper when it comes to sending the kiddos off to school every year?