Three Practical Steps to Self-Confidence

We have been talking about confidence and I cannot let the series go by without talking about self-confidence. 

There is room in this life to trust in our own abilities at times. This is what self-confidence is: trusting in our self. 

There is however a caveat: self-confidence should always reflect the Jesus in you. 

Philippians 4:13 I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me. 

1. Remember where your strength lies. 

When we rely on our own ability we sometimes forget to rely on Jesus. This is a dangerous place to be. It puffs us up, we can become proud and God will not allow pride to last long. He longs for a humble and contrite heart. 

God is high and lifted up. He lives forever. His name is holy. He says, “I live in a high and holy place, but I also live with people who are humble and sorry for their sins. I will give new life to those who are humble in spirit. I will give new life to those who are sorry for their sins. Isaiah 57:15

2. Understand God has gifted you with talents and abilities. 

Sometimes, in order to try to be as holy as we can, we throw practicality out the window. This is like throwing the baby out with the bath water: it defeats the purpose. We live in a world where practical and spiritual have to coincide. We must be in this world, not a part of it. 

You have abilities and talents. That may be singing, writing, public speaking, or teaching. It could be crafting, sewing, or cooking. Your talents could be accounting, administrative, or organizational. Whatever your talents, each of us can use those talents and have confidence when we do. 

Why? 

We can have confidence because we know God made us that way. 

And he gave some, apostles; and some, prophets; and some, evangelists; and some, pastors and teachers; for the perfecting of the saints, for the work of the ministry, for the edifying of the body of Christ. Ephesians 4:11-12

We each have something to contribute to the body and to the world. We are fishers of men. Our talents, when used with confidence and guided by the Holy Spirit should act like lures: shiny, impressive, and hunger inducing. 

3. Do everything with excellence. 

Whatever you do, whether in speech or action, do it all in the name of the Lord Jesus and give thanks to God the Father through him. Colossians3:17 

God left nothing undone. He does nothing half-heartedly. For you He sent His only child to die and take on your sins, and the sins of the rest of the world so that we could live. He gave His best. We need to give ours. 

Cain did not give his best, and God was displeased. God was not displeased with grain as an offering, but that Cain did not pick his best grains to offer to God, he brought God the leftovers. 

Do not do the same with your offerings of talent and devotion. Do everything with excellence. Where you lack, God will supply the rest. 

This is where self-confidence and confidence in God meet. This is where God bestows favor. 

Be faithful in the little things (the things you know how to do) and God will give you bigger better things that challenge you and help you grow. 

How did God make you? What is your special talent? 

If you like this post you may also like: Three Things to know About Confidence , Change Your Perspective, Finding Your Voice, Finding Yourself In Christ Confidence is Tricky, Confidence Changes Everything, and Confidence in Transition

Self-Confidence vs. Real Confidence

Photo Credit: Creative Commons

Let’s talk about something that seems to be a real problem for a lot of people: confidence. 

Maybe the reason this is a problem for people is because we have believed a lie: confidence is all about believing in yourself. 

Real Confidence is Not About Us. 

We are broken and flawed creatures who in ourselves have nothing worthy. Every good and perfect gift comes from the Father of light, the Lord who is love. BUT GOD, who is flawless, and in whom is all our strength and hope, in Him we can have confidence. 

The respect and proper reverence of God (the fear of God) builds confidence! When we truly know that God is the author and the finisher of our faith; He holds the pen that writes our story, and when we worship Him in spirit and truth for His faithfulness to us, then we can know without a doubt that He is worthy of our trust in Him. 

Confidence (Noun) is defined as: full trust; belief in the powers, trustworthiness, or reliability of a person or thing or certitude; assurance. 

Confidence is not something that is achieved overnight. 

Arnold in School. Photo credit unknown. 

Think of Arnold Schwarzenegger as a kid. He was skinny. He did not have the muscles that would one day make him famous. He had chicken legs and big ears. It wasn't until he began exercising and focusing on muscle development that things for him began to change. 

So how do we develop real confidence- the kind that is not found in us, but that relies on who God is in us and what He will do for us? 

                                   We fail. 

Not what you wanted to hear, I know, but until we realize we cannot do everything on our own, we won’t truly understand why we need God in the first place. 

If you are a parent you understand this. When your child is learning to walk, they fall, they scrap their knees: they fail. Your child figures out he cannot walk on his own yet. So your tiny little one holds onto your finger or sits in a walker. This builds their confidence. It brings them balance. We, God’s children, are no different. 

Proverbs 3:5 The Message (MSG) 

5-12 Trust God from the bottom of your heart; don’t try to figure out everything on your own. Listen for God's voice in everything you do, everywhere you go; he's the one who will keep you on track. Don't assume that you know it all. Run to God! Run from evil! Your body will glow with health; your very bones will vibrate with life! Honor God with everything you own; give him the first and the best. Your barns will burst. Your wine vats will brim over. But don't, dear friend, resent God's discipline; don't sulk under his loving correction. It's the child he loves that God corrects; a father's delight is behind all this. 

When we are humbled then we look to God for His answers and His way, which are better than our ways and ideas. 

“There is a way that seems right to man, but in the end, that way leads to death” Proverbs 14:12 

The Benefits of Confidence in God 

When we have confidence and trust in God, we free ourselves from anxiety and worry. These things are the opposite of faith. They cripple our relationships and stunt our growth, but if anxiety and worry are staples in your life, then other things like fear and lack, bitterness and envy are probably some of the things you deal with too. I know I do. 

Simple trust breaks the power of worry. Confidence in God to provide, to fight on your behalf, to give you direction, to bring you peace and a fruitful end, this is what God wants for you. 

God doesn't “need” you to have confidence in Him to exist. God is. What God wants is your trust because it helps you. It makes your life easier. It changes your circumstances. When we allow the Spirit of God to dwell in our everyday and we rely on Him, then we can rest and prosper. 

Isaiah 32:16-18 New Living Translation (NLT) 
16 Justice will rule in the wilderness and righteousness in the fertile field. 17 And this righteousness will bring peace. Yes, it will bring quietness and confidence forever. 18 My people will live in safety, quietly at home. They will be at rest. 

Jeremiah 17:7-8 says: “But blessed are those who trust in the LORD and have made the LORD their hope and confidence. They are like trees planted along a riverbank, with roots that reach deep into the water. Such trees are not bothered by the heat or worried by long months of drought. Their leaves stay green, and they never stop producing fruit.” 

Reflection 

What is one way you can rely on the Lord today and begin trusting Him like never before? How do you build your confidence? 

Confidence Building

OK, I said I would be honest here, and if ever there was a time for that, it is now. I am struggling. I know that there are thousands, if not millions of other blogs out there that have Bible studies. I know there many people better qualified than me to teach, and my resolve and confidence has been shaken. 

As I prayed last night about what to write today, I warred with myself. We do have 2 adversaries in this Spiritual walk with the Lord: the devil, and ourselves. I believe that I was listening way too much to both last night. This is a crisis of faith and to be frank, a lack of trust on my part. So today, I knew when I awoke and began reading that I would have to build my confidence in the Lord, and place my trust in HIM.

The first scripture I searched for was Revelations 12; 10-11a (NLT)

Then I heard a loud voice shouting across the heavens, “It has come at last— salvation and power and the Kingdom of our God, and the authority of his Christ. For the accuser of our brothers and sisters has been thrown down to earth- the one who accuses them before our God day and night. And they have defeated him by the blood of the Lamb and by their testimony.

Our accuser is a liar and if we believe him we believe lies. He has been defeated, and it is by what Jesus did (by the blood of the Lamb). But I want to talk about our part in his defeat. Since he is a liar, we often allow his deceptions to grab our attention and that is when we lose faith, and trust in God. So how do we overcome him and his lies? BY OUR TESTIMONY! Remembering, and speaking out loud the things God has already done for us. Ok, at this point I am already excited. As one of my friends would say, ‘I am geeking out’ right now. I want to shout, because this gives me confidence.

I was raised in church, but that does not mean I always lived like I should have. In fact, a large portion of my life, both part of my childhood and part of my adult life, was spent running from God and believing I knew better. O how wrong I was. I was a liar. I was an adulteress, I was lost. BUT Jesus! He saved me, my marriage, and my family. He has healed me of my broken heart, and He is continually healing my broken ways of thinking. 

This is just part of my testimony. I remember what He has done for me and I actively attack the accuser with the truth. I am the head and not the tail. (Deuteronomy 28:13) God’s breath of life in me makes me intelligent. (Job 32:8) And God uses the foolish things of the world (like another blog from a girl with no bible degree) to confound the wise. (1 Corinthians 1:27)


God has changed so much in me. I can have confidence that His word will accomplish all He set it out to do. (Isaiah 55:11) I know that He has made me into an honest, tell-it-like-it-is person. I know that He has caused me to walk faithfully through my marriage after both He and my husband forgave me. I know that He will use these things in my life to touch others.

Job 4:6. Doesn’t your reverence for God give you confidence? Doesn’t your life of integrity give you hope?

Real confidence is not the worldly self-confidence they jam down our throats since grade school. Real confidence is in our faith and reverence, our TRUST, in God. He knows why He gave me this idea, and I have confidence that so long as I am faithful it will do what He meant it for. Be blessed and be a blessing. 

Remember that trust is an action verb.